Hi everyone I'm here for some advice on my relationship and I'm hoping for some constructive feedback. Im not really one for splashing my personal life about the internet but please help me.
Ok I have been with my girlfriend coming up to two years. Were both at college in different parts of the country and see each other on weekends only. She says that she loves me and I return that view with her. At first things were really great and they went on that way for about a year. Until I found something on a forum she had joined. Comments that she made were along the lines of "im horny" and "i want to watch you". This was around january/february last year. To this day she says that she was joking but I'm not so sure. Since this my trust in her has just gotten worse and worse over time. I am now questioning her about everything that she does and I especially feel anxious when she stays late on the computer at night. Sometimes I feel like I should just trust what she says but then there is something inside me telling myself that I can't trust her.
After I eventually forgave her "joke". That's forgiven not forgotten, I then discovered on a different forum about her saying she wants to "do" this celebrity. Again she said it was a joke and once again I forgave her hurtful "joke".
There used to be times where she would say one thing and then do something completely different. I have sometimes had to shove proof right in her face until she tells me the truth. She would lie about things no matter how many times I would ask her to give her the chance to come clean but she would continue to lie about things until I actually showed her proof that she was lying.
Its especially hurtful because at the beginning of our relationship we both agreed that above all and no matter what we would be 100% honest with each other.
Sorry if all this is a bit jumbled up I'm just writing things I can think of as they come to my head.. .
Another thing she said she wouldn't do was get this guys phone number to the college she goes to. She diddnt get his number for a while but now she has his number and they text each other quite a bit it seems. The guys number who she got has a girlfriend but in my paranoid state all kinds of things are going through my mind.
Ok there is also a sex issue. At first the sex was regular now it seems we hardly ever have sex. Its rare for us to have sex. Also its rare for her to show me any kind of affection unless I come to her. When she does kiss me it's a quick peck here and there just to keep me happy I think.
I have to admit this past weekend was really nice she seemed like the girl I first fell for. It worries me that things are just going to go back to the lies, lack of affection and lack of sex again.
There is plenty more I could mention and if anyone asks me a question I will do my best to reply with an honest answer.
Any constructive help would be great because I'm sick to death of worrying what she's doing all the time. It shouldn't be like this and I guess I may be partly to blame because of my constant questioning but I'm finding it very hard and have been like this for nearly a year now. I just can't take the torture of not knowing anymore. The thing is if she has done something against me in the past or present and she came and told me then I would respect her for telling me. Id rather she did tell me than to keep things from me and go on like this
