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-   -   My boyfriend wants to clear his mind (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=438304)

  • Jan 23, 2010, 04:17 PM
    hello2121
    My boyfriend wants to clear his mind
    January 30th would have been our 3rd month.. I really love him with all my heart. He was dateing a girl before me for 1 year and they broke up back in April. He told me he was completely over her and that he loved me... we had sex 3 times and I feel that got us even closer.
    So this past week is when things got rough... I noticed he was acting strange, not talkingto me as much, not always saying "Ilove u" and saying "I'm sleepy" at 10:00 pm... I knew something was up... I figured he was still talking to his ex and I found out he was... he text msged me last night saying.. "I truly feel bad about everything that has unfolded. Truth is i dont know wht im even thinking my mind is working in 2 ways You probably dont wana hear any of this, But i can't go on without even giving u an apolgy . Ur an amazing person truthfully, but i dunno if i was ever ready for a relationship. Dont be so hard on yurself u did nothing wrong in this situation. I think im just at a point where i shouldnt be talking to any girl . I never had bad intentions with u. I thought moving on with u would help me forget about my past , but it only made me realize i wass missing aspects of my previous relationship."

    After that he called me and we talked for 2 hours about how he just needs to clear his head. I feel like he wants to chose me or her... I love him so much and I don't know what I will do without him... Can somebody please tell me what they think? Will he come back to me? Or will he want to be with her again.. even though they always fight (AND she lives in a different city)? I am really confused and heartbroken... And does anyone have suggestion as to what I should do? Stop texting/calling and emailing him?
    Thanks
  • Jan 23, 2010, 04:42 PM
    Jake2008
    Think of this as a blessing in disguise. If he doesn't know what (or who) he wants, and he's being honest with you about it early in the relationship, then just give him the time he needs. It isn't a given that 'x' amount of time will heal a broken heart from a past relationship, and he probably thought he was ready.

    You are far better off with a man who is sure, and who is totally over a past relationship, and ready to give you 100%. Him wondering and being unsure puts him in the position of doubt, and that would cloud all the time you are together.

    If he chooses you, he sounds like the type of person that will be sure of what he's doing before he does it. Time, space, and patience are your best options. Any pressure will likely just shut him down completely.
  • Jan 23, 2010, 10:50 PM
    jaime90

    It seems like you were a rebound, he was using you to get over a breakup. He says that he's not ready for a relationship and he's right. Save yourself more hurt and drama by letting him go. Don't text him or call him. Give him his space to move on, without getting your emotions involved in his situation with his ex.
  • Jan 24, 2010, 05:43 AM
    jfo

    Review the no contact rules. No text/email, delete contact. Kudos to him for being honest enough to tell you what's on his mind and where he's at. Heartbreaking, I know, when things are not going as we had hoped. If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was...

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