She lost that loving feeling, Help is needed
My wife of eight years is my world. My questions will be how do I regain intimacy in my relationship? Now for more information on our present circumstances. About three years ago I gained a HIGH STRESSED, HIGH DEMANDING corporate job. It was expected to stay out late working, go for drinks after work which took a toll on me. I became an alcoholic and for about a year drank at night after everyone went to sleep and most of the time passed out on the couch. My wife cried at night feeling abandoned. I did not know this since she NEVER told me until about seven months ago. She thought I was cheating on her as well with both men and women. I NEVER cheated on her especially with men. A gap grew between us and sex diminished from once a week to once every other month, if lucky. Well July 3, 2009 came and she said she want a divorce. I was shocked and devastated. Just to let you know I stopped drinking a month before then and started to sleep in the same bed again. I never saw that coming. Well I fought tooth and nail, positively most of the time. There were times that frustration, depression and loneliness overtook my emotions and said dumb hurtful things that I regret beyond words. A week before this past new years I asked her to make up her mind if she wanted to stay or leave. Before then we slept in the same bed, done things as parents but she kept me out from intimacy, letting me date her, going to functions together to include a couples Christmas event that she went to. Well New Years came 1200am happy 2010 she turned to me told me she loves me and kissed me. She said she wants to work it out. I was HAPPPPPPY. Now, its Jan 23, 2010 and since then she has not reached to hold my hand, given me a hug, told me that she loves me or any attempt on her part to be intimate. I don’t expect wam bam thank you mam. Just some sort of attempt to connect and grow our marriage. She has allowed me to give her pecks on the mouth but even then, I feel that she cringes; in one case instead of puckering up, she retracted her lips. I need advice on how to regain that loving feeling, she said she is not ready but don’t know what that really means. If you love someone I believe that you share everything. I understand if she is not ready for lovemaking but holding my hand, cuddling. Even when you start dating, by the second date you normally hold hands. If it takes her one month to hold my hand how long will it take to progress. Any help is appreciated. Sorry for the long story.