I was introduced to a person. We known each other now for 3 months. At the beginning he would come to visit me almost every other day. I cook for him, wash dishes, bring drinks and desert to the table while he is on the phone with his friends, talking in a foreign language which I don't understand. He also use to invite his friends (single girls & guys) to my house to dance & drink and eat. When I got mad at him because of his actions and I felt I was the maid, I stopped talking to him for 3 weeks. Our plan before the fight was for me to invite his family to my house for New Years eve (cook, clean, etc), when I decided to cancel because I wanted to see if he really wanted to be with me New Years Eve without having people around us, he said it was fine. New Years Eve he sent me a txt message asking me if he could come over and be with me, I was very happy that he wanted to spend that special night with me. I sent a txt to him indicating "no friends tonight" and he replied "ok". I got up and got dressed (nice dress) and waited for him. Two hours later, I sent him a txt to see where he was and I said "are you coming", he replied "coming where". I was very upset and started to shake. I asked him not to call me again, he replied that he was invited to a party and if he wants me to go with him, which I refused. I did not speak with him for a month. Last Monday, he sent me a txt he wanted to come over. I decided to forgive him. He came and we talked about what happened. He hardly used his phone that night. Now, he send me txt when he wants to come and spend time with me (2-3 times a week) and the rest of the week, I don't know what he does (go out partying since it is his favorite thing to do). I need to know should I continue or forget about this relatiomship

The first part of a new Relationship is the best and if he's not showing you respect now I doubt he ever will. Far too many Red Flags in my opinion.

I'd run for the hills if I was you and stop being used for a doormat.

He does not seem like a good guy at all. Actions speak louder than words. You seem like a great girl. I would have to say that you should find someone better. Don't make someone priority while they keep you an option.

I'm going to be very straight with you, and if I were in your shoes I would forget about it...




Added after edit:
If he ditched you for a party and didn't even send you a txt to tell you/or to ask you to go when he decided yo go to a party instead of spending time with you.. and its been kind of bad from the very start I'd forget about it.

My thoughts are that if its bad or really bad in the beginning... well... it will most likely not get better. Get of the carousel.

Hope this helped

Thanks everyone for your quick reply. I don't like to hurt people in my life, but they do. I don't want to hurt him but Action Speaks Louder than Words". Today is Friday and I am here alone and he did not call me to come over and spend time with me. Most likley he is with his friends dancing somewhere. I am sure he will call tomorrow morning when he has no places to go.

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Originally Posted by terry333

Thanks everyone for your quick reply. I don't like to hurt people in my life, but they do. I don't want to hurt him but Action Speaks Louder than Words". Today is Friday and I am here alone and he did not call me to come over and spend time with me. Most likley he is with his friends dancing somewhere. I am sure he will call tomorrow morning when he has no places to go.

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Or when he needs a booty call , I wouldn't worry yourself about hurting him , he seems to have no problem hurting your feelings.

Its true!

You should stop seeing him and conntacting him. The next time you talk tell him you're no longer interrested.

This isn't really going anywhere!

Or you can just cut all connact and not tell him, don't conntact him and don't answer phone/txts.

He really doesn't seem as if he is worth your time.

I got hurt twice in my life and not ready to be hurt again. All resposes I got were the same. Even Chrismas and my birthday he did not get me a thing. He saw all flowers and gifts I received and it did not move him a bit.

He sounds like a real catch :)

Whenever someone acts like this... you are not a priority with him, sorry.

He is taking advantage and using you. If you were not involved and someone asked you what should they do in this situation... you would know the answer Terry.

Stringer

Stop seeing him-he's a waste of space and you deserve someone who treats you like an equal-not a toy.

I agree. Thanks for the advise.

Update -- Last time I saw him was on Thursday night . On Friday after reading all answers I received I decided not to reply to his txt and not to answer his calls. Saturday night he decided or remembered to call me and I did not answer, than he sent a txt saying "how are you?", I replied saying that I am no longer interested. He replied "why? what did I do?". I did not answer his txt. Today Sunday, he sent a txt "hello", I did not answer, he called twice and left the following message "you have to be fair and explain via txt or a call why you are no longer interested". I txt him saying that he was selfish, did not respect me, I am not priority in his life, etc. He than replied "If you dont like me, I do like you". I was surprised at his answer because he did not even defend himself or say that he will work on it or that he will change. I am just wondering was he around friends (partying & drinking) and he could not reply in full or maybe he was with another girl? Just don't understand him. I made up my mind not to answer his calls or txt but just wondering. Does anyone know why?

The only person who knows is him.
Don't worry about it-just stick to no contact.

You've only known this guy for 3 months. You don't owe him any explanations and you certainly shouldn't be wondering why he does things.

Who cares what his motivation might be? Cut him out of your life completely. He only contact you when he wants something - and it's not out of concern for you.

You can do A LOT better than this.

New development -- My father passed away 2 weeks ago and he came to the memorial service and few days later he came to the funeral, burial service and the reception we had for dad. I am sure he came to support me during this difficult time. He also keep sending me messages asking about me and my family. What should I do about this relationship?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by terry333

New development -- My father passed away 2 weeks ago and he came to the memorial service and few days later he came to the funeral, burial service and the reception we had for dad. I am sure he came to support me during this difficult time. He also keep sending me messages asking about me and my family. What should I do about this relationship??

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I'm sorry to hear that your father died.

Keep it at the friendship level - his behavior is not consistent and his actions in the past have not demonstrated care for your feelings or for your person.

Remember that you're vulnerable at the moment.

Thank him for his interest in your father's passing and keep it impersonal.

I'm sorry to hear about your father. It must be a sad time for you.

I'd still say ignore this guy,and find support from your real friends and your family.

Terry, he has shown little concern with impressing you so don't let him back in your life now.

It's a big red flag that not once has he mentioned showing you a good time, or taking you somewhere special, AND he likes to party, but not with you?

Sorry for your loss, but don't depend on him for love, and support, as he is not even a good friend.