Wikipedia states. The original purpose of statutory rape laws was to protect young, unwed females from males who might take their virginity, impregnate them, and not take responsibility by marrying them. I am 17 years old, 18 in 6 months, my boyfriend of 8 months is 31, in short we were led to believe that we could legally be together, by counselors, lawyers, and cops. We called them all and established our relationship based on these lies. After falling in love and moving in together, we double checked the laws only to discover it wasn't legal for us to be together. I immediately returned to my house after his entire family came over to comfort us. I had to lie to my family, stating that I had immaturely run away rather than discovered it was not legal for us to be together. People are still finding out about us and I have to tell them that we are not together anymore simply to protect him, we plan on getting married someday but for now we can not be around each other to avoid more issues arising. How can I avoid having us reported, and if we are how can I keep him safe if we end up in court? A child resulting from sexual intercourse with a minor is living DNA proof of statutory rape, if I happened to get pregnant what is the statue of limitations in Canada? And how can I avoid having a child DNA tested?

There is no defense to Statutory rape, other than he did not do it.

You did not list where you lived, and I assume your parents gave you permission to move out of the house? ( there is no way to give permission for a minor to have sex)

No way to stop someone from reporting if they want to, anyone who may get angry or mad at either one of you can do that.
But were do you live? I ask since most places the age of consent is 16, only a few places are 18 any longer

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

You did not list where you lived,

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OP mentioned that she lived in Canada.

Canada -- Age of Consent


SEX - Child sexual exploitation and the age of consent sex - Canada


That is why I asked, since Canada used to have a 14 age limit and just changed it to 16, so at 17 they are over the limit.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Canada -- Age of Consent


SEX - Child sexual exploitation and the age of consent sex - Canada


That is why I asked, since Canada used to have a 14 age limit and just changed it to 16, so at 17 they are over the limit.

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This is why we were so confused, everyone told us it was 16, everything we looked at said 16 but then when we called the cops again and looked on canada's official site it said 18

Frequently Asked Questions: Age of Consent to Sexual Activity

I think this is major over reaction. Your split up because of laws you think might get him into trouble. Why so worried about it all of a sudden. What else happened to put the fear in you? Was it him, yourself?

Now everyone will tell you the legal age is 16. You already have been told by many people that it is legal. Even if somebody reports it, which who would?

At the same time. You have only known each other for 8 months and already living together. Moving kind of fast... that is just opinion. Slow down, take your time. Enjoy your life before getting too involved.

There is no rush is there?
Maybe you should practice being safe since you state you might get pregnant.

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I think this is major over reaction. Your split up because of laws you think might get him into trouble. Why so worried about it all of a sudden. What else happened to put the fear in you? Was it him, yourself?

Now everyone will tell you the legal age is 16. You already have been told by many people that it is legal. Even if somebody reports it, which who would?

At the same time. You have only known each other for 8 months and already living together. Moving kind of fast... that is just opinion. Slow down, take your time. Enjoy your life before getting too involved.

There is no rush is there?
Maybe you should practice being safe since you state you might get pregnant.

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My biggest issue is that if it turned out to be illegal his kid would get involved too and he might never see him again, we called the cops and they said it was illegal. And I understand what you mean by going too fast and I agree, but there were other issues at home that made me move out and the only place I could go was to his house or family that would send me right back

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I think this is major over reaction. Your split up because of laws you think might get him into trouble. Why so worried about it all of a sudden. What else happened to put the fear in you? Was it him, yourself?

Now everyone will tell you the legal age is 16. You already have been told by many people that it is legal. Even if somebody reports it, which who would?

At the same time. You have only known each other for 8 months and already living together. Moving kind of fast... that is just opinion. Slow down, take your time. Enjoy your life before getting too involved.

There is no rush is there?
Maybe you should practice being safe since you state you might get pregnant.

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And we've known each other for longer than 8 months

I do not believe that for a second that he would never see his child if that were to happen. You said there is 6 more months and your 18. Maybe your coming up with all these issues yourself because your truly not ready for this step and looking for any chance to get out of this situation as well without looking like the bad guy.

You said you have lots of issues at home. Well what was so bad that pushed you out to live with a 31 year old? Just curious and wondering.

How long have you known him for and how is your family or his family about this.

So either you want to be with him or not. Simple. Or is it?
Your looking into everything almost to prevent this from happening, The thing I am thinking is there is a lot more to this story then your sharing.

First, You are not reading the law correctly. Here is what it said on that site you linked to:

What is Canada's age of consent?
The age of consent is 18 years where the sexual activity involves exploitative activity, such as prostitution, pornography or where there is a relationship of trust, authority or dependency. For other sexual activity, the age of consent is 14 years.


So, unless this man used you to create pornography or paid you for sex, the age of 18 would not apply. Also if he was your boss, teacher, clergy, etc. The age limit of 18 might apply. I also have to wonder when that page was last updated, since the law was recently changed from age of 14 to 16.


I know you probably don't want to hear this but I have to question a 31 yr old having a relationship, especially a sexual one, with a 17 yr old. I know you fee you are in love, but you are still emotionally developing. The two of you are at very different levels of development. I do not see a real future for this relationship.

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I do not believe that for a second that he would never see his child if that were to happen. You said there is 6 more months and your 18. Maybe your coming up with all these issues yourself because your truly not ready for this step and looking for any chance to get out of this situation as well without looking like the bad guy.

You said you have lots of issues at home. Well what was so bad that pushed you out to live with a 31 year old? Just curious and wondering.

How long have you known him for and how is your family or his family about this.

So either you want to be with him or not. Simple. or is it?
Your looking into everything almost to prevent this from happening, The thing I am thinking is there is a lot more to this story then your sharing.

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WOW, OK first of all I do want to be with this guy, what we are trying to prevent is him going to jail for statutory rape, and yes if he went to jail for that he wouldn't see his kid. What we are wondering is if we can be together for these 6 months before I'm 18. And why are you so bitter about this? Im asking for help, its like you're taking things from your personal life and judging me.

As for the at home things, my dad never has food in the house because he spends so much time away from it that he doesn't notice, my stepmom and her boyfriend have sex in the room right beside me and our walls are so thin I hear everything, whenever I try to concentrate on something they're calling me out of my room to bring them a glass of water like they can't get off their own butt and walk 5 feet to get it themselves

His family loves me, his ex wife is one of my closest friends and we spend a lot of time together, I went over there for christmas even to help set up the tree, my side of the family hates him and won't even give him a chance

I have known him for a year and a half I used to give him advice on women and we talked on the phone almost every single night, it feels like I've known him for years

Of course there is more to the story than I'm sharing, I'm not getting into the whole thing online I just want help with this one issue

FIRST- I am not bitter about anything, or about this.

SECOND - I am not judging your personal life or judging you. Quite the opposite actually.

THIRD- Thirdly I am telling you that your over reacting that your looking into things the wrong way and that your worrying over NOTHING.

How much clearer do you want me to be.

He is not going to go to jail.
You are not breaking the law.
He is not breaking the law.

Your free to do whatever you feel is right. You have support of family, his? So what is the problem.

Your question has been answered over and over again. Except your not willing to take the answers that were given to you even though we all reassured you that your wrong.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

First, You are not reading the law correctly. Here is what it said on that site you linked to:

What is Canada's age of consent?
The age of consent is 18 years where the sexual activity involves exploitative activity, such as prostitution, pornography or where there is a relationship of trust, authority or dependency. For other sexual activity, the age of consent is 14 years.


So, unless this man used you to create pornography or paid you for sex, the age of 18 would not apply. Also if he was your boss, teacher, clergy, etc. The age limit of 18 might apply. I also have to wonder when that page was last updated, since the law was recently changed from age of 14 to 16.


I know you probably don't want to hear this but I have to question a 31 yr old having a relationship, especially a sexual one, with a 17 yr old. I know you fee you are in love, but you are still emotionally developing. the two of you are at very different levels of development. I do not see a real future for this relationship.

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I've gotten that a lot, and I understand completely, when I read about older men being with younger girls I automatically think "pedophile" the alarms go off but the people who know us and how we are together can see something that words can't express. I have been through a lot in my life and had to grow up faster than I probably should have, a relationship with someone my own age just feels wrong and immature, it makes me feel like a pedophile. From my own experience, I promised myself I would save my virginity for the man I loved, he knew that and wouldn't let me do anything even after a month of me asking, he wanted to be sure it was what I wanted.

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

FIRST- I am not bitter about anything, or about this.

SECOND - I am not judging your personal life or judging you. Quite the opposite actually.

THIRD- Thirdly I am telling you that your over reacting that your looking into things the wrong way and that your worrying over NOTHING.

How much clearer do you want me to be.

He is not going to go to jail.
You are not breaking the law.
He is not breaking the law.

Your free to do whatever you feel is right. You have support of family, his? So what is the problem.

Your question has been answered over and over again. Except your not willing to take the answers that were given to you even though we all reassured you that your wrong.

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I want to apologize, you're right I was over reacting, and thank you :)

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

... ( there is no way to give permission for a minor to have sex)...

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In most places parents are allowed to give their permission for minors (over a certain age) to get married. That would be the simple solution.

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Originally Posted by GretaX

I've gotten that a lot, and I understand completely, when I read about older men being with younger girls I automatically think "pedophile" the alarms go off but the people who know us and how we are together can see something that words can't express. I have been through a lot in my life and had to grow up faster than I probably should have, a relationship with someone my own age just feels wrong and immature, it makes me feel like a pedophile. From my own experience, I promised myself I would save my virginity for the man I loved, he knew that and wouldnt let me do anything even after a month of me asking, he wanted to be sure it was what i wanted.

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I would like to know how you met this guy? I have to wonder about someone who asks for advice on women from a 16 yr old girl?

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

I would like to know how you met this guy? I have to wonder about someone who asks for advice on women from a 16 yr old girl?

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I met him at a house party through one of my friends. I've always been friends with older people so being his friend didn't shock anyone, not even my dad. Most of my friends are anywhere from 29 to 36 and when I go to their parties people always assume I'm 26 from the way I look.

And the asking for advice on women part, lots of men do it, although usually they look online I guess he figured it would be much more convenient to ask his closest female friend