I have this friend, and anytime I am around him he tells me I am a tease and a flirt... I don't try to be, nor do I want to be... I am just a nice person to him... I draw on his hand *Its really cool stars*, I stick up for him, He is insecure so I try to help him out with that, I am a goof-off and stuff like that, Im just a happy person when I'm around him, and I smile a lot... But he tells me when I do these things Im "flirting"... I do it to ALL my friends, even the girls... I don't want to be a flirt around the guy friends that I have... I just be myself and try to have fun... Anytime I'm around new people they also think I'm flirting... What should I do?. Should I just tell them that I want a friendship, rather than a relationship?. How do I "not flirt"?. Please any suggestions will help, thanks;)!

Hi, Lexilulu!

It seems to me, that you're a very friendly person who likes to be open and have fun with and get close to people. There's nothing wrong with that, but not everyone is comfortable around people who are like that. I'm the same way, as far as making friends and being around people.

What do you think that you do that might cause others to think that you are "flirting", please?

Thanks!

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Originally Posted by Clough

Hi, Lexilulu!

It seems to me, that you're a very friendly person who likes to be open and have fun with and get close to people. There's nothing wrong with that, but not everyone is comfortable around people who are like that. I'm the same way, as far as making friends and being around people.

What do you think that you do that might cause others to think that you are "flirting", please?

Thanks!

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I smile constantly around him, I laugh at all his jokes, I'm always grabbing his hand to write on it, Whenever he tells me something serious I'll put my hand on his shoulder and talk to him, I always want to be around him *Im homeschooled so I want to be around everyone and get out of the house*, I have to have eye contact whenever I talk to someone, I'll make facial expressions that he tells me is cute *really stupid facial expressions actually, hahaha* I never ignore anyone I always talk when they say something to me, and I just try to live life and have fun with the people around me...

To be perfectly honest... most guys will see just about anything as flirting if they want to.

But touching the hands and drawing on a person can definitely be perceived as flirting. Putting your hand on his shoulder can also be seen this way.

It sounds to me though that this guy might actually have a crush on you. I get this since he points out that you make cute faces and that he is calling you out on your flirting. And it doesn't sound like he's asking you to stop. Haha.

He does like me, he told me he does... I told him that I don't like him that way, and he says I'm 1.being a tease and 2.Playing hard to get... But I am just being myself, most of my actions are picked up from my other friends... When I draw on his hands, I picked that up from one friend of mine, and I always thought it was harmless and fun... And my cousin tought me to make eye contact and physical contact when he tells me something in cofidence or something is wrong, so he will trust me and that I show I will be there for him... My whole family is a group of dorks, and we embrace it... so when I be myself he thinks I'm trying to act cute, but I can't help it, I'm just a real goof;)... hahaha

Maybe to your family it is considered to being there but to boy's that are not part of your family they will probably take it as flirting there are other ways to be there for him as a friend.

What ways??

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Originally Posted by Lexilulu

What ways???

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You can listen to him without touching him. Try not to invade his "personal bubble" essentially. The hard part is finding out what size "bubble" he has. Some people have no bubble, others have a large one.

I can easily take myself as an example. If you are less than a foot away from me I can be a little uncomfortable. I only like a few people coming closer than that.

So basically you can do all the same things you have been doing, but I would scratch the touching and drawing on his hands. I would also make sure to be very blunt with him if he brings this up again. While keeping reasonable, be very clear that you see him as only a friend. I would simply state something along the lines of, "I know I am a flirtatious person sometimes, but I am not playing hard-to-get, I am not a tease, I honestly see you as just a friend and nothing more."