Ask Me Help Desk - I'm completely lost

Hi,I just recently got married and I'm for some reason I just lie to my husband about things,I don't know why I do it at all and I don't realize that I did anything wrong till we get into an argument, I promise not to lie again but I still keep going and it made a huge problem for me today,I just can't help it, I mean I lie so I don't tell the truth because either one is the same... I hope he won't find out but he always does... im not faking anything I just think I need help before I lose him... what do you guys think I should do?

You need some professional help here to uncover why you are repeatedly lying and how to break yourself of this. Do you have this problem in other areas, with other people - such as friends, co workers, etc? Is this a recent problem?

I would say if you feel the need to lie to your husband, then you are in the wrong relationship. I do not know how patient he is but most husbands are not going to tolerate their spouse lying over and over again. Think of the trust and reliability issues that you two already have.

If you have a history of lying to people, then you have a pathology of lying. It can be broken but you really need some professional help. Hope you seek that assistance.

This is as big an issue as you think it is.

Have you always done this? With other people also?

Can you give an example of how this has happened or involving what? Is it stuff like saying you paid a bill when you didn't? Is it leaving out details and facts or are you making up stories?

A little more clarification could help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shygrneyzs

You need some professional help here to uncover why you are repeatedly lying and how to break yourself of this. Do you have this problem in other areas, with other people - such as friends, co workers, etc? Is this a recent problem?

I would say if you feel the need to lie to your husband, then you are in the wrong relationship. I do not know how patient he is but most husbands are not going to tolerate their spouse lying over and over again. Think of the trust and reliability issues that you two already have.

If you have a history of lying to people, then you have a pathology of lying. It can be broken but you really need some professional help. Hope you seek that assistance.

Thanks a lot for your help,I admit that I have that problem I just don't know how to make it end and so I just keep on lying,thanks for commenting you're guidance helps me...

What kind of lies do you tell, are they minor things that you say just so that you will have something to say in a conversation? Or are they lies like cheating on him? If they are the small lies I have an idea for you, the next time that you are talking and you are about to tell a lie, stop and ask yourself "Do I need to say this, is it going to make me seem smarter, is it going to win me more friends" or ask yourself Am I going to hate saying what I am about to say, will my husband be mad, will my husband or friends know that I al lying and just go along not to embarrass me". If you will do that then by the time you have thought all these things over it is to late to make the comments anyway and you won't have to lie. What I am actually saying is think about what you are about to say before you say it. Lot's of us tell gossip for this same reason.

Why do you feel the need to do it?
This is rather serious.

Have you consider seeking help from a physcologist?

Quote:

Originally Posted by missing him

hi,i just recently got married and im for some reason i just lie to my husband about things,i dont know why i do it at all and i dont realize that i did anything wrong till we get into an argument, i promise not to lie again but i still keep going and it made a huge problem for me today,i just can't help it, i mean i lie so i dont tell the truth because either one is the same....i hope he wont find out but he always does...im not faking anything i just think i need help before i lose him...what do you guys think i should do?

Do you fear your husband? Is that why you lie? If not, then you don't have any reason to lie to him and also if you are not doing anything wrong so that need to lie, then don't do it. Unless you are afraid of him and he hits you or abuses you, then you have no reason to lie to him. If he does hit or abuse you, then you need to get out of the relationship now before it gets serious and he really hurts you bad or even kills you.