Ask Me Help Desk - How do you walk away?

Im still having trouble letting go of my 3 year relationship with my ex girlfriend. Its been almost 3 months maybe 4 and I still can't walk away without wanting to try to make it work with her and when it comes to trying not to be her friend I can't do that either I go a day maybe a week at best and strart missing her so bad it drives me insane and I have trouble sleeping and want to call her and even on occasions break down into tears what should I do how do I walk away. To make things worse she has a new boyfriend that is a but she still can't see it and I do like someone else they are a stripper but I can look past it because I got to know them and they are a great person but she's in a relatrionship but wants out just needs to get a new place. I don't know what to do. How do I walk away 3 and about 1/2 years with someone that I was engaged to at one point? Please help me if you think you can. :confused:

You were with this girl for 3 years. It's perfectly normal to still feel the pain after a few months. The main thing is that you need to give yourself time to move on. Maybe after a year or two years you will be ready for another relationship. You can't just expect yourself to move on from a lengthy relationship after such a short time. Eventually you will either be able to walk away or you will become friends with her again.

It's been two years for me and I still haven't figured out how to move on, I stil;l think of my ex everyday, and long to contact him frequently. What stops me? I am an even bigger mess when I do!! Hang in there it does get better. In my situation it's not as bad as it was a year ago... and hopefully will be better in another year

Time takes... time. That's the crappy part.

But it helps to remind yourself that so many people report that much better things came to them later --and I am one of them. But what do I know, some days I can't get my own head out of a kleenex box. LOL

You could try taking some drastic measures like I have -- writing on posties and pasting them everywhere all with the same message in big sharpie writing: ITS OVER DUMMY! Or reciting every conceivable reason why it was a good thing until I burst out laughing (I can't remember now what absurdity did that, sorry) or watching that horrible Bette Davis movie about the old maid who couldn't move on and yelling Oh Not Me through it or... well, you get the point, right?

Contrary to how the movies make it look, carrying a torch over someone looks absurd because... it is!

Allow yourself to move on. You simply can not do that if your constantly dwelling on your lost. You broke up for a reason, remember that. Please, don't involve yourself with someone else, who have someone else. Avoid unnecessary drama, especially when it stares you straight in the face. Day by day it will get better, if you allow. Discover yourself and build you. Learn to enjoy being alone with yourself before you get involved with someone else.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Broken

Im still having trouble letting go of my 3 year realtionship with my ex girlfriend. Its been almost 3 months maybe 4 and i still can't walk away without wanting to try to make it work with her and when it comes to trying not to be her friend i can't do that either i go a day maybe a week at best and strart missing her so bad it drives me insane and i have trouble sleeping and want to call her and even on occassions break down into tears what should i do how do I walk away. To make things worse she has a new bf that is a but she still can't see it and i do like someone else they are a stripper but i can look past it because i got to know them and they are a great person but shes in a relatrionship but wants out just needs to get a new place. I dont know what to do. How do i walk away 3 and about 1/2 years with someone that i was engaged to at one point? Please help me if u think u can. :confused:

They say it takes half the time you were in the relationship to get over someone. So if you were with this girl for 3 years it takes 1 1/2 years. But in reality it just takes time and a realiziation that it is over and everything happens for a reason. Your heart will be broken many times in your life time. And each time your heart is broken it will be mended.

You bend your legs. You move them up and down. That is how you walk away. I know it may be hard. I am trying to give a little humour, might not seem that way but honestly if you keep living in the past you will never have a future, with anybody. Do you want to be lonely? If not what you need to do is let it go. Stop dwelling on the past and start doing things for yourself and for you future. Focus on other things and believe me eventually you will find better things. If you keep looking at the past though, do you realize you could be missing out on experiances of a life time now. Do you want to miss out on things that might be a lot better for you now or in the future.

Joe