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-   -   How do I get her back? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=43945)

  • Nov 20, 2006, 02:10 PM
    sjb
    How do I get her back?
    What can I do to get her to believe (and I know deep down she does) that we are meant to be together? Who else would have us? What can I do to get her trust and respect forever?
  • Nov 20, 2006, 02:18 PM
    shygrneyzs
    Please give us an explanation of why she is not with you and does not trust you. This will provide some insight into your situation and what you may need to do, if you can. Thank you.
  • Nov 20, 2006, 11:19 PM
    Gangster1
    Give her some time to really think about what she really wants. I keep pushing her into coming back won't do anything good so just wait.
  • Nov 21, 2006, 02:01 AM
    Krs
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sjb
    What can I do to get her to believe (and I know deep down she does) that we are meant to be together? Who else would have us? What can I do to get her trust and respect forever?

    Please give us more info, on your relationship, what went wrong etc, why do she need to regain your trust and respect, what happened!
  • Nov 21, 2006, 07:17 PM
    sjb
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by shygrneyzs
    Please give us an explanation of why she is not with you and does not trust you. This will provide some insight into your situation and what you may need to do, if you can. Thank you.

    I was being idealist and wanting a generalized "magic bullet". I yelled at her and berated her and she was physical with me and I would respond and we drank and holes got punched in walls. She would overreact by telling everyone I did things to her that I didn't and say it was my fault just to get back at me. It was a shared problem. But her family and friends would get involved and it would make things worse because they only knew half of it and never would believe me. She would get the cops involved but I never got arrested. She would say that I did things to her but they knew better. Sometimes she would lie and accuse me of things I wasn't doing. Was it because we didn't have God in our life? Can it be fixed? How?
  • Nov 21, 2006, 08:13 PM
    AKaeTrue
    This does not sound like a "meant to be" relationship in any shape, form, or fashion - I'm sorry. It sounds like a very unhappy and unhealthy one.
    My advise to you would be to not pursue this girl.
  • Nov 22, 2006, 02:27 AM
    Krs
    As AkaeTrue said.. it absolutely sounds like its not meant to be.
    You've tried it, it didn't work. Hassles after hassles, you don't want that. It will just cause more problems and headache and very unhealthy and de-satisfying.
  • Nov 24, 2006, 02:11 PM
    shygrneyzs
    I'm with Krs and AKaeTrue on this. I hope you not get involved in another relationship until you have come to terms with your anger. History does have a way of repeating itself. There are resources out there that can help you identify your anger and it's sources, as well as helping you find alternative solutions to working through anger. It is important to know anger just does not go away.

    To answer your question "Was it because we didn't have God in our life"... I have seen far too many people who claimed to have God in their life who have problems controlling their anger and responses to anger. Everyone has a trigger point - what makes one different is what they do about it. I do believe that a strong, solid faith in God does give a person a better outlook or perspective or however you want to look at it. But it is not automatice either - has to be a conscious decision to live the way your faith teaches.

    I do truly hope you can overcome this battle with anger and rage and hitting. Here is something to get you started:

    http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/tea...ing_anger.aspx
  • Feb 17, 2007, 12:40 PM
    glenn yankwitt
    The faster you realize that you are not getting back together the better off you will feel. It hurts a lot, but it is only temporary.

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