She has broken up with me after a history of failures!
Hi all, and thanks for taking the time to read this, and hopefully offer some advice.
I'm a 31 year old male, living in Ireland, and she (my ex) is a 23 year old, living in Mexico. We have sustained a 3 year+ relationship long distance, and have met up 4 times in all this time. We were to officially announce our engagement in February and marry a year after. We have a lot going for us, but this past years has seen a catalogue of fights and problems, all of which I've been blaming her for and thinking she was simply being irrational and possessive of me.
About 3 weeks ago, I had come online, as she did, and she sent me a text file with a copy of some emails that I had sent to another girl (living in Peru) and one to an ex-gf from years ago.
These emails were innocent from the point that they were not 'love letters' or arrangements to meet up etc, but they were highly damaging to my relationship as they contained very flirty language and one email to the girl in Peru had been discussing how void of passion that I felt my (then) current relationship had become and how I was simply 'existing a life rather than living one'... all highly damaging.
When my girlfriend had presented this too me, she simply wanted an explanation as to what they were about and why I was in contact with these girls.
But instead of being humble about it, I instead was arrogant and bloody proud. I was very angry at her having accessed my emails to 'spy' on me like that, but after I calm down (which was too late, because she had already broken up over it all) I understand that I have given her reason after reason to suspect me of those sorts of things, even though again, genuinely, I've never cheated on her or been with anyone at all since knowing her.
As things are now, and due to the very sad and upsetting news that her grandmother passed away this day last week (I thought very very highly of her), my ex and I at least have communications again, and speak most days in MSN, but she wishes to not consider ever having a relationship with me again, and wishes to remain my friend only.
She says she still loves me a lot and cares for me, but in a different way now.
I need to have her back in my life. I want her so badly, and especially as this has really forced me to finally open my stupid eyes and realise how selfish and self-centred I have been when all she has done is love me.
What do I do? How can I convince someone to give it yet ANOTHER 'try'... :(