Hi,

I am married with my husband since last 4 years.My husband tries to put me down from the very beginning.He is making fun of my english every time.He tries to make me feel that I am unsmart and came from a lower family.I am a software Engineer.He tries to control me according to his wish in almost everything like shopping,cooking,house cleaning,how to talk to his friends and his family,how to walk,how to talk,how to sit.. etc.. etc.. Also he controls me whether and when I should go to my own parents place.. how many times I should call them.. etc.. He is very short tempered and gets mad when he becomes angry.He shouts very loudly,he throws things,he tries to threaten me and abuse me and my family a lot in anger and I get very scared so try to calm him down.He always blames me for his mad behaviour.I never get a chance to tell him that he was doing wrong because whenever I start telling him then he starts shouting again.He is very close to his mother and always takes her favour no matter whatever she says about me.Whenever I want to say anything about his mom,he gets mad so I can't say a word about him and his family and he is always abusing me and my family.

Why do you stay.

Yes, your husband is abusive - in every way.

Please go on to the internet and look up 'abusive male behavior'. Abuse is used for control and abusers use shouting to intimidate and belittle their victims, just as you are being intimidated and belittled.

I am concerned that if you defy him or refuse to be controlled it may escalate into violence.

I would suggest that you see a counselor if you can. They will help you think things through and hopefully understand why you married this man. You need to decide if you want to stay or if your husband has the capacity to change.

Speak to your family and friends so that they know what is going on and know how you feel. Make sure you have a safety net if you need to leave.

Your husband is abusive.
Are you considering leaving him?