I've been married for 20 years. Sex with my husband has always been bad. He has never been able to turn me on. There were no passion, no desire on my part and it always hurt. I've tried explaining to him that women are different from men, that it takes us longer to get excited, but he thinks he is so good in bed and he doesn't need my advice. Finally I gave up, but now I'm thinking, maybe, I should divorce him.

How is the rest of your marriage? Have you guys tried any sort of therapy?
What Is Sex Therapy - Description of Sex Therapy Practice
Here's an article I hope you might find interesting.

You need professional help.
For an understanding of him, go to YouTube and look up Mark Gunger.

You know how you make him understand that he sucks in bed?

Don't let him between your legs with his penis until he is FIRST there with his face. And maybe his fingers.

A SINCERE effort to turn you on and please you should be made before he gets ANYTHING.

Otherwise, you can buy him a doll and let him know that SHE won't be hurt, upset, or missing out if he does his "Wham, Bam, Snore" routine.

I also have been married to my wife for almost 20 years. Even though she is the one that is usually happy, at the end of a romantic moment, I am the one left feeling as you.
The price you pay when you marry a woman who thinks sex is mostly for pro creating.
Only I knew what I was getting my selef into before saying " I do ". This does not mean I love her any less. Only means I love the moments we do share. The things we have built togather over the years we have been togather. The fun times. All the times she has been there for me when I needed her or support.
There is way more to a loveing relationship than good or bad sex.

321543, do you have anything to add to this discussion? Or is iiii over and over again supposed to mean something?


Edit: never mind. The first time all I saw on your post was iiiiii iiiiii iiiiii. Now I see you have a real post.

Thank you, Synnen for your post. It didn't work, though. I haven't had sex with my husband in over 3 years. He didn't get the message.

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Originally Posted by Unhappy in bed

Thank you, Synnen for your post. It didn't work, though. I haven't had sex with my husband in over 3 years. He didn't get the message.

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This is probably not grounds for divorce, however his getting the idea that he's that good, and where he got the idea, might be.

I don't know if it's a reason for divorces but I think sex is very important in a marriage, You need to make him or her understand your needs to.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Unhappy in bed

Thank you, Synnen for your post. It didn't work, though. I haven't had sex with my husband in over 3 years. He didn't get the message.

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Well... I have known people to come back after a drought that long. A question I would have is how he is dealing with the no-nookie situation? Has he been making advances continuously for the lest three years?

You're obviously sexually fustrated, but is he still? I think Sex Counselling is a good idea.

Is this grounds for a Divorce? Irreconcilable differences if you had to explain it. Only you can answer the question of if the divorce would be worth it. It What do you have to lose? Friends, family, assets, security, companionship just to mention a few. I am a divorcée and I can tell you that it isn't a pleasant process, and shouldn't be entered into lightly.

We can only show you the paths, you have figure out which road is right for you.

My point is quite clear. l
Love over comes all things. If one is willing to put their own personal opinions aside and accept the feelings and respect and understand their partners feelings.
Which is often called personal sacrifice.
I know my wife has made many sacrafices for me through out our marriage. We have growen as well as learned and cried togather. Is this not what partners do for each other?