So my boyfriend is bisexual.
In the past he's dated guys and had sex with guys and you know... gave oral to guys.
I knew this but I just shrugged it off.
I don't mind that he's bi. That doesn't phase me at all.
My friend, who is a male, was talking to my boyfriend and in confidentiality he ( my boyfriend) Told mike that he misses erm... giving oral and being with another man.

It upset me, and my friend told me. He was saying that it was eating at him.
When I started crying he said he didn't think I'd react like that.
Am I seriously the only woman who gets upset over the fact that my boyfriend misses having sex with men?
I mean I know its not me, and I assume he loves me, he shows it a lot... it's just unsettling.

Im sure plenty of people will tell me to suck it up butter cup, but am I really the only girl who gets upset about this stuff? :\

It absolutely is unsettling! To say the least! :eek:

I am bi and when I am in a relationship, the other sex has not really entered my head, other than 'Hey, they're cute... '

I think you need to sit down with your boyfriend and have a chat about this.

See if you can really be in a relationship with this man. He may be faithful but it would be very hard for me to accept too, especially as he said it was 'eating at him'.

Thank god! I was afraid I'd have no reason.
I shouldve mad it clearer, Mike ( my friend) said it was eating him. Not my boyfriend. Mike said it had been eating at him(mike) and he had to tell me.

Well you need to sit down with your boyfriend and find out exactly what he wants.

There is a possibility that he thought he was able for an exclusive relationship but finds he is not.

There could be the suggestion of an open relationship or introducing a man into your bedroom.

I only say this as possibilities. For me, and this is only me, I cannot share someone I am committed to in the bedroom, I have never tried it but for me it would just breed resentment and insecurities.

However, it is your decision whether you are able or willing.

Oh I could never share my boyfriend. I'm much too personal and in sync when with a partner. It'd only make me feel even worse if we brought another guy into the picture.

You need to sit down and find out exactly what is going on in his head.

How long have you been together?

What age are you both?

I'm 19 he's 18 we've been together for 5 months so..

I think he needs to explore his sexuality more before settling down. Being bi kind of puts you in 'no man's land' and it takes a bit of getting used to.

Neither the 'straights' nor the 'gays' deem you theirs! It's fierce lonely! ;) No but in all honesty, sit down with him and have a frank and honest discussion. Make sure that you make your opinions and thoughts known and give him the floor to be able to do the same.

I don't know if this is the answer you were looking for, but I hope it helps a bit.

I don't really think its any different than telling you he misses having sex with other women.

You have valid reason to be upset by hearing this. Even if he wasn't man enough to tell you directly... he had to have known if he was telling others it might still get back to you.

I don't see that as a Gay - BI - Straight issue. I see it as a maturity issue. And proof he isn't ready for an exclusive relationship with anyone.

There are some things you just don't say to others. Most guys anyway can honestly say that they have thought about having sex with others (of the gender of their preference).. even while perfectly happy with their partner/wife. But its rude to go around telling it to everyone.

I think there may be more going on than just the boyfriend telling the friend about his 'interests'. Be very careful that the friend isn't trying to fulfill his own agenda or he could have misunderstood what your boyfriend was trying to say.

Keep in mind that what was told to you may be taken totally out of context. If the discussion was about being bi and being in a monogamous relationship with one sex, I can see part of the talk going into what is different or 'missed' about being with the other sex. I have had those conversations with my bi friends. The 'confession' could simply have been something along the lines of, 'Yeah, I sometimes miss oral sex with guys. It is different with women, but you know, I really am satisfied being with Shelbey and what we have.'

When you talk with him, keep an open mind and try not to project your meanings into what he is saying. If you aren't sure what he means, ask him. Just because he misses something doesn't mean he wants it.

I agree with Cat, here.

I'm bi, and I've been married for 8 years, and with my husband for 13--and I STILL miss oral sex with women.

I've told my husband that occasionally in the last 13 years--but seriously, it's along the lines of "god, I miss living in Seattle because you could get fresh seafood whenever you wanted" or "Gee, I miss being able to get fresh flowers inexpensively like we did in Texas".

It means I MISS having sex with women. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be with my husband.

You can miss something without NEEDING it.

I'm frankly of the "get over yourself, buttercup" school here.

BUT--I can see how it would bother you. What bothers ME is that you haven't already asked your boyfriend about it, and had a calm, serious conversation about his sexuality, YOUR sexuality, and what you can do to keep lines of communication open with each other.

If you can't TALK about sex outside of the bedroom--and not just YOUR sex, but sexual situations and sexual history (without invading privacy--you don't need to know how many people he's had sex with, for instance), you shouldn't be HAVING sex with that person.

I agree with Cat, here.

I'm bi, and I've been married for 8 years, and with my husband for 13--and I STILL miss oral sex with women.

I've told my husband that occasionally in the last 13 years--but seriously, it's along the lines of "god, I miss living in Seattle because you could get fresh seafood whenever you wanted" or "Gee, I miss being able to get fresh flowers inexpensively like we did in Texas".

It means I MISS having sex with women. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be with my husband.

You can miss something without NEEDING it.

I'm frankly of the "get over yourself, buttercup" school here.

BUT--I can see how it would bother you. What bothers ME is that you haven't already asked your boyfriend about it, and had a calm, serious conversation about his sexuality, YOUR sexuality, and what you can do to keep lines of communication open with each other.

If you can't TALK about sex outside of the bedroom--and not just YOUR sex, but sexual situations and sexual history (without invading privacy--you don't need to know how many people he's had sex with, for instance), you shouldn't be HAVING sex with that person.