My Ex came by to grab one thing that she needed for her car (the rest of it is here still packed up, which I packed). She broke up with me last month after 18 months of being in love and being with each other. She has a new boyfriend and I have been on a few dates. She said her new boyfriend is not a real relationship. She also recently found out she has cancer but has not told her friends or new boyfriend. When she stopped by she talked for a while. She can tell I was happy. She threw off so many mixed signals tough. She kept touching me. She also said "my mom asked when I was getting back with you". I told her to say "never". She said "Ok, I'll start telling her that". I asked her what was she saying and she said "I don't know and I don't know if he will even take me back". What the he&# would she say that. She left and was sooo sure about it. Now, she is saying this crap. Later she said I don't know what I want. I said well I think you are doing what you want to do. She said that she doesn't know. She also said it feels good to hang out with you because I can be myself. So if I make her so happy and she wants to stop by to see me why did she leave and why isn't she coming back? Basically, I will get back with her if we go to couples consular to talk out any issues. BUT I will NOT be her back up plan. Either we are completely finished or we get it another chance.

What do you think she is thinking? I know you can't read minds but just give your best insight.

Thanks,

Also, let's say she does want to get back together. Which approach would work best?

Hang out with her when she ask for an hour about twice a week. During this time, play it cool, don't tell her I want her back, and tell her about my dates

Or

Tell her I'm not ready to become her "friend" and limit the contact. (BTW, can't cut it off completely because we have an apartment together)

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...do-435860.html

In this thread you state you had several problems with the relationship,one been that she was a liar.

Your not doing yourself any favours by keeping contact,she is still with her boyfriend and making doe eyes at you!

You say your not going to be her back up plan,then don't.

Your not her boyfriend,your not her mother,your not responsible for her.

No contact.

Someone else can pick up her stuff for her,or you can drop it at her mothers when she (ex) is not there.

Don't get pulled into a conversation.

I understand you still love her,but she still kissing,making love and laughing with her boyfriend.

redhed35

I understand what your saying. But the connection is still so strong and we both feel it. Just because we had a few issues, it does not mean they can't be resolved. I just basically want to know what to make of her actions. I'm well on my way to force myself to get over her but if she wants to attempt to fix them, I will.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by notsurewhat2do

redhed35

I understand what your saying. But the connection is still so strong and we both feel it. Just because we had a few issues, it does not mean they can't be resolved. I just basically want to know what to make of her actions. I'm well on my way to force myself to get over her but if she wants to attempt to fix them, I will.

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She is still with her boyfriend!

Think of it this way,if she still wanted you,don't you think being single would be the first thing she would do?

Is she really going to go from his bed to yours?

Is that good enough for you?

Plus,with cancer she had a long road a head of her,treatments,councilling,more treatments,she has a lot on her plate right now,do you think a love triangle is the best thing for her right now?

I agree with redhed, she is still with her boyfriend. You say your problems can be resolved, who is she with, still the boyfriend. So if it doesn't work out with him, she will jump back to you. That's what you want to settle for. There is no connection she is with the other guy. Stay clear, you heading for headaches.

I am going to be blunt.

Your relationship ended a month ago. She already has a 'boyfriend'. You are already dating (how much depends and how happy you are depends on the thread). Both of you are in rebound minefields. Getting back with her would be stepping on one.

It sounds like she is making decisions based on her feelings of the moment. For her sake and your sanity, I hope she settles down soon and leaves you alone. In return, you need to do your part and leave her alone.

Why are you giving her all the decision making power here, eh?

She walk out and you what?. wait until you can roll the welcome mat back out?

Come on, if she really wanted to come back then she would say 'Hey, look I really want to come back. I don't know how I could have been so stupid!'


Not 'Eh...I dunno what I want'

You said in your thread she could tell you are happy... and I'm guessing she wants in on that until she decides that the grass is greener again?

Move on, be happy. Maybe in some distant future you can be friends but that is not now, and now is when you should definitely not be getting back together.

I just talked to her and told her not to contact me. I told her she is sending mixed signals and I will not wait around. She said a lot but I don't think its worth posting because this is something that can't be made sense of... even tough I have a bad habit of trying to make sense of everything and figure everything out.

I have too much passion for her and her well-being to just be friends with her. Even her Mom said she was not making a good decision.

Well my advice would be to either, write it and get it out, if you really feel you need to pick through it do it on here. Where you can get rational and varied opinions.

But one better, just write it down, burn it and let it all go.

And her with it.