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-   -   I need advice about my boyfriend (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=435803)

  • Jan 16, 2010, 08:57 AM
    TNicole03
    I need advice about my boyfriend
    hello. im 20 years old, in a relationship for 6 months with my boyfriend who is 19. I have a issue... My boyfriend has 2 children, 1 kid may not be his. The Problem : The appartment we live in has lead everywhere, therefor we cannot bring children under 6 in the house, or they would get lead poisoning, and we have nowhere else to go SOO: My boyfriend has to go over to his ex's house everyday or every other day now to see his kids. The issue is the Ex, she is not over my boyfriend, she is in love with him still and told me about it. i have to be honest, he cheated on her too be with me, and they ended up breaking up. So im the "homewreaker" blah blah blah, the relationship they had was unhealthy and supposely there was no Love, and they argued everyday. So sorry to get off the subject, im worried that im gettin my karma in some sense, it does take 2 to tango.. unfortunately, i seen that my man had a light hickey on his neck, the problem is, i dont remember giving it to him because he hasn;t been letting me do that too him. I didn;t say anything about it, im tryin to keep my cool, but it's real hard for me to show affection toward him right now, which is unlikey for me. i didn;t mention the mysterious hickey, but i did have a break down, and a emotional attack, he asked me what was wrong i told him that i feel like we are falliin apart and that he is going to want his family back together and that i feel like a peice of because of the way everything came together. He keeps assuring me that he isn;t going back to her, for a list of reasons, all which are bad. he tells me he loves me, but he has to see his kids, and there is no other way to get around goin to her appartment because were both financally f**ked right now, he's a landscaper and im a part time agent at a insurance agency. I can barley pay for my car insurance and food to survive on. I want my relationship to work out!!! Anyways a day after my breakdown, i had to pick my boyfriend up, of corse i never pick him up from her appartment i pick him up down the road, because that's what hes been doing, which i find odd?? whatcha think?? Anways we went home, he seemed different, really really loving, made our bed, did the dishes, bought diner, and did the laundry He wanted intercourse, i tried it out, but had to stop because i felt sick and couldn;t get this drama off my mind. I asked him why suddenly hes acting like a stephard husband and he said because of my breakdown the other night he feels he needs to improve himself, My guts tellin me something isn;t right, but i keep ignoring it but the feeling is so intense?? WHAT WOULD YOU DO??????
  • Jan 16, 2010, 09:21 AM
    artlady

    First off,please refrain from using the pink color and the small font,it makes it difficult to read your post.Thanks.

    Your Bf is going to be involved with this woman in one way or another for many years to come and you need to accept that.

    Your fears and lack of trust are because you know he is capable of cheating but he may never cheat on you.

    However if you keep nagging him about cheating,you will push him away.

    There is never any guarantee that someone will remain faithful.

    You have to have faith and trust and try to be a good partner.That is all you can do.

    Worrying and nagging and judging his actions is just going to create problems.

    If he decides to be with her in the end,there is nothing you can do and stressing out about it is a waste of energy.It solves nothing.

    What I would do is get the health department to force your landlords hand to get the lead removed from the home.

    I would also lay off your BF with accusations and respect the fact that he is trying to be there for his children.

    The rest is anyone's guess.

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