My wife and I are separated and Thanksgiving is creating drama. My wife asked me several times over the last month to go with her to Thanksgiving with her family. Now the day before she's getting all emotional and feeling down. I don't know whether I should go because it's creating all kinds of drama and making her feel depressed. I know she really wants me to go, but on the other hand me going is creating pain for her, I don't know what would be best.

Ok. Your ex CLEARLY misses you being around. Duh! Because you are a man! Now be a real man and get to talking with her! Ask her why she's been so upset. Let her know you can be strong and handle these things!
-cierra

YES - COMMINCATION
Communicate with her.
Good Luck

[Hi Rocke,

How would you feeling going? You should incorporate that into your decision as well. A little confused, if she wants you to go, which it sounds as though she does, why is it causing her pain.

If you are okay about going, I would ask her, gently, do you wish me to go with you. Tell her you would like to go and there is so much sadness in the world, let's just put all the difficulties of the past behind us for today, and enjoy a family gathering. But again, that would only be if you are okay about it as well.

My gut is saying to go, as long as the family welcomes you again with kindness. If you suspect that any turmoil will result for you, her or the family, it may be best then to decline.

I truly hope all the despair and sadness can be laid aside, so that all of you can have an enjoyable day.

You shouldn't go. It can create an awkward situation for all. Rather, have more discussion to see if you two can make progress one way or the other.

Personally, I wouldn't go. Especially if she's the one who initiated the separation.

You do not want the drama... I suppose with her family because/due to the separation... she seems to be a nice woman... you have concern about... question: what are you doing this holiday... that should have brought this nation together after a civil war? If, Lincoln felt it necessary to particpate in a thanksgiving... so should the such of you... simple... just you and her... take her out to dinner and have dessert... she does not want to be alone on this and any holiday... do this for peace sake...

We talked this morning on the phone and she asked me to go again, and I accepted. It went well. While we were there she took me in another room, gave me a big hug and said she was glad I was there. She showed me some physical affection several times, even hugging me and held hands in front of her family. But her moods change more quick than anyone I know because towards the end she started acting different. She wanted me to hang out with her during the day but after we left she decided she wanted to go home. She's supposed to eat with my family later this afternoon, we'll see how that goes.

Are you guys trying to get together or fronting for the family? Just curious.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Are you guys trying to get together or fronting for the family? Just curious.

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Were definitely not fronting for the family. Were trying to figure out whether we want to stay married. It wasn't strange hanging out with her because we talk everyday and see each other a couple times a week.

In that case, good luck.

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Originally Posted by rockne

Were definitely not fronting for the family. Were trying to figure out whether we want to stay married. It wasn't strange hanging out with her because we talk everyday and see each other a couple times a week.

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If you don't mind me asking, what was the reason for the separation in the first place?
Do you BOTH want to work things out?