Ask Me Help Desk - Does divorce harm children

Does divorce harm children

I am doing a speech for college on does divorce harm children and I have to have an expert testimony and a peer testimony someone please help :)

Ask any lawyer that deals with family Law (that's what they call it in Canada, may be different where you are from). My wife does a lot of this and sees a variety of accounts. Hint: it's rarely a positive effect on the children.

Well, from a product of a divorced home... think I made out okay. I actually think it gave me internal strength that I would not have possesed if the difficulties were not experienced. It gave me a different perspective in life. In an odd way, it gave me hope, hope that I when I became an adult, the decisions of life were in my hands, and I had great faith that once that happened I would be in control of my own destiny and no longer have to cope with the after effects of decsions and choices made for me. Hope that makes sense.

With all of that said, the effects of divorce on children, vary by situtation and the child themselves. Of course the preference would be for every child to be raised in a two parent home where there is love throughout.

In some ways, yes, it can be harmful, but in every difficult situation there are life lessons. In my case, it prepared me for the world, to be able to face difficult situations and know how to counter act.

I think the most important point to answer your question, is there is not one answer, it's not yes or no, as again, each child is their own individual self and what effects one may not effect another.

Also, it may be of benefit to think about the harmful effects it has on children, when the parents stay together, but do nothing but fight and create an unhealthy home life.

This is a tough one, hope this helps. Good luck with your project.

Speaking as a divorcée, my children would have suffered if my husband and I had stayed together. If the children see their parents unhappy together I think this is more harmful to them than two happy parents apart. My children are happy, well-adjusted and confident because they know I love them.

Definitely children will suffer with out their knowledge. It will take way the child hood from them. They will be over loaden by guilt which they should not. Better live separately than to divorce

As a mom with 4 grown kids

It depends on the kids and situation and so forth. Some parents are better off divorcing because of the way their not getting along effects the kids they are staying together for the sake of.

My ex was never there for my kids even when they were toddlers. When my one son was around 7 he had really bad anger issues for at least until he was almost 20.
My other kids adjusted fairly well and now my son with the anger issues lives down the street from me.
My two daughters are in the Air Force and have bf's the oldest has a baby as well.
They both know how to have a good relationship. That is what I was most worried about is when kids grow up in one parent, or abusive or dysfunctional family they often haven't got the first clue on how to keep a good relationship. They often swear they will never turn out like their mother or father but they do because it is what they know.

Oh and my other son is in the Army and in Iraq.

None of them do drugs or get in any kind of trouble.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mlands26

i am doing a speech for college on does divorce harm children and i have to have an expert testimony and a peer testimony someone please help :)

I think that it's not so much divorce that harms kids as conflict within a relationship. The Drager study of several years ago demonstrated that move-aways were profoundly harmful on kids, and it didn't matter who moved. The custodial parent with the kids or the non-custodial parent.

Just a note, mlands26 hasn't posted to this forum a 3 years.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

Just a note, mlands26 hasn't posted to this forum a 3 years.

I my gosh, you are right~! We're answering someone who asked a question 3 years ago! :eek:

I always forget to check the dates on these posts.

I did that so often at the beginning. LOL!

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

I did that so often at the beginning. LOL!

I know, I feel like I'm talking to a ghost!