Ok, I swear it's real. My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. We have 2 children together and he has an older son with his ex. When the divorce went through, he gave her custody of his son. She spent the last 5 years completely ing him up and finally (after her sister called DCF) agreed to hand custody over to my husband and I. Immediately after, she lost her home due to filthy living conditions which went unfixed. I offered her a couch till she found another place. (Stupid me) I also though it may help the child transition better. I have a signed and notorized letter from her stating he came to live with us in August.

Her and my husband agreed that since he was now supporting him AND HER that she would forfeit the cihld support once it was put on her card because she wasn't supporting him any more. During all of this, we put together the child custody packet and turned it in.. waiting on a date. Well after about 3 months I told her it wasn't working and she needed to find another place to live. Child support got sent to the state... she SPENT EVERY DIME ON HER!!

My husband file a motion to terminate Child Support, which he didn't know he could do until recently but it takes up to 14 weeks to go through. What are his rights?

Please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky in the Divorce forum (where this was moved from) that directs questions of a legal nature to this forum.

As soon as there is a change in custody, the parent paying support should IMMEDIATELY file for a change in the support order. Big mistake not doing so. Now you have to wait until it goes through the process.

You can try talking to the agency that collects the support to put a hold on turning it over until the support hearing is completed. That way you may be able to get it back.

Has he filed for a custody change and alos the order to stop the child suport from him yet ? What state is this ?

We are in Florida. Yes we turned in the modification packet (change of custody) about a month ago.

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Originally Posted by Raising3

We are in Florida. Yes we turned in the modification packet (change of custody) about a month ago.

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Then I would do as Scott has said and notify the child support agency and ask them to put it on hold. Be sure to have the case number handy and tell them the child is now living with you. Otherwise you may not be able to recover anything if she is spending it as fast as she can. Also you might want to be prepared to fax any supporting documents you have to them if requested. The reason for asking them to put it on hold is because it takes a court order to outright suspend it. They will still be taking it but not distribute it. Make sure that part is clear.

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Originally Posted by califdadof3

then I would do as Scott has said and notify the child support agency and ask them to put it on hold. Be sure to have the case number handy and tell them the child is now living with you. Otherwise you may not be able to recover anything if she is spending it as fast as she can. Also you might want to be prepared to fax any supporting documents you have to them if requested. The reason for asking them to put it on hold is because it takes a court order to outright suspend it. They will still be taking it but not distribute it. Make sure that part is clear.

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Yes and no. My husband received temporary primary placement on August 14th and support was ordered to be back-dated to the end of July because the children had been residing with us since then. The commissioner agreed, but whoever drafted the temporary order screwed up and forgot to put that in there. My husband's employer would not stop garnishing his wages(so to speak) without an order from the court so his exwife kept receiving and spending the money that was not supposed to be getting paid to her.

Now, they're showing that my husband has a $1,200 credit but that has to be transferred to the new case, where she is the payer not the payee. So I think there's a possibility that the courts will backdate and/or reverse what has been paid to the mother, so long as the OP can prove that the child was actually residing with the father and not with the mother.

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Originally Posted by this8384

So I think there's a possibility that the courts will backdate and/or reverse what has been paid to the mother, so long as the OP can prove that the child was actually residing with the father and not with the mother.

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I agree, but I think this case is different. In this case, the father is paying to an agency that is then adding the funds to some sort of debit card the mother has. The mother is then spending the money as soon as its credited. Given the mother's circumstances, I doubt if either the agency or the father will every be able to recover any money that the mother gets her hands on. Therefore, In my opinion, the only way to have a chance on recovering this money is to prevent it from going to the mother. That's why trying to get the agency to suspend crediting the mother's "card" is important.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

I agree, but I think this case is different. In this case, the father is paying to an agency that is then adding the funds to some sort of debit card the mother has. The mother is then spending the money as soon as its credited. Given the mother's circumstances, I doubt if either the agency or the father will every be able to recover any money that the mother gets her hands on. Therefore, IMHO, the only way to have a chance on recovering this money is to prevent it from going to the mother. That's why trying to get the agency to suspend crediting the mother's "card" is important.

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That's how Wisconsin does it. You don't get a check anymore, CSA deposits child support from the payer onto a debit card issued to the payee. So everything my husband's exwife got, she spent.

However, they finally got it semi-straightened out and are now showing that my husband has a credit. But they won't be able to intercept her refund until a)it gets switched to the new case or b) she repays it, and as the support worker said, "That never happens." Once it's on the new case then they can intercept her refund.

My point, is if they can get the CSA to suspend credits to the debit card, he may get that money back. If they continue to credit the card, he probably won't.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

My point, is if they can get the CSA to suspend credits to the debit card, he may get that money back. If they continue to credit the card, he probably won't.

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Yes, but they only credit the card when a payment has been made. If the father doesn't send any money in, then no credit gets issued.

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Originally Posted by this8384

Yes, but they only credit the card when a payment has been made. If the father doesn't send any money in, then no credit gets issued.

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But the support may be being paid through payroll deductions or something like that. And if he just arbitrarily stops payment, he can get in other trouble.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

But the support may be being paid through payroll deductions or something like that. And if he just arbitrarily stops payment, he can get in other trouble.

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And that's what I said earlier; that was exactly what my husband was dealing with. He had the kids but the order got screwed up, his employer kept sending money to the CSA, the CSA kept crediting his ex's card and she spent all of it.

Now, they've gotten it rectified and are showing that he has a credit because he was "paying" when he wasn't supposed to; she will have to repay that amount because she wasn't supposed to be receiving it in the first place.

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Originally Posted by this8384

And that's what I said earlier; that was exactly what my husband was dealing with. He had the kids but the order got screwed up, his employer kept sending money to the CSA, the CSA kept crediting his ex's card and she spent all of it.

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Which is why the OP needs to get to CSA and try to get them to NOT credit her with the money until custody is resolved. Getting a credit is no good if the mother can't pay it back.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Which is why the OP needs to get to CSA and try to get them to NOT credit her with the money until custody is resolved. Getting a credit is no good if the mother can't pay it back.

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Which is why they intercept tax refunds. If she can't pay it back right now, she'll have to at some point.

Either way, the bottom line is that the OP's husband needs to get into court ASAP and get this straightened out.

Thank you all for your help. I know that Child Support Enforcement did say that he could go after her for anything she spends AFTER the court order goes through. I do have signed and notarized proof of the child living with us. I made sure of that while we were on good terms. He doesn't get his wages garnished but he does send the check through the state. He has a $260 credit right now because he's paid ahead but I thought about just sending the remaining balance... soo... 382-260? 122? Sounds better than 382. I have a $500 electric bill to pay that SHE helped rack up and never contributed towards. *Sigh* Can't wait for all the drama to be done.

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Originally Posted by Raising3

Thank you all for your help. I know that Child Support Enforcement did say that he could go after her for anything she spends AFTER the court order goes through. I do have signed and notarized proof of the child living with us. I made sure of that while we were on good terms. He doesnt get his wages garnished but he does send the check through the state. He has a $260 credit right now because he's paid ahead but I thought about just sending the remaining balance...soo....382-260? 122? Sounds better than 382. I have a $500 electric bill to pay that SHE helped rack up and never contributed towards. *Sigh* Can't wait for all the drama to be done.

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I know how you feel. He can't ask for back support(her to pay HIM for the time the child was living with you) but he can at least request that he be reimbursed the support that he paid to her while the child was living with him. The worst that will happen is the judge will deny the request.

Keep us updated! :)

Apparently in Florida we do have a form called consent for temporary custody. I don't know if it's as good as a court order but I am going talk to my husband about it and see.

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Originally Posted by Raising3

Apparently in Florida we do have a form called consent for temporary custody. I don't know if it's as good as a court order but I am going talk to my husband about it and see.

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That is exactly what it sounds like: temporary. A judge still needs to approve it.

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Originally Posted by this8384

That is exactly what it sounds like: temporary. A judge still needs to approve it.

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Yeah I understand that but if we can get the temporary custody filed then maybe we can suspend the child support until the permanent custody goes through. Not sure.

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Originally Posted by Raising3

Yeah I understand that but if we can get the temporary custody filed then maybe we can suspend the child support until the permanent custody goes through. Not sure.

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Yes, that's exactly what will happen. It's a long, slow process but at least if you're not paying out to her it will help a bit more. Good luck with everything!