Hello, my two sons have not had any contact or have received any child support from their biological father over 11 years, they were 2 and 4 years old last time they saw him. Both of my sons are now over the age of 13, but still a minor. My husband of 9 1/2 years of marriage has stepped up and became their father. He has supported them financially, emotionally and physically. The last time I had any contact with their biological father, we where in court for domestic violence. Both of my sons have requested me to establish my full rights on paper. They also requested that my husband adopts them. My concerns for not have done this are the risks that their biological father stops the process. Since they had no contact with their biological father for the past 11 years and are over the age of 13, is their a way I can begin to establish my full parental rights without his consent? My children want NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM. What can I do?

They cannot be adopted without the consent of their birth father. What do you mean by full custodial rights? It appears you already have full custodial rights.

What does the Order concerning support/visitation/custody say?

There is no law about abandonment here. Child abandonment is a criminal charge for leaving a child without any adult supervision.

The children's father will have to be contacted to relinquish his rights. However, if he refuses, given the circumstances, the court may grant the adoption. I think the ages of the children will work in your favor.

I would strongly urge contacting a family law attorney in your area who can better advise you of how your local courts will deal with this situation. You will need an attorney to prepare the adoption proceedings anyway.

Why have you not received child support? Was an order for support issued but not enforced? Is his income hidden? I ask because using the collection of support as leverage to get a bio parent to relinquish rights is common.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

There is no law about abandonment here. Child abandonment is a criminal charge for leaving a child without any adult supervision.

The children's father will have to be contacted to relinquish his rights. However, if he refuses, given the circumstances, the court may grant the adoption. I think the ages of the children will work in your favor.

I would strongly urge contacting a family law attorney in your area who can better advise you of how your local courts will deal with this situation. You will need an attorney to prepare the adoption proceedings anyway.

Why have you not received child support? Was an order for support issued but not enforced? Is his income hidden? I ask because using the collection of support as leverage to get a bio parent to relinquish rights is common.

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No child support was ever received because I did not pursue it and the biological father never made an attempt. I knew if I did pursue child support he would hide his income (he told me) and he would try to get visitations just to make my life difficult. My husband than boyfriend secured me that he would take care of us and help raise them to the best he could.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

They cannot be adopted without the consent of their birth father. What do you mean by full custodial rights? It appears you already have full custodial rights.

What does the Order concerning support/visitation/custody say?

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What I have with my kids are infomal custodial rights, but my kids want no ties with their biological father. They want to be completely relinqueshed from him. They want to be able to walk around, socialnetwork, and be mentally at peace without the fear that he may want to pop up one day and approach them in person or online. This guy is the kind that would probably sneak around to attempt contact with them-not the legitatment way.

It would appear that your children don't know him - but, that aside, if you can prove he's unfit or a danger you need to retain a Family Law Attorney and pursue adoption/terminating his rights.

This could have the opposite effect - he could suddenly become interested in seeing the children. If you are concerned that he may try to stop the process this may very well be a legitimate concern.

I am not "arguing" that the father may very well be a loser who has moved on. You need an Attorney to prove he is dangerous/detrimental to your children. Not supporting them may very well not be an issue if you never asked for support.

Unfortunately, its not entirely up to the kids. He is their legal father and has rights. That he has not exercised them to this point will work against him, but it will probably not mean an automatic termination of rights.

Sorry this is not what you want to hear, but the law will probably see it that way. So you NEED a Family Law attorney to help you deal with the possibility that he will not voluntarily relinquish.

Thank you for taking your time to read my situation and inform me of what you know. I will take all this in and reevaluate the needs and the wants.

And please let us know how this works out -