My ex girlfriend and I were together for 18 months. We were in love and planning our future. We also lived together. She needed so much attention all the time and I couldn't always give it to her because I owned a business. We did spend a lot of time together but she wanted more. I didn't realize how much more she wanted until she broke up with me one month ago. Stating that she felt neglected. Now, my question is how can I get over her.We were so in love that my heart is torn up. I'm always a very happy person so I've never experienced this before. I feel like I lost a piece of myself. I'm a 21 year old guy and haven't cried since I was a little kid but now I'm crying almost everyday because I miss her so much. There were several things I was not happy about with my partner. But I ignored them because I loved her so much. Is this normal? If she wasn't ultimately good for me why do I hurt so bad? She was a repeat liar since day one about small stuff. It really bugged me but why do I want her back?

This is the first time I was in love and it lasted a year and a half. It was the greatest experience ever. But the break up is the worst experience ever... so I'm so lost and sad and just confused. What should I do? Why did I love her even tough she may have not been good for me?

Perhaps as you say this relationship has been the " first love" you have experienced , so you have never had to deal with the pain that when ended this is how it feels.

It is normal to feel the way you do , a mixture of emotions is built up , why do you miss her ? Well quite openely you said you spent a lot of time with her , of course you will miss her , you spent a lot of time together , to suddenley be alone can seem quite frighteneing.

I think the best advice I could give is to remember why you do not want to be with her , the reasons being together made you unhappy and keep those in your mind.It is so easy to just go back to the relationship just because you are afraid to be alone.

Start doing some activities that you enjoy , get out there and meet up with friends and make some new ones. They say you never forget your first love , but I am sure when the time is right you will find love again and hopefully learn by any past mistakes.

Good Luck x

24 hours after she said we shouldn't talk anymore for a while, she calls me and sends a picture of herself through text. Yet, she has a boyfriend. I can't cut her out of my life completely for two reasons; we are tied together by our apartment and accounts (for 8 more months) and 2) she just found out she has cancer and if she needs to talk I feel like I need to be there.

We loved each other and I don't want to be her back up plan if that's what she is trying to pull. I want her to know I'm moving on (even though I prefer to be with her). That way, she will get the picture that I will not wait around.

She has a boyfriend,she should be leaning on him now,and leaning on her family.

You're the ex boyfriend,what's done is done.

As hard as it is to get up in the morning,do it.

Get busy,stay busy,hit the gym,go no contact.

You will get over this,and as much as it hurts now,in time you will see it was for the best.

Keep moving forward,smile,fake it till you make it... seriously.

A broken heart is not trustworthy,give it time to heal,and use your head while dealing with this now.

Do what's best for you.

You miss her because you are lonely. It doesn't sound like, from what you said, that she was all that good for you.

Give it some time and soon enough you will find that one person who really is perfect for you.

Thanks for the posts guys. I understand our problem better now. We were each ochers lives, which is not that healthy. We needed out time apart but we didn't get that. In a sense we both lost our identity in each other. With out a doubt, we were in love but we just went about the relationship the wrong way. Plus it doesn't help that she is medicated for emotional issues and has a very low self esteem (even tough is very beautiful and everyone tells her so).

I have a busy week full of work and dates. I feel much better now that I know I will be meeting new people (it was so easy to get 4 dates this week).

Ultimately, I'm moving on. If in the future (like 6 months) she decides she wants to come back, I will only accept if I know we can balance our relationship, we see a couples consular, and more importantly, if I feel she is best for me.

Thanks again!

You seem to be on a little bit of an emotioanal rollercoaster,a few days ago you were heartbroken now your dating.

Be careful here,do not transfer your emotions onto someone else,its very easy to get attached to someone who is nice to you when your vunerable.

To be honest I think dating at the monent is the wrong thing to do,only because your still raw.. but,you're an adult, please use caution.

Thanks for the advice. I'm not looking to get into a sersious relationship. It wouldn't be fair to the other person because I need time to completely heal. I am on a emotional rollercoaster because I've never experienced this before. Plus, we defined each other and now that we are not together I'm a little lost. I consider myself emotionally strong because I always look at things in the positive aspect but this will take more work. We have a lot of mutual friends so I need to get out there and meet new people. Otherwise, I won't want to hang out with my friends when she may be there or it will bring back memories. And being alone all the time cannot be good during this time.

I totally agree to get and meet people and keep busy,just protect your heart and your mental health,its easy to slip into a cycle of depression when you are going through an unheavel in your life.

Keep the balance,make time on your own to reflect and fair play to stay positive..

But and this is a big but! Don't think that things will change between the two of you,do this with a view that the relationship is over for good,and you are not going back,its counter productive to think she will change or there is another chance.

I think it's a great idea to get out there and meet new people, especially if you aren't looking to just replace what you had. It's great to know what's out there, and if your previous relationship was bad, then it could be a great way to help you see that there are better people out there~
You are 21, you own your own business. Sounds like you have a lot going for you.
Have fun, but be safe!
Make sure to make time for YOU!
Reflection can be the best healer!