Multiple threads merged.

Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 year 3 months and 3days. I met my boyfriend in 1st grade and he is the only persn that I really ever connected with. We have so much in common but for the last couple of weeks we have hit a really bad rough patch. We go into an agrument right after Xmas. We made up but we not stop spenting time together. We talk everyday about what going on with each other. Now that we don't spent time together we get into a agrument every week about something. Every time we get into an agrument he keep telling me that Im emotionally selfish. That I put my feeling first in our relationship and I never can see what he's talking about. Since we haven't spent time to together, I have become more jealous to seen him on Facebook talking to his friend that is a girl. I could never understand what he would mean when he would say that Iam emotionally selfish person. We are both at the point where we are comfortable being by ourselve. He wants to take time to himself and not talk to me for awhile. We got into another agrument again teo night ago about something in my past. He believes that I mislead he with information about my past. He says I was dishonest about what happened which that pissed him off. He believed something else happened when it didn't he had the wrong idea of what happened. When we first started dating we both agree that it won't be any secrets between us. So last night I wrote down every problem that we every had and I realized they were my fault. Im stubborn but I have apologized for my action and the damaged that I have caused to my relationship. I Don't KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW. I don't want my relationship to end because we have been through a lot together. He is a great guy and I know that any female would be lucky a have him. I have noticed my mistakes and flaws but how can I fix my relationship.

Ok what age are you? Is he?

Are the arguments about little things? What?

Everyone goes through rough patches. It is a hazard of being in a relationship. It is the union of two people with different thoughts, opinions, outlooks... You cannot fix problems in a relationship alone, even if, and I doubt this, you are the cause of them all. It takes a lot of effort on both sides.

I am 19 and he's going to be 21 next month. I don't like to agrue but its too much stress. Especially when I have another people dependenting on me... and NO I don't have any kids. We agrue over little things like me not tell him that Im not at home when he's on the way to coming to get me. Its a lot of other things but I don't want to get into. I have talked to him about but he told me to stop think and listen for a change. I would be straight.

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Originally Posted by FULLILOVE

I am 19 and he's going to be 21 next month. I dont like to agrue but its too much stress. Especially when I have another people dependenting on me.....and NO I dont have any kids. We agrue over little things like me not tell him that Im not at home when he's on the way to coming to get me. Its alot of other things but I dont want to get into. I have talked to him about but he told me to stop think and listen for a change. I would be straight.

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There is no need to cut off the nose of someone who hasn't said anything to you. I would not, nor would the other frequenters of this site, cast aspirations on you if you did have children.

Moreover, this is a free website people are here giving advice because they want to help. Not because they are obliged to, so I would rethink your attitude.

If you don't want to go into your problems I can't help you I'm not psychic.

And now after reading all of this I think that your boyfriend may be right, maybe if you stop and listen to what he is saying it may help your relationship.

Communication and trust are key in a relationship

Every girlfriend he has every had did him wrong by lying and cheating on him. I always end up being hurt by every guy that I have every been with. It like they wouldn't really like me. When one of my old boyfriend broke up with me, I acted like I didn't care but it was killing me. After him I was dating a couple of guy nothing real serious because I was so hurt over him breaking my heart. Now that I met the guy that I really care for, I think that I am messing up thinks . After my old boyfriend that broke my heart died, I was on the computer laying in bed with my current boyfriend and he said that his cousin knew my old boyfriend. Without thinking or anything my mind went blank and I said right in front of his face my boo shawn(old boyfriend). He got so mad at me because I had said that, I don't blame him for getting mad at me. I have to think of it from his point of view. Im not trying to damaged my relationship with him at all. I keep saying things that piss him off. I have never been so comfortable around a guy before, his is my best friend. I never been a really affection person until I met him, I don't always want to say that I love him all the time so I would be affection. He got to the point where he felt that I was smothering him and didn't want to affection at all it disgust him. We got past that the smothering thing but when we agrue it comes back up. When we broke up when we first got together, he slept with his ex girl. She was lying to saying that she was pregnant and tell him about the dotcor she went to. Come to find out the place she went they never heard of that doctor. She was being very childish and petty about the whole thing because she wanted him. Its been a couple of yr since it has happened. I feel like I have fight off females because the ex girlfriends calling trying to get back with him. For the last couple of weeks we have been agruing to so much because he said that I am emotionally selfish
Andhe tells me to admit to it. And I don't because I don't see that I was being emotionally selfish. Now that I look back on the last month, I haven't been thinking about his feeling towards the situation that cause us to agrue. We're suppose to move in together by May. He said that he don't trust me, don't know if he want to broke up, doesn't feel the same love that he did had for me, and that doesn't care anymore. I was out of work of a while and I always wanted him around. I dependenting more and more on him when I lacked things in my own life. I noticed my flaws and talked him that I was wrong for things I have said that may have implied like something that was going on with him and his friend. I don't want to lose him. I would rather go blind to see him with another woman. I know it taking two to make the relationship better but I think he will end the relationship because he saying that he doesn't care anymore. I haven't reached none of my stuff that is at his house.

Every girlfriend he has every had did him wrong by lying and cheating on him. I always end up being hurt by every guy that I have every been with. It like they wouldn't really didn't care for me like I cared for them. When one of my old boyfriend broke up with me, I acted like I didn't care but it was killing me. After him I was dating a couple of guy nothing real serious because I was so hurt over him breaking my heart. Now that I met the guy that I really care for, I think that I am messing up things with him . After my old boyfriend that broke my heart died, I was on the computer laying in bed with my current boyfriend and he said that his cousin knew my old boyfriend. Without thinking or anything my mind went blank and I said right in front of my boyfriend face that his cousin knew my boo shawn(old boyfriend). He got so mad at me because I had said that, I don't blame him for getting mad at me. I have though about it from his point of view. Im not trying to damaged my relationship with him at all. I keep saying things that piss him off. I have never been so comfortable around a guy before, his is my best friend. I never been a really affection person until I met him, I don't always want to say that I love him all the time so I would be affection to show him that I love him. It got to the point where he felt that I was smothering him and didn't want to be affection at all, it disgusting to him. We got past the smothering thing but when we agrue it comes back up. When we broke up when we first got together, he slept with his ex girl. After he told about it she was lying saying that she was pregnant and told him about the doctor she went to. Come to find out the place she went they never heard of that doctor. She was being very childish and petty about the whole thing because she wanted him back. Its been a couple of yr since it has happened. Now I feel like I have fight off females because the ex girlfriends would call and try to get back with him. For the last couple of weeks we have been agruing to so much because he said that I am emotionally selfish. I don't see that I was being emotionally selfish and I don't admit to it. Now that I look back at last month, I was being emotionally selfish and haven't been thinking about his feeling towards the situation that cause us to agrue. We're suppose to move in together by May but I don't know now. He said that he don't trust me, don't know if he wants to break up, doesn't feel the same love that he did had for me, and that doesn't care anymore. I was out of work of a while and I always wanted him around. I dependenting more and more on him when there was a lack of things in my own life. I noticed my flaws and told him that I was wrong for things I have said that may have implied that something that was going on with him and his friend. I don't want to lose him. I would rather go blind to see him with another woman. I know it takes two to make the relationship better but I think he will end the relationship because he said that he doesn't care anymore. I haven't received none of my things from his house.

Sorry to anyone who read this I didn't look it over before I submitted it. I was trying to get advice asap.

Everyone has a flaw and flaws because no one is perfect. It is a good sign when someone realize their flaw and try to work it. However, I wonder if there is something more going on with your boyfriend.

Hmm, he has his ex girlfriends calling him trying to win him over>>do you know this for sure? If so, there maybe he is exploring his options and giving you grief in return by arguing with you.

You hit it on the nail when you said it takes two to make a relationship works so ask yourself "he is meeting you halfway"?

What exactly is your question?

Do you want opinions on what he will do and why he is acting this way? Do you want advice on what to do?

Please be specific.

This is actually a double post of: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ow-439172.html

They should be merged

That's the thing I don't know if he wants to work on this. He's my childhood sweetheart and everything. One day he got off work he was washing his car in front of his house and one of his ex girlfriend pulled up and got on the car and started talking to him. Saying that her auntie lives by him now and she was dropping off her nephew. He told me about because we don't have secrets. He told that day right now it happened. My family just freaking loves him. We have really broke up when he was getting ready to return my clothes to me. He couldn't even do it because he wants me to be with him. I don't want sound like a little girl that believes in everything that someone tells them but that's not the case... I don't. He asked me to marry me and were supposed to move in together by may. All he do is work and all he really has is me to fall back on. Right now I don't know because he feel like I mislead him about what happened in my past with this guy. I don't like talking about what happened but I told him anyway. He said that I was dishonest because it was a half of truth.

What do you think is going to do because I haven't really talked to him. I don't know if he wants to make the relationship work.

Why don't you just ask him what he wants?

You're the one who betrayed his trust. So it's up to him whether he's willing to give you another chance to repair that breach of trust.

When I asked him, all he could say was I don't know.

What you can do is tell him how you feel. Tell him what you want (i.e. to repair the relationship, etc.)

Then it's up to him to decide what to do next. I suspect that you'll need to give him some time and space to figure things out. You can't expect him to have instant answers for you.

When I try to give him the space that he wants but he contacts me. I would a put something on my Facebook page and within minutes he would text me asking about.

Then block him on Facebook

Sounds to me that he's just as confused about what to do.

Hanging around in limbo can be very emotionally draining on both of you.

Since you're the one who needs to do some damage control, I suggest that you let him know that you're ready and willing to work on the relationship if he's willing to give it another shot, but that you'll give him time and space to figure things out. But until he figures it out, it's probably better to stay out of each other's hair so that you don't make each other suffer.

If he's not willing to give you another chance, then let him know that it's better to go your separate ways so that you don't prolong the pain and misery.