Hey folks,

So I'm two months into a very strange relationship which is completely new to me and I want some objective advice. It is insanely complicated. Basically I friended a cute girl and after a month we started dating, I knew from pretty much the first week that we met that she had bipolar disorder and very low self esteem, but I have a best friend who had bipolar disorder so I try to stay open minded.

The thing that bothers me is she actively seeks out the friendship of her ex- boyfriends constantly. Like one sent her an email last week telling her to leave him alone and never talk to her again and she was crushed. She tells me growing up she never really had friends, and until college its my understanding she really didn't. I'm really not used to this, I have a pretty good circle of close friends, and I know if I told them this they'd tell me to leave. I trust her 100% but the situation in general is weird. It also doesn't help that a day doesn't go by that she doesn't talk about one of her ex's. It's hard for me to relate because I don't live in the past. I just really want to know is this common? I've never dealt with this before, I'm definitely in love with this girl, and she has amazing traits. But there's a few quirks that I've never experienced before that throw me aloof.

Sorry for the wall of text, thanks for reading folks! Appreciate any feedback good or bad.

Have you had a proper discussion with her about your feelings?

Generally speaking,exes are in the past,so why not make friends in the present?

I talked with her tonight about it, she said she will stop mentioning (not friendly pursuing however) her ex's so much. When I confront her about pursuing them as friends she quotes me saying I'd be her friend if we ever broke up, then accusing me of lying about that. She has some mild obsession with being friends with them, and anyone else who didn't like her when she was off her meds. Like she has something to prove, I don't know.

Yes ,I guess you could be right about that.
She's seeking acceptance.
Is she in therapy?

I agree with amicon, she is insecure so she is going to seek any type of acceptance from people that have rejected her in life before, she feels that if she can get them to like her again(just as friends) then she is accepted.

Hard to have a healthy relationship with someone who may not be that healthy themselves.

After only a few months, these issues your seeing will only get worse so be careful guy, as you may want to be there and be helpful, but you may not be qualified to know how to help, I hope that makes sense.

It may be doing more harm than good, staying with someone who has such a different view of life, and reality, than you do.

Take it from someone who has dated such females, short term things are manageable, but long term, it gets wacky.

Encourage her to stay on her meds.