Hey guys so I'm pretty new to this site again because I looked over it a couple years ago and now I know why maybe it came across my path... because one day... like today... I know I'm going to need it.


So here the story begins... I started dating after 1 year of "getting to know eachother" a former classmate in school. When we started dating, everything was cherry blossom. Still as time progressed everything was perrrfect. And then... was when I hit rock bottom. I fell ever more in love than I would have ever imagined... so as time starts proceeding I gave into the relationship a lotttttt more than I saw he was. But did I ever stop to say anything? No, I just kept thinking it was probably my fault because I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough. He was an overall sweet guy, amazing personality, family oriented, wasn't clingy, can make me feel better in a heart beat... but... I was the only one that showed physical affection. I was the one to always hug him, kiss him, etcc. I guess he was just one of those people that wasn't so affectionate. I understood, talked about it a few times but figuered that's how he is. Finally, here comes the tragedy... it was worse than pain itself... it was worse than a cut... worst than a sting... worse than a slap in the face... he broke my heart... he broke up with me because he thought we shouldve enjoyed life. I can't imagine another time where I've cried sooooooo much like I did for a month straight. And THANK THE LORD I was in summer vacation cause I wouldve missed plenty of school. I couldn't think of what I couldve done wrong. Was I too clingy? Was I unfair at any point? All I thought was about things that could be my fault... I finally asked throughout my depression what I did wrong. He said "you didnt do absoutley anything wrong. youre just too perfect and i want you in the future. i love you to death but i want to enjoy my life." was he not enjoying his life with me? (mind you, I'm not the type of person that restricted him from doing anything) I was CLUELESS!! If he wanted more time with friends, we couldve simply talked it out and made one weekend for us and one weekend for friends. But no no... he wanted to break up. As time progressed I started thinking and thinking... and I concluded he wanted to break up to mess around with other girls. After we broke up, we were still talking and doing things like we used to before for 3 months. Till one day I had enough. We were stilll the same just not labeled a relationship. But I was done. I was DONE. So once he saw that I grew strength and put my foot down, he started to panic. He went crazy telling me not to let go, that we had hope, we have everything that we were our first loves etc. so I said OK what are you trying to tell me? Do you want to get back? He says yes. So I say welll you know what ill have to think about that cause I don't know if that's what I want anymore. So 3 days later, we're talking and I bring it up. His response? Oh about that... actually I'm not too sure I really want that so... once again, I say NO MORE! And I put my foot down once again. AGAIN he goes crazyyy. But this time I didn't give in. so in the beginning of 2010, he shows up at my house. We had a talk about everything and for some reason I felt like it was our closure... so that day I took my final step forward. Now I found this great guy and we began dating. We started as friends in the beginning of last year and we just started dating... but for some odd reason I wasn't feeling it. I felt like if I was kissing a brother. So I cut it off and we're in good terms. But my previous ex is destroyed once again because he knows he won't find someone like me. I treated him like royalty, no one will ever understand how much I loved him. But I can't take the pain anymore, I suffer SOOO much because of him, I'm sad because of him, I can't be happy because of him, I can't be with someone else because of him, I can't find the answer of why this is happening, I've read advice everywhere I've asked for advice everywhere I've received advcie from everyone, this might sound super corny but I feel like one of those nicholas sparks novels... and please when you're done reading this, try to get into my shoes, for those who have been through it... you know its not easy so please be honest with me, tell me what YOU would do... itll help a lot <3 thank you guys.. :(

You can be happy, just let him go and think of YOU!You did all the work and he didn't want it, found out AFTER,how you felt AFTER you told him and you feel bad for him? Sorry guy you lost me and I am gone. Make yourself happy, date the new guy take your time and this time make Comm #1 on your list and be open to him,the new guy. The old guy will be OK, he is not your worry any more. You ARE! Do for you so you will be happy, you tried, he failed,more on,be happy.

You put your heart and soul into the first relationship,did the very best you could,but for him it was not good enough,rejection after being the best you could be,shakes the very soul in you.

It takes time to heal,it takes time to understand that you are good enough and that you can love as deeply again.

No contact... no text,no Facebook,no nothing.. its the most quick and best route to freedom for the never ending questions you keep asking yourself..

Nc will give you perspective,and it will help you grow.

Everyone gets their heart broken,and as bad as it feels its good,because it gives you a gauge for other relationships to come.

You now know what you don't want in a relationship,it's a cliché I know,but you loved and lost,and now you learn from it.

You feed your soul to the first love it's a normal thing we all have done it
It hurt likes hell :(

But the only thing you can do now is try to heal
That means Go no contact with this guy take up a hobby
Go out with friends do anything you can to stay active

And use this time to the best of your ablities


All the best

I really appreciate your answers, they are very kind and helpful <3


The even worst part actually is that our families grew really close so any event that goes on, I see him. It's like I cannot run away from him! And the no contact thing, I've tried so many times and succeeded but he breaks it, he blows up my phone all the time, and I've thought about changing my number but why in the world am I going to that for him? I don't want to change things around for myself because of him, that's not fair. I don't want to not be friends with our mutual friends, I can't let him have that satisfaction obviously. But it sucks because then all of his friends always tell me any gossip they here and when they're about to tell me I'm like NO STOP! I don't want to know! But then after I get super curious cause I mean who wouldn't? And I deleted him off Facebook so he doesn't check my things and I don't check his, but it happens to be that he goes on like his cousin's or our mutual friend's accounts to see what's going on with me. I did that once a few months after breaking up and it teared me apart again because obviously girls were flirting and all his status's said party party party etccc. And the saddest part is that he wasn't even the party type of guy!! I don't know what I couldve ever done for him to want to get out of his shell like that, he's a laidback kind of guy, he likes to sit down and have talks about life, but now its just about being with his friends and partying over here and over there. The funny thing is that before we started going out he was what they call now a days a "player". He used to hook up with girls here and there, and when we began to date people were shocked that he finally was into something stable. He would tell me all the time how I changed him for the better. But what got him to return to his old him?! I just seem to not understand what life is leading this to >:( it sucks to be clueless and wondering about what can happen... and those million thoughts running through my mind are just.. so frustrating so stressful :(

All wounds take time to heal, especially emotional ones. You have to give yourself that time and work hard to rebuild your life, by finding things that you enjoy.

Its often hard to go from a relationship to being single because we have a hole in our soul, that needs to be filled.

Get busy doing good things for yourself, and fill your life with people, places, and things, that make you happy.

Happy people don't hurt so much. You must also accept that peoples feelings change, even if yours don't.