It has been 3 yrs of my marriage. Have my 2yrs old son. Most of the time I remain frustrated and jealous of my husband because he always remains so cool about things. Every time I have to leave house for 2 3 days I find him so happy that makes me so very much jealous.When he has to leave town he start planning for it very excitingly (even if that trip is a very boring and hectic one). It is me who remains jealous & frustrated (whether in the house or outside. I have centralised all my joys around him. I know he love me & cares for me but then why is he so happy or cool about going away from me. I try to control my emotions but I am unable to curb my anger.

You need to tell him how you feel.
Have a calm,adult conversation about it.

It seems you have low selfesteem,have you considered seeing a therapist?

Is it possible that he's just always in a good mood?

I can't see what it would accomplish for you to make you hubby jealous... am I missing something?

Why should he get angry? He has a wife who loves him, a baby boy, what sounds like a fulfilling job, travelling so he can come home or just being at home. Should he worry and complain, or do you do the worrying?

Does he show his emotions strongly at all? Many men do not. They think it is more manly to bear up under great emotions, either happiness or sadness, with little outward signs.

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Originally Posted by monica1972

i have centralised all my joys around him. I know he love me & cares for me but then why is he so happy or cool about going away from me. I try to control my emotions but i am unable to curb my anger.

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I get the feeling that you have some fears and insecurities. Are you afraid that he seems so happy and cool because he could have something else going on?

He may be hiding his true feelings. He may be trying to protect you and your son from feeling the unhappiness that he he feels. Would it really be better for your son to see his father angry and upset about leaving home or worried about what you might be doing when you aren't home?

I am going to suggest that you look into counseling for yourself (at this time). I think you need to work with someone on anger management before your son is adversely affected (if he isn't already) by how you are handling your emotions.

Later, when you have more control and understanding of what is driving your feelings, I think you need to see a marriage counselor and discuss your feelings with a neutral party as the mediator. It will help keep the discussion from becoming an argument or a fight. It will also give both of you a chance to talk and listen to what the other person thinks and feels.

You said that you want to make him jealous, and you are angry because he's so cool and happy. You can't control your anger toward him, and you are frustrated and jealous of him.

Well, at least you're honest.

That you want to have him feel as miserable as you, is very petty and immature. You see him in this light you have explained, regardless if he's home, or he's going on a trip, or you're heading out yourself. So, he's a nice guy most of the time, and that makes you angry.

I suggest that this has far more to do his demeanor, and far more to do with your own insecurities. What is eating at you that you would attempt to make your husband as miserable as you are.

There has to be more to this. Do you feel trapped, unloved, unappreciated? Is there another man in the picture? Do you feel overwhelmed, depressed or anxious? What other things are going on in your life that you feel you need to direct anger toward your husband.

So he's happy when you're going away.

It could be just that he's a happy guy... or it could be that you're such a pain in the bum that he's delighted to have some time to himself.

Your husband is 'cool' - have you considered that perhaps this is his response to your jealousy and frustration?

Granted, it's not easy living with someone that's cool - it creates distance. But, hey, I bet it's not that pleasant living with someone full of resentment and dissatisfaction either.

Talk to him about it, or better still, get some help. Your feelings may end up destroying your marriage.

I agree with all of the posts here,not much more to add,but have you considered trying to take a different view of the situation.

Your husband going on a business trip,excited and happy for the new adventure,makes him a better husband,he has time on his own,a little 'freedom' and some 'me time'.

And on the other hand,its also gives you the same thing... time on your own,stretch out in the bed,a quite evening when the baby is asleep,you could read,or paint, or have a girlfriend over for a chat.

Even the most secure/loving and committed partners NEED their own time and space away from each other...

I would think that the time away would inject new conversations when you see each other again,and of course the joy of being together again.