I'm in a lesbian relationship and have been for several months now and I really like this girl and we get on great, only thing is we have a long distance relationship I trust her. But it bothers me that her and her female friend share a bed when they stay at each others houses and this really bothers me I've spoken to her about it and how it makes me feel but she does nothing about it, I don't know what else I'm surpposed to do.. any ideas? As it makes me feel really unconfortable thanks

"If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen."

You've already expressed your concerns, I'm sure she understands, but she's going to continue to do her own thing. You can't force her to change.

I'm not saying that agree with her, because I would feel just as uncomfortable if I were in your position. But the question is, can you accept this behavior? You either trust her or you don't. If you can't accept this, then find someone else who shares your views. No point forcing yourself to stay in this relationship.

Like Iwish said you've already let her know how you feel about it , if she doesn't want to change her ways you either decide to put up with it or you leave. Plain and simple.

It would certainly make me uncomfortable as well.

I don't want to leave as I love her, like you said ill have to deal with it :(

Healthy relationships work on mutual understandings and compromise from both sides. Seems like you're the only one compromising and you're forcing yourself to do it, it's not even a natural compromise.

It's possible that this is the only issue that you have to deal with and maybe one day you can overcome it. But in the future, how often do you plan to be the only one compromising?

Sometimes love isn't enough to stay in a relationship. You also need to have compatibility. It doesn't seem like you see things on the same page.

If you truly do trust her, then what's the issue? Is your girlfriend and her friend just "school friends/buddies" or are you worrying that the other girl who shares her bed will force her into a relationship she doesn't want?

If this is a mutually exclusive relationship, and you trust her (as you said) then its on you to accept or reject her behavior. She seems unwilling to change what she has been doing, and she probably has been doing it before she met you.

I would be uncomfortable also to be fair. And this would stretch my boundaries of good behavior, and trust, with someone I was exclusive with.

Her being honest about it wouldn't console me either, so I guess you have a decision to make. Whether you really trust her, or not, or is this LDR worth worrying about.

Can I ask how old you are?
And how often do you see each other?
I don't see why you should have to make a compromise that is clearly making you feel insecure and worried.

I,too,would think it strange if my S O shared a bed with their friends.

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Originally Posted by amicon

Can I ask how old you are?
And how often do you see each other?
I dont see why you should have to make a compromise that is clearly making you feel insecure and worried.

I,too,would think it strange if my S O shared a bed with their friends.

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I'm 18 she's 17 see each other every weekend as much as possible

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Devorameira

If you truly do trust her, then what's the issue? Is your girlfriend and her friend just "school friends/buddies" or are you worrying that the other girl who shares her bed will force her into a relationship she doesn't want?

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They have experimented with each other in the past, plays on my mind

I'm not surprised it plays on your mind.
You cant,of course,force anyone to change their behaviour,you can only decide how you are going to handle it.

When there are trust and communication issues in a relationship,and one partner isn't willing to work to resolve the same,your relationship is in trouble.