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-   -   Wearing my deceased Aunt's coat (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=435557)

  • Jan 15, 2010, 12:06 PM
    violet0019
    Wearing my deceased Aunt's coat
    I would appreciate any comments, opinions and advice please. I am not sure if I feel right to wear my deceased Aunt's winter coat - negative energy, etc. I am fine wearing second hand clothing, but somehow there is something that does not feel right about this... I would appreciate any comments, opinions and advice please. Thank you.
  • Jan 15, 2010, 12:10 PM
    HistorianChick

    I have a long, fur coat that belonged to my Grandmother. I love to wear it because every time I put it on, it's like she's giving me a big hug, keeping me warm from the harsh winter wind. I adore it. :)

    Don't worry about "negative energy"... just count yourself lucky for having known your Aunt and wear it as a testament to her character :)
  • Jan 15, 2010, 05:13 PM
    cdad

    How did you get the coat ? The reason Im asking is because maybe there is guilt involved. That's where the negative feelings are coming from. When you receive something from someone you loved and they have passed it's a positive thing. But if your uncomfortable wearing it then your only other option it to not wear it or get rid of it.
  • Jan 15, 2010, 05:24 PM
    letmetellu

    Wear the coat with pride. Your aunt is a part of your past and this coat keeps that part of your life active a little longer. I have an idea that she would be proud that you are wearing it.
  • Jan 15, 2010, 05:35 PM
    Alty

    When my parents died I got all of their stuff (I'm an only child) and at first it was hard to pick out the things from my moms closet that I wanted to keep, especially since her and I are very different shapes and height.

    The one thing that did fit was her winter coat. It wasn't my style but it was her favorite, faux fur, leopard print. Not my style at all but boy was it warm and the best thing, no matter how often I wore it, it still smelled like her.

    I loved that jacket, wore it until it was worn down.

    It felt like my mom was with me every time I put it on.

    Only you can decide whether you can accept this jacket. I would recommend putting it away for a while before deciding. Maybe the grief is still too fresh right now.
  • Jan 16, 2010, 10:23 AM
    violet0019
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    When my parents died I got all of their stuff (I'm an only child) and at first it was hard to pick out the things from my moms closet that I wanted to keep, especially since her and I are very different shapes and height.

    The one thing that did fit was her winter coat. It wasn't my style but it was her favorite, faux fur, leopard print. Not my style at all but boy was it warm and the best thing, no matter how often I wore it, it still smelled like her.

    I loved that jacket, wore it until it was worn down.

    It felt like my mom was with me every time I put it on.

    Only you can decide whether or not you can accept this jacket. I would recommend putting it away for a while before deciding. Maybe the grief is still too fresh right now.

    Thank you for your reply, Actually, my Aunt died quite a long time ago, and the coat has been hanging with other clothing in my Parent's basement. I have always know it is there, but have been hesitant to wear it, not being sure - re: negative energy etc.

    I appreciate your thoughts on this question and also your quotes on advice etc. ;)
  • Jan 16, 2010, 10:32 AM
    asking

    I wear a sweater that was my father's and, more recently, a sweater given to me by the granddaughter of a beloved friend who died at Thanksgiving. When I wear these sweaters, I think of them with love--including the granddaughter who made a small ceremony out of giving it to me.
  • Jan 16, 2010, 10:42 AM
    violet0019
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by HistorianChick View Post
    I have a long, fur coat that belonged to my Grandmother. I love to wear it because every time I put it on, it's like she's giving me a big hug, keeping me warm from the harsh winter wind. I adore it. :)

    Don't worry about "negative energy"... just count yourself lucky for having known your Aunt and wear it as a testament to her character :)

    I appreciate your opinion. I have been hesitant because of :confused: "supersticious sayings/tales!:eek: .... the "unknown". But now, I feel that it is not negative at all, and that my deceased Aunt would be glad to know that I would be wearing it to keep me warm when the North wind blows!;)
  • Jan 16, 2010, 10:58 AM
    violet0019
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    How did you get the coat ? The reason Im asking is because maybe there is guilt involved. Thats where the negative feelings are coming from. When you recieve something from someone you loved and they have passed its a positive thing. But if your uncomfortable wearing it then your only other option it to not wear it or get rid of it.

    Thank you for your thoughts, and helping me to realize that it is not my own thoughts of negative energy at all, but the influences of "the unknown", :eek: old wive's tales and such!

    One day, when I have the time I will be having to make some changes and alterations to it (as unfortunately, there is some :eek: fox fur :( sewn around the edge of the hood).

    I appreciate your reply, as it has helped me to realize that keeping it is a positive thing, and that my Aunt would feel comforted to know that I :) have her coat (rather than a stranger)!
  • Jan 16, 2010, 11:03 AM
    violet0019
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by letmetellu View Post
    Wear the coat with pride. Your aunt is a part of your past and this coat keeps that part of your life active a little longer. I have an idea that she would be proud that you are wearing it.

    Thank you for your advice, as I am seeing the coat in "a different light", which is now with positive rather than negative energy. You are so right - she would feel proud :) and so much more relieved to know that I am wearing it, (rather than a stranger :eek:). I appreciate your thoughts.
  • Jan 16, 2010, 11:16 AM
    violet0019
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by asking View Post
    I wear a sweater that was my father's and, more recently, a sweater given to me by the granddaughter of a beloved friend who died at Thanksgiving. When I wear these sweaters, I think of them with love--including the granddaughter who made a small ceremony out of giving it to me.

    I also wear clothing and accessories given to me by my Mother, Sister and friends, but these are items that are "hand me downs". I feel the same way when wearing them - thinking of them :) and being grateful. But making the decision to wear my Aunt's coat seemed to be different because she is deceased, and I was being influenced :confused: by "the unknown" and superstions etc.
    Thank you for your reply, as it has helped me to realize that I WILL be glad to keep my Aunt's coat, and that she will be relieved in knowing that I :) will wear it, and that it has not been given to a :eek: stranger!
  • Jan 16, 2010, 11:35 AM
    asking

    To clarify, in both cases, I received the sweater after the person died. I also have a hat from my older friend, but haven't been able to wear that yet. It feels different somehow. I am not sure why. My son's wear their grandfather's hats and we keep them around the house. It feels good to have them around.

    You are perfectly entitled to enjoy this coat and make it your own by changing it. If it pleases you to think of her, do! If you don't think of her all the time, that's fine too. Life is for the living.

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