So, I'm just curious and well, a bit clueless about dating and the whole sex thing. I haven't dated many people because I had a boyfriend for over 4 years, and he was also my only sexual partner. Well that little fairy tale ended a few months ago (thank goodness!) and frankly the single life, which I was terrified of, has been great!

Since our breakup, I've gotten quite a bit of unexpected male attention. But it's like I don't know what to do/how to act around these guys. I feel as if I'm 15 years old again! I've been out of the game for so long that I'm not sure of what "today's" standards of dating and sex are!

So here are my questions (I'm sorry if some of them sound ridiculous):
-I'm not exactly looking for another relationship right now, but is it normal to date, or go on dates with multiple guys without being a girlfriend?
-How do you go from having sex whenever you want to never having sex? That part is just a pain in my because I don't really care for masturbation.
-I'm not a slut, but what is all this casual sex business and friends with benefits? Is that something that society now accepts? Or is it trashy?
-If you really start to care for someone, how long do you wait to have sex (in generel)?
-And for the hair down there :D do guys really want it bare? (sweet rhyme lol)

Thanks for your replies!
Oh and before anyone asks, I'm 22.

1. Is it normal to date, or go on dates with multiple guys without being a girlfriend?
YES
2. How do you go from having sex whenever you want to never having sex?
READ LOTS OF BOOKS TO KILL TIME
3. Casual sex business and friends with benefits?
STUPID
4. If you really start to care for someone, how long do you wait to have sex (in general)?
AFTER MARRIAGE
5. Do guys really want it bare?
NO

1. Is it normal to date, or go on dates with multiple guys without being a girlfriend?

Yep, it's great way to get a sense of what guys are like and more importantly, what you like.

2. How do you go from having sex whenever you want to never having sex?

Learn to like masturbation - it's actually quite cathartic sometimes. Alternatively, join the gym.

3. Casual sex business and friends with benefits?

Um, too fraught with emotional danger. Nope, I would avoid it.

4. If you really start to care for someone, how long do you wait to have sex (in general)?

It depends, but it's best to wait until it feels right. Never do it too soon.

5. Do guys really want it bare?

Yep, I reckon they do. Not so bare it's scratchy though.

1. Perfectly acceptable but not obligatory. Date if you want to not if you don't.
2. Do whatever makes you happy in your own company whether that includes masturbation or not.
3. No-one will stone you as a pariah for having casual sex but only you know if you would feel comforable with it. Think through the possible ramifications of how a relationship will change if you have sex with a friend and it goes wrong though.
4. When it feels right it is right - but when it feels right in your head and heart as well as your loins.
5. No idea. Personal preferance I guess. Wear it how you like it and if a special guy comes along and you want to wear it to please him then fair enough.

1. Sure why not. As long as its not an understanding that you guys are not seeing other people but I personally is a one man girl and I expect my girl to be the same during dating.

2. You do the other things that you got to do in life like career, hobbies, etc. You won't die without sex.

3. Friends with benefit is great to satisfy one's needs but once feelings start to attach, it is a sign to end it.

4. You will wait forever if you have to.

5. HELLS NO!

- Is it normal to date, or go on dates with multiple guys without being a girlfriend?

Yes. But if you keep having dates with the same guy you should address the matter somehow, so that you're both on the same page.

- How do you go from having sex whenever you want to never having sex?
You concentrate on other things, masturbate, or get a new partner.

-I'm not a slut, but what is all this casual sex business and friends with benefits? Is that something that society now accepts? Or is it trashy?

It depends on the circles you move in; what do your friends and family, classmates or coworkers think? In general I would say yes, society does accept this. But friends with benefits can become complicated, and one-night stands can be unfulfilling, and some people do find them trashy. You have to strike a balance somehow.

-If you really start to care for someone, how long do you wait to have sex (in generel)?

There is no standard waiting period, but for some reason 'one month' comes to mind, I guess it's the most commonly mentioned period.

-And for the hair down there do guys really want it bare?

It's not a necessary prerequisite for a vast majority of guys, but many do find it appealing.

I'm a guy, married for a long long time. My answers are from the male perspective so take your grain of salt now.

1. Yes, date. Hanging out with a group usually keeps the conversations a little casual. One on one can give more insight into him and you.

2. If you don't masturbate a lot then there's a problem.

3. Friends with benefits is a possible solution to #2. "Society" really doesn't have much of a right to an opinion. More than one "friend" is a little trashy, yeah.

4. Don't rush into sex. Let your relationship grow at its own pace. Even in this day and age it's a big step.

5. By the time anybody has a chance to form an opinion, you probably have already had that discussion. Personally I think it tastes better without the fuzz.

4.

3. Casual sex business and friends with benefits?

Um, too fraught with emotional danger. Nope, I would avoid it.

I can tell you from very recent personal experience this can be very emotional-negatively, especially if you actually like the friend you are having benefits with. We know women for the most part are emotionally attached to sex. Read my posts under dating -beware of the player. I've had to remove him off IM'ing and FB, cause it's too easy to lurk, I think he's lurking and I know I have been. Don't get caught up in it, not with friends anyway. I've been talking to a different guy friend lately, he is a player too, you gain good insight into all this stuff. It's really scary!

Frankly, I'm of the opinion that sex outside of a solid relationship is just STUPID.

What happens if you get a disease or pregnant from a casual sexual encounter? That person certainly isn't going to stick around to help you!

Learn to like masturbation, imo.

Another male perspective, just to pollute the topic. ;)

-I'm not exactly looking for another relationship right now, but is it normal to date, or go on dates with multiple guys without being a girlfriend?
Yes, it is called casual dating. It is sort of like going dress shopping, you will trying many different dresses(read men) before you find the right one.

-How do you go from having sex whenever you want to never having sex? That part is just a pain in my because I don't really care for masturbation.
Have a vibrator? Dildo? Other sex toys. Experiment with them and a touch of fantasy. The other question is whether you need it or just perceive that you need it.

-I'm not a slut, but what is all this casual sex business and friends with benefits? Is that something that society now accepts? Or is it trashy?
A man you needs a calculator to count his exploits is called a Stud but a woman who does the same is called a slut. Does that seem right to you? Regardless, casual sex can work but you will just be doing the physical act of it. You probably won't get the emotional connection that, in my humble experience, turns good sex into great sex. That being said, a person sexual background is becoming less and less important to mature adults. FWB can be enough to scratch that itch but, as been stated several times here, beware emotional attachment. FWB often ends in tears.

-If you really start to care for someone, how long do you wait to have sex (in generel)?
Depends on what you agree on and what you talk about. It could be a matter of hours for a quick shag, or many months depending. It is what you feel comfortable with and what your partner feels comfortable with. Also, being inebriated doesn't help in this decision making process. Just saying, not meaning to imply anything.

-And for the hair down there :D do guys really want it bare? (sweet rhyme lol)
Depends on the guy and the mood. I don't mind it bare, though with my bear, I might give her a little rug burn. I also don't mind a full bush. It is all about what you want in the end because most guys are just happy to be graced by your naughty bits. If your fellow gets pissy about it, suggest he does the same to himself.

Hope that gives a little perspective.

Cheers,
Craven