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My girlfriend just dropped a bombshell on me 2 days ago that she wanted time to figure out what she wants. Our situation is we argued a few times and it got a little out of control but we seemed to make that better and after a few days she said she can't get it out of her mind. I gave her a second chance before with issues I had with her and we worked through it.Should I text her something simple like "how you doing" and if so how long do I wait? I really need help on this
Don't text, e-mail or call her. She's told you that she wants time, so respect her decision.
You said that you argued a few times and it got a little out of control. I assume that you got physical with her? Did you hit her? Push her? If domestic abuse is coming into the picture I wouldn't blame her at all for wanting time away from you... I'd encourage it. Provide a few more details to give a clearer picture of what's actually happening.
It didn't get physical at all.It was a argument that I said I was leaveing and couldn't deal with it then she started saying that I was breaking up with her and I just didn't understand why it happened. She said she didn't want advice with her problem just wanted me to listen and that's what started it. I punched the wall a few times but after we talked and everything was fine.
I never hit her,pushed her,or anything like that
She asked for time, and space so respect her wishes. She will find you when she's ready to talk.
Go do your own thing, don't sit by the phone waiting for her to call.
Punching walls is not normal behavior, even in the midst of an argument. Have you ever considered that she may actually be afraid of you?
In my opinion, you may have some "anger issues" that really need to be addressed through some counseling. Maybe she'd be willing to give it another try if she would see that you are getting help with the anger.
That is a good idea and I will seek help in that because I do think I have a problem with anger because it shouldn't of gone that far. I thank you for thatQuote:
Originally Posted by Devorameira
While she's taking a time out to sort out her feelings for you, it's a good idea for you to take care of your own personal problems.Quote:
Originally Posted by jjt7737
I think that would be great - she'd be albe to see that you are trying really hard to make things right and you'd be getting to the bottom of your anger issues at the same time. Good luck!
You scared the crap out of her for sure, and should deal with your own issues before you worry about getting back with her.
Leave her alone until you do.
You know what to-do. My father and mother always told me, "Treat others how you would want to be treated." Be a MAN. You have balls, and a , USE THEM. Don't let people walk all over you. Do you think its fair for her to treat you this way? Do you think that is what love is? Would you ever treat her like this? What if you guys are married and had kids. Would you ever said, "Hey, um.... I need to figure stuff out because we had a fight." People fight, its HUMAN nature. Its how you handle a fight that matters. Let me guess, whenever you fight with her you are always ready to forgive and forget. Ive been there and done that. When I use to fight with girls(the ones I have fallen in love with), we would get in a fight, no matter how big or how small, and you know what? A few minutes later I would just forget about it because I was in love. If she LOVED you this shouldn't be bothering her. If someone can't handle fighting and decide to "take a break to think about what happened" or "I can't get this out of my head" there is something wrong with the relationship. Unless you beat her, were an alcoholic, cheated on her, or screamed at her you are NOT wrong. REMEMBER: YOU got mad for A REASON because SHE did SOMETHING that WASN'T up to your expectations. I REMEMBER when I use to have fights with my ex gf(of 3 years). Guess who started the fights? HER. WHY? Because she was a immature little girl. Here is a situation of one of the bigger fights we had.Quote:
Originally Posted by jjt7737
Monday:
Gf: I don't want to meet you for dinner because I have school, work early the next day. And I'm afraid of driving at night because I don't want to get into a car-accident with a deer.
Me: Okay baby, I understand. I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you.
2 days go by and everything is fine, we talk during the day, talk at night.
Wednesday:
Girlfriend calls me after work, around 4ishPM: Hey baby I love you.
Me: I love you too.
Gf: So, anything exciting go on tonight?
Me: Just working and going to bed soon I have school tomorrow. What are you up too? Did you have a nice dinner/Day?
Gf: Yeah worked was kind of sucky. Hey baby ill call you later I'm going to eat dinner.
Me: Okay love you.
Gf: I love you too Ill call you back in a bit.
4 hours go by:
Me texting her: Hey you there? Call me I'm about to get to bed.
1 hour goes by:
Me calling her: No one picks up.
1 hour later I get a text: "Hey sorry I was driving home."
Girlfriend calls me: Its not late, about 11 PM at night, its dark as hell out too.
Me: Where were you driving home from?
Gf: From my friends house.
Me: Oh okay... Don't you have school, work tomorrow?
Gf: Yeah, why?
Me: Well, didn't you just explain to me 3 days ago that you didn't like driving at night because you don't want to get into a car accident with a deer and that you don't want to be out late at night because you have school and work tomorrow?
*BIG FIGHT* Me: So basically you ditched me, and lied to me about this whole thing.
This is how I was treated. That man, time to pack the bags and move on. I should have left my EX a LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG time ago.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jjt7737
Nah dude you don't need to seek help. She pissed you off. SHE made you act that way. Would you randomly punch walls? Would you randomly freak out for no reason?
I use to FLIP the out with my ex because she was SUCH a . I am the most gentliest person and caring person ever. SHE pissed me off with the immature she did. Why did I get mad? HMMM lets think...
OH I KNOW WHY: It was her birthday, we were at a friend house having a good time, getting drunk, watching movies, it was great. Everything was fine, this was 1 year into the relationship. The whole I love you, I love you too. I want to be with you forever, I want to be with you forever too. I could never love anyone as much as you, I couldn't imagine loving anyone BUT you. Then, we're all chilling and for some strange reason, it was like if Jesus touched my shoulder and whispered in my ear: "Go through her phone." So, drunken me picks up her phone.
GF starts to cry. I know what you're thinking.
ME: What are you talking about?
GF: I know what you're going to think, *crying out of control*
So then I actually go through the phone. GUESS WHAT?
Her ex boyfriend and her have been talking at night. How do I know, because I call the number that wasn't saved, and it turns out it was him. I quickly hung up, and noticed that they have been talking to each other for a whole week LATE at night around 12ish, AFTER she gets off the PHONE with me to go to bed. NOT ONLY THAT, but she's freaking texting me, and HES texting her saying, "GOOD MORNING BABY"
ME: IS THIS?
GRRRRR, no dude. You do nothing wrong, it's the people who do you wrong that makes you act this way.
Nope I think its over, go NC, work on you, fix your anger problems and move on.Hitting things with your hand isn't very smart, it hurts .LOL. Anyway its not how to act, if you need a release like that do it so no one sees it. Go chop wood or hammer some nails, looks much better and some work will be done too. Good luck.
I do not agree at all with the idea she made you do it!
You are always responsible for your own actions, and how you deal with the actions of others.
This is part of a email I got from her what do you think about it?Quote:
Originally Posted by jjt7737
She is asking you to NC. Do it.
If you actually think your behavior was her fault, you just aren't getting it. She DIDN'T make you punch the walls - you did that because YOU have anger issues.
At this point I have to agree with valkman98 - Go no contact and leave her alone just like she asked you.
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