Threads merged

My ex-girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago and we saw each other last wed. stupid me keeps wanting to talk about the two of us and she just gets annoyed. I asked her if she saw us together and she said not in the ear future and then I asked her if she was still in love with me, I believe she gave me an honest answer by saying I don't know of course I pushed it by saying and said how do not know, she got mad and said well I guess if I don't I must not. Is she confused about her feelings or am I just jerking my own chain?

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Originally Posted by loopfruit

my ex-girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago and we saw each other last wed.

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Just hanging as friends now? Be shame, were she lonely and miss you. I'll go out on a limb and assume she dumped you, so respect yourself and disappear instead of hanging around like an eager puppy. Eager puppies aren't life-long mate material - they're pet material.

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Originally Posted by loopfruit

I asked her if she was still in love with me

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Eager puppy seeks approval. SHE DUMPED YOU. Hello?

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Originally Posted by loopfruit

she got mad and said well i guess if I don't I must not.

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Mighty fine logic there. She dumped you. Believe her.

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Originally Posted by loopfruit

Is she confused about her feelings

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She's either A) not confused, or B) secretly and madly in love with you and wild horses couldn't drag her away. Hmm, tough call.

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Originally Posted by loopfruit

she just gets annoyed

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Just reading your post, I too got annoyed. It reeks of insecurity. Ick!

I am hanging around I have had no contact in 5 days and want to see if she calls me in the next week or two. I will not call. But is I don't know a real answer or just being nice?

She dumped you so is clearly NOT in Love with you but just trying to be as nice to you as possible and easing her guilt for dumping you , stop being a little puppy waiting around for her , that's not going to endear you to anyone particularly her.

You need to accept that its over and start living your own life again.
Stick to no contact and leave her alone.

Harshness warning

If she loved you, she wouldn't say "I don't know". Do you really need to her to blunt and say: "NO, I don't love you, so stop bothering me"?

She's already letting you down easy, do you really need to push her to let you down hard?

Has anyone been in this position and had it work out after a few months getting back together? I am not talking to her and will not call, she would have to be the one to make contact. I was reading about the 60 day rule and if she makes no contact then she has moved on. Yes I do love her but know that if I push it will only drive her further away, and yes Walt Disney is still alive.

Threads merge

After break up two months ago she emails me and wants to know if I can find her thermos lid for her because she wants to take tea with her to work. Any thoughts on this? I felt it was pretty silly.

Ignore her.

I'm sure she can afford to buy a new thermos flask!

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Originally Posted by loopfruit

after break up two months ago she emails me and wants to know if I can find her thermos lid for her because she wants to take tea with her to work. Any thoughts on this? I felt it was pretty silly.

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Isn't it possible that she really is missing the lid to her thermos and thought maybe it was at your house? I don't think there was any other meaning to her question.

Seriously - don't talk to her by phone, text, e-mail or Facebook. Just let it go - it's over!

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Originally Posted by loopfruit

after break up two months ago she emails me and wants to know if I can find her thermos lid for her because she wants to take tea with her to work. Any thoughts on this? I felt it was pretty silly.

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So do I , whatever her intentions it doesn't matter. The important thing for you is healing , don't make any contact as that'll just take you back a few steps.

If it's that important to her she can buy a new thermos :rolleyes:

She needs a new thermos, one with a lid to it, that's all there is to it. Yes its silly.

I wouldn't answer her text messages or phone calls anymore. If you do it just shows that she's got you where she wants you, which is wrapped around her finger. You must do what is best for you because she moved on already buddy. If you stop contacting her you ca get your dignity back and if she really wants to talk to you she will make that happen on her own.

See this is what I'm talking about. Buddy believe me, the last thing Im trying to do is give you falsto hope here. BUT, Im in the same boat you are, still kind of shell shocked from my situation. Anyway, yes the message or email she sent was silly. Im not trying to say that there was any hidden meaning behind it either... but what if this is her trying to reach out. It would have to be hard to go back to somebody that you said you didn't love or didn't need anymore. You would be very humbled to do this if you were the dumper. So my question is... how does everybody know that this is not her trying to reach out. My fear is, if he ignores it, then what if she just quits and gives up. Obviously she should be willing to work a little harder to get him back but... do you follow?

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Originally Posted by MLB33

See this is what im talking about. Buddy believe me, the last thing Im trying to do is give you falsto hope here. BUT, Im in the same boat you are, still kinda shell shocked from my situation. Anyway, yes the msg or email she sent was silly. Im not trying to say that there was any hidden meaning behind it either....but what if this is her trying to reach out. It would have to be hard to go back to somebody that you said you didnt love or didnt need anymore. You would be very humbled to do this if you were the dumper. So my question is...how does everybody know that this is not her trying to reach out. My fear is, if he ignores it, then what if she just quits and gives up. Obviously she should be willing to work a little harder to get him back but....do you follow?

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I do see what your getting at,but no..

she was well able to say its over,I'm sure she's well able to say 'lets talk',not I want my thermos lid back.

best thing for the op to do is move on,stop the analysis of text messages and take them at word value...

no contact.

unless of course it's a priceless family heirloom thermos lid,in that case,I suggest just posting it back.

I can tell you both, that false hope can be a lot of trouble for you. Don't you think if someone wanted you back, that's what they would tell you?

If feelings were genuine, and sincere, they would also be direct, and not be trying to lure you into giving them attention to smooth over guilty feelings, or play some games because they are bored, or want you in the friends zone.

Don't play that game when it comes to your own well being from healing, because what many fail to understand, you will see exes in an entirely better light after you heal, and then you are able to make a better decision based on facts, not what ifs, as in what if thats her way of reaching out to you.
Its more important to heal, than it is to fantasize an exes every action, just because your usually wrong. But of course you can't see that, because your mind is mush, and your common sense is smothered beneath layers of emotions.

Yes the message was very silly, and who knows, maybe she doesn't like the fact that you are moving on, and is jealous, Does this mean she wants you back ? no. If she really wanted you back, she would tell you. You're a loopfruit, so don't start acting like a FRUITLOOP!
COntinue NC, doing great

Ok... I do believe that if she wanted him back she would do a little more than ask for a thermos lid. If it were me (and it is me too) I would want her to bust her tail trying to make me take her back. I don't mean I would make it impossible but she has something ot prove to you now. If she simply makes one comment and still moves on, she doesn't want it bad enough and YOU don't deserve that. Yeah yeah, if we were all in a room, the "experts" would all be patting me on the back.

But... it still hurts man. I know it does. Like I said, Im right there with you.

Question though... do you guys truly believe that if she wanted him back (this applies to me too) that she would be direct about it?

Absolutely. Most times they just want friendship from you. Its important to heal first before you consider any friendship. I do mean healing HAS to come first.

Why would they want that? To make them feel less guilty?