He has been lying, can I trust him again?
My boyfriend has been lying to me about many things in his life. Apparently he has been running salsa classes, which he never told me about, as he said he "didn't want me there"; he knew I would be jealous and controlling.
He also started "working" every second weekend, didn't call me as much as before and kept his phone always a big secret. Never answered it in front of me, always on silent mode.
But he always repeated how much he loves me, every time we were together.
One evening I decided to check on his phone, hoping that I am not going to find there anything. Unfortunately I did. I found a text message from his “ex”, telling about how her day was, how much he loves him and wants him now. I was devastated, I confronted him straight away. First he lied that he doesn’t know the number, and then he said she is only a friend.
He left my house mad at me how could I go through his stuff and he took this stuff with him. That day was a nightmare for me; I couldn’t believe what happened, how much he might have been lying to me all that time. I texted him and called him telling what a bastard he is. He said there is no point to talk with mw as I am not going to believe anyway.
Few days later I couldn’t stand the pain and thinking what has been going on. I called him and ask to tell me the whole truth. He said he has been in this relationship all the time, with ups and downs, that when he met me he never thinks of a serious relationship. Then he fell in love and didn’t want to tell me the truth as he didn’t want to hurt me. Apparently he met with her the same day he met me after “his long working day” .I was shocked. I cried and hated him so much.
Few days later he text me that he loves me and misses me a lot. We spoke on the phone and we met to talk. He told me that day that he lied to me telling me that he has been with her all the time, he told me he never cheated, that she is only a friend and he cannot stop her from texting him. But what kind of texts they are?? I cannot believe it. He keeps changing his stories all time. I asked him to call her but he wouldn’t do it. Apparently she knows that he is with me (well, I never heard about her before).
What should I do? Can I trust him? Which story to believe, is it worth it to spend my energy on someone like that? My gut tells me he has cheated and facts tell me he lied so many times. Can a guy like that change for better? He is 38 and I am 27. Please help.
We broke up but he came over to talk and stayed for a night
I was trying to do NC after we broke up. He lied to me and possibly cheated (I have no prove apart from a text message from a girl expressing her feelings of love and desire to him). He came over to talk, as it was so difficult for me to do NC. I was determined to be strong and not let him change my mind, but after long talk he stayed over and we made love. I feel really bad. Did he just used me, as he know I do have feelings for him, or does he still care? I am so lost. He calls everyday and say we should try again. He said I was always too controlling and I created the whole issues. I am thinking (it may sound sad) of giving him a second chance, but be distanced and more reserved, observe before I will actually commit myself. Do you think I could give it a try? How can I also convince my friends (who hate him now after what he did), that things can still work out? If they are real friends they should really respect me decision, right?
How should I act when I see him? I feel it is all my fault?
I felt my boyfriend is acting distant recently, doesn't call me as often as he did, is not spontanious as he used to be too. We spend time together but most of it is dedicated to sex, and we also have other passion, which is dancing, so we go out dancing together. For a longer time he doesn't take me out as he used to... I feel like I am not so important any more. He cancelled our meeting yesterday as he was tired after work, but we are meeting today. He called me like 10 min ago and I acted very unhappy, telling him that I feel he doesn't really love me anymore and doesn't care as he used to... I feel like I have already spoiled this evening... I feel like I am too obsessed... but also feel somehow I have reasons to be worried... What should I do?