Ask Me Help Desk - Want to be pregnant

So I'm 21 and enjoying being able to stay out late and be drunk; eat dennys at 3 in the morning and not remember the night before, but I want a baby. Really bad, like I want to experience being pregnant, being a mother and being a family. My boyfriend used to like that fact but now he doesn't, and right now I'm getting nervous that he can't even have one, because I was off the pill before for like 6 months and nothing happened,

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Originally Posted by degoqueen

So im 21 and enjoying being able to stay out late and be drunk; eat dennys at 3 in the morning and not remember the night before, but i want a baby. really bad, like i want to experiance being pregnant, being a mother and being a family. my boyfriend used to like that fact but now he doesnt, and right now im getting nervous that he can't even have one, because i was off the pill before for like 6 months and nothing happened,

First off... here is a key word... BOYFRIEND... not husband.

He knows he is going to be on the hook to support it for at least 18 years if he marries you or not.

At 21 you have a lot of years to have one. And based on your party comments... you really aren't ready to have a kid yet. It's a lifelong commitment. Not a spur of the moment decision like "I want some good Bar-B-Que really bad".

Worry about finding that Husband you want as a life partner before you start thinking about kids.

And it sounds like you are trying to sucker him into having one without his agreement. Based on how you worded your question.

Accidents happen... but not if you lie abiout being on birth control to him. That's deception. I do recommend taking a step back and thinkjing how you would feel if some guy used a condom he poked holes in knowing he wanted to make you pregnant even if you didn't want it? Its really no different.

I didn't try to sucker him, he knew I was off the pill, and yes I love to party but obviously I would not go out if I was pregnant, and I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years, and I just don't want to wait until I'm 30 and have a kid

You really need to get the partying out of your system BEFORE you have ANY kids... alcohol or drugs in a pregnancy WILL cause serious problems for the baby . ANd even after while breastfeeding) because your days of partying will be over. It won't be ME ME ME any more... that baby will consume your life.

Like I said... you are in way too much of a rush here... the kid needs a dad... not someone who mails a check every month if you are lucky to get him to do that.

Find a husband first... otherwise you will be just another unwed mom working at whatever job you can find trying to raise a kid in poverty.

Kids are expensive... and you will not be able to do what you want any longer... you will do what you have to just to make ends meet.

And think back to what your words were "I WANT"... think about it, it should be "WE WANT".

I believe having a baby is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and my husband, I am also 21 and we were not married when I got pregnant, but had been together for 5 years, I suggest you set down with your man and talk to him about this situation, see how he feels about it too because if he is not ready then you really shouldn't proceed, it will only drive him away I'm afraid. As for the whole parting thing, that I'm sure you know is out the window, if you guys deciede this is the right thing for both of you then you have to take better care of yourself which means vitamins, more sleep, no drinking specailly once you are pregnant. Your parting live will have to end, and as for your worry about not being able to become pregnant, see your doc, and start taking care of your body, I'm not saying you don't, I'm just saying if you want to get pregnant then you have to prepare your body for it, I hope all works out for you!

You don't sound ready for a baby.