My daughter was 16 and began rcving text from 40+yr old married man from our church. I brought it to light after finding out that he was being secretive about it. Initially his wife said it was in the line of mentoring. Then she asked for the texts because he had deleted them to cover his tracks. I told them they need to include me in things like this for everyone's piece of mind and I don't approve of this man leading my daughter to think this was an appropriate relationship, forbidding her involvement with him unless socially.6-7 mo. Later this same mans wife left him and without my knowledge he and my now 17yr old daughter began texting again. As I watched one day I saw they were texting back and forth from the time she got hoem from school till I went to bed. The next day I confronted him. Then I told my daughter to stop or there would be serious consequences. I checked activity on cell and found there is a scary amount of texting going on between them at scary hours of the night as well. What can I expect from a trip to the police?

Why don't you start by taking the phone away?

You can go to the police about this. If I was in your position, I would, too.

As J_9 said, I'd take away the phone immediately.

I had to go visit the police before and I thought that it was an immediate "restraining order" if you went to file a report. That's not the case. You can simply go in, say that you want to file a report, tell the officer your story, and then leave. At that point, you can tell the man (and your daughter - she isn't stopping it) that you've filed a report with the police and that if he texts your daughter again, you will go back and take out a restraining order.

This is your family. You have every right to protect it.

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Originally Posted by gtpld

... there is a scary amount of texting going on between them at scary hours of the night as well. what can i expect from a trip to the police?

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Is the content of the texted messages scary too? That's one of the first things I would think the police would want to know.

Also what state is this because some states have different laws concerning consent. If the messages aren't sexual in nature then it would be hard to do anything about. Have you gotten copies of the messages yet ?

There are no laws that address a 40 yr old texting a 17 yr old. There would probably be an issue if the texts were of a sexual nature. Though its likely she is over the age of consent.

Since this is a man who goes to your church, I would definitely get your clergyman involved.

I am, however, not confident the police will do anything about it at this point. At least not without proof of the content of the texts.