Threads merged.

Married for over 30 yrs. My husband for the past 3 yrs has started to cuss me out
Yell, push me down. He disrespects me in front of the neighbors, h depot,out at
Restaurants. Am I just a big baby wanting someone that doesn't yell, cuss and down
Out disrespects me all day long. Do I need to hit the road?

My husband took all his/our savings and retirement put it into accounts with his name
Only. I have my name on nothing. She I get a lawyer? I can't buy a bus ticket out of town.

My husband has bought 4 video cameras. Installed them in the house. One in the garage.
I can't go out onto the patio, or front or get the mail without being on his computer and recorded on his cameras. I feel this is a violation of my personal privacy. Am I over reacting?

My husband has been drinking 3 drinks a day 7 days a week for over 4 years now.
I think he drinks too much. He claims I'm trying to control him. Am I just an old lemon?
He acts so disrespectful and mean by 4pm everyday. He starts drinking at 2pm now.
Does he have a problem? Or do I? Porno addiction? If someone is on the computer
For over 3 hrs a day watching and stalking porno sites, 7 days a week for 25 yrs
I think they have a problem. How to stop them? Or am I just to controlling?

No, you aren't over reacting. What is his purpose in doing this? There is more to your story and no harm in telling it here.

Tick

Even if he was the only one working outside the home, savings and retirement is marital property in most states in the U.S. so have your lawyer take care of it to ensure you get your fair share.

It's hard to say what he's trying to pull, but I'd stay one step in front of him. He thinks he's being sneaky, so IF you'd happen to file for divorce, I'd not only want half of everything, but I'd also ask for spousal support just to tick him off. Good luck!

Ok, after you have taken the cameras down, or knocked them down with a bat, then you figure what you are going to do.

There are shelters go to one, get legal aid and file for divorce


It is a problem if it controls their life, even if it is 30 min a day, so if they can't stop and it controls how they live, it is a problem

I would pay a visit to the bank, and get statements on all the accounts, up to and including the day he moved the money out.

Open up your own account, and start socking money away.

Get three realtors over for an assessment of the house value.

Visit a lawyer and see what you are entitled to.

Take pictures of the cameras, and buy a notebook. Detail everything and anything that he is doing, paying particular attention to times and dates.

If the two of you still have joint credit cards, or a line of credit, cancel them immediately, and get a reference number to confirm.

Record any and all assets. Take pictures of everything in your house, get a hard copy of same, and a CD made (Walmart does this cheap).

Buy a firesafe box. Lock up your notes, papers, reference numbers and paperwork, pictures, CD's etc. Keep the box locked, and at a trusted friend's house.

Check your insurance carriers and make sure your house/car/life insurance is paid and up to date.

Your husband sounds like he's up to something to me. The cameras are there to intimidate you, or he would have installed pinhole sized ones you would never have been aware of.

You might want to check your car for hidden GPS devices too.

What this is all leading up to is anybody's guess. Be aware, active, and in control of your own life, and your own rights and obligations, and be prepared with good legal advice, good notes, and positive steps to secure your assets.

See a lawyer, and get your rights, and a strategy to protect yourself. Whether he has a problem or not, he is out of control and that is a problem for you.

Can I ask how your husband used to be and how old he is? This isn't normal behaviour - can you speak to his doctor about it? Your husband definitely is the one with problems, the only question is exactly what they are...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

See a lawyer, and get your rights, and a strategy to protect yourself. Whether he has a problem or not, he is out of control and that is a problem for you.

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Where alcohol is involved, all lines are crossed. He is a drinker, she is not safe because he doesn't think straight when he is drinking.

Tick

Hi Jake, according to the OP, her husband drinks 3 a day all the time, and that's only what she sees, I guess. I have a family member who is alcoholic and I know for sure that it is a roller coaster ride being around them when they have had too much; what a bloody awful ride it is too !

Tick

I would imagine that there is more alcohol involved than just "three drinks". Maybe that's all that he lets you see him drink.

Do this one thing. Imagine that you are standing inside of a hula hoop, that is lying on the floor. YOU are responsible for everything inside that circle. Nothing else. Now, step out of the circle, and make arrangements to leave. Jake has given you a step by step mission. Are you willing to make a change?

Behavior like his hardly ever gets better before it gets worse.

No matter what he is going through, or how you act, there is never a reason for him to hit you.

I wish you the best.