I have been with my boyfriend with the last three years. We were the type of couple that always fought and always broke up but always got back together again! It was usually him that broke it off but after a few days he would change his mind. We would talk and sort it out! He lost his job a few months ago and seems to have lost interest in everything even me! He always tells me he loves me and even two weeks ago asked me would I marry him some day! We had been getting on really well lately but had a stupid fight the other day and he broke up with me. He said that he is just sick of the fighting even though we had been getting on well lately. He asked could we still talk (he does this every time we break up and freaks if I say no that ill need time to get over him) when I said no he went mad but I ended getting a new number and haven't spoken in the last week.He has my house phone number but hasn't called either. I really miss him

If you like this up/down, off/on, kind of relationship, good for you that's what you have.

I think its telling he leaves and comes back, and you take him back, every time. No wonder he does it, instead of handling this in a mature way.

He will always do what he does as long as you let him.

You may miss him for now, but you don't need this drama that keeps repeating itself do you? Only you can stop this.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

If you like this up/down, off/on, kind of relationship, good for you thats what you have.

I think its telling he leaves and comes back, and you take him back, every time. No wonder he does it, instead of handling this in a mature way.

He will always do what he does as long as you let him.

You may miss him for now, but you don't need this drama that keeps repeating itself do you? Only you can stop this.

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I have changed my number so I have cut contact with him is this the right thing to do??

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Originally Posted by aoifee88

i have changed my number so i have cut contact with him is this the right thing to do???

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It's not about what's right or wrong. It's about what's best for you.

He's broken up with you several times already. Even if you got back together, who knows when you'll break up again. How can you go on with so much insecurity.

If you go into "no contact," do it because you want to heal from the break up, not because it's the right thing.

Check out the NC related threads in my signature.

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Originally Posted by aoifee88

i have changed my number so i have cut contact with him is this the right thing to do???

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It's a good start.

Changing your number is a good start,the only problem I see is,he has learned from the other breakups that if he persists you will cave in.

Going no contact is the best option,but you need to stick with it,he will learn that this time was the last time he walks away.

Stick to no contact.
A relationship where you solve problems by arguing,breaking up and then getting back together again only to repeat the same pattern is not healthy.

The mature thing is to let this go.
No contact,heal from the breakup and move on.

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Originally Posted by amicon

Stick to no contact.
A relationship where you solve problems by arguing,breaking up and then getting back together again only to repeat the same pattern is not healthy.

The mature thing is to let this go.
No contact,heal from the breakup and move on.

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Yes I know this is the right thing to but we have a history together also. Valentines day last year we lost our daughter after two and a half hours and she is something special that we had together. Should that mean anything under the circumstances

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Originally Posted by aoifee88

yes i know this is the right thing to but we have a history together also. valentines day last year we lost our daughter after two and a half hours and she is something special that we had together. should that mean anything under the circumstances

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It means you can mourn her loss alone without him around - my condolences as well.

His constant breaking up with you proves that he cannot handle dealing with issues head on. Relationships cannot survive without two people willing to deal with anything. Every time the going gets tough, he leaves for awhile. That isn't fair to you. You owe it to yourself to find a future that involves people in it for the long haul in both good and bad times. While it may be hard now, stick to your guns and fight for what you deserve!

Don't let your history with him jeopardize the future you should have.

I'm sorry for your loss.

The death of a child can hit a relationship very hard,sometimes even the strongest couples can't share their grief.

A year is a short time after a death,but yes it could be a big factor in his behaviour.

Look over the full history of your relationship.

A relationship history strewn with goodbyes is a good indiction of its future.

I'm very sorry that happened to you. That's a tragic loss.
Yes,you have history and shared painful memories,but that doesn't mean you have to stay together when your relationship isn't working.
Have you had bereavement counciling to help you cope with your sad loss?

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Originally Posted by amicon

I'm very sorry that happened to you. That's a tragic loss.
Yes,you have history and shared painful memories,but that doesnt mean you have to stay together when your relationship isnt working.
Have you had bereavement counciling to help you cope with your sad loss?

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Yes I no we are best apart but in time it mite be nice to be friends because of all we have been through? You I've had a little counciling he on the other hand has only been to one counciling session

Maybe you can be friends some time in the future,but for now I think you should concentrate on building a happy life for yourself.

I am sorry for your loss. I can not begin to imagine how hard that must have been.

About your relationship - I too have been in a volitile relationship where we must have broken up 30 times in the past year - and every time we do - I go through the emotions of a final break-up. Although this time - I think it is the last and final one.

My therapist told me that this doesn't have to be his decision all the time. That I can make the decision to end this as well - that it doesn't have to be only on his terms.

I commend you for changing your number and being strong - keep it up! I wish I could be as strong as you.

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Originally Posted by hopeflies

I am sorry for your loss. I can not begin to imagine how hard that must have been.

About your relationship - I too have been in a volitile relationship where we must have broken up 30 times in the past year - and everytime we do - I go through the emotions of a final break-up. Although this time - I think it is the last and final one.

My therapist told me that this doesn't have to be his decision all the time. That I can make the decision to end this as well - that it doesnt have to be only on his terms.

I commend you for changing your number and being strong - keep it up! I wish I could be as strong as you.

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I wouldn't really call myself strong its so hard doing this. I think you get to a stage where enough is enough. You can do it too seriusly. When he broke up with me I got so mad that I broke up my sim card and threw it away and I did it before I had calmed down because I knew that when I calmed down I wouldn't have. I'm glad I did it now, even though I love him more than anything it was the right thing. You deserve better than this. Maybe if you end it and cut contact with him he will realise what he is missing

Aaaaaaaah feel like I'm going to go mad today. Feel like I'm never going to find someone again

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Originally Posted by aoifee88

aaaaaaaah feel like im going to go mad today. feel like im never going to find someone again

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Those feelings are natural. You will find someone, but first you need to learn how to deal with this loss. One thing at a time. That's why we are here. Be patient with yourself. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, we can see that even if you can't. :)

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Originally Posted by kctiger

Those feelings are natural. You will find someone, but first you need to learn how to deal with this loss. One thing at a time. That's why we are here. Be patient with yourself. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, we can see that even if you can't. :)

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Awe thanks I'm just so mad because I really thought he was the one but thinking back on all the bad things he did to me I can't understand why I didn't see it sooner. I've wasted a long 3 years of my life

You haven't wasted anything. If we look at all of the things that don't workout in our life, we would consider half our life wasted. That isn't the case. You learned lots, you grew, you became who you are. That's life. We go through so much that just doesn't fit who we are in the end, but that's all right. It isn't wasted, it is a necessary part of becoming who we are. You have plenty more life to live, so start living it.

It's good you see the light now, better late than never. Start treating yourself the way you deserve and watch the fullness life has to offer.

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Originally Posted by kctiger

You haven't wasted anything. If we look at all of the things that don't workout in our life, we would consider half our life wasted. That isn't the case. You learned lots, you grew, you became who you are. That's life. We go through so much that just doesn't fit who we are in the end, but that's alright. It isn't wasted, it is a necessary part of becoming who we are. You have plenty more life to live, so start living it.

It's good you see the light now, better late than never. Start treating yourself the way you deserve and watch the fullness life has to offer.

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You I will never let anyone treat me like that again. Guess all this will make me stronger in the long run