The other night me and my boyfriend had a fight. I pushed him with not even that much force, we verbally fought for a few min and the police showed up. When I admitted to pushing him, he told them I didn't. They arrested me and brought me to jail.. when I was released I signed the agree not see see each other. The fight wasn't even that big and neither of us called the police, it was the neighbours. What can really happen and I know my boyfriend won't want to press charges against me so what can I do, I've already enrolled myself in anger management for my own punishment. But I have no idea what is going to happen to me.

I don't know which State you are in but I believe your boyfriend is a witness. The entity pressing charges is the State. He cannot withdraw the charges because he didn't place them.

My feeling is that although you don't think the fight was that big, if the neighbors were concerned enough to call the Police and there was an arrest, it was a big enough fight to concern the authorities.

You may get a fine; you may get probation; you most probably will have to take anger management classes (which you are already doing).

I live in Canada (Ontario). The neighbors are always complaining of something.. I get home at midnight from work and I will walk around, ge ready for bed and they will broom the floor that Im walking to loud and that happens about 3 times a week, I know the floors are paper thin cause I can pretty much hear every word that is said when they are talking loud so I oculd just imagine what they can hear from us, but that is no excuse. I overheard the cops saying that they don't know who made the call, they did not wish to be spoken too or contacted in any way Im honestly just scared of going to jail I'm not even telling my parents about this and he hasn't even told his..

I don't see jail if no one was injured - and apparently no one is.

Again, an argument loud enough to disturb the neighbors, an argument resulting in an arrest is not a minor argument. I'm not excusing the neighbors but I think you have to look at this for what it is.

And neighbors? I am engaged to someone who has two vehicles. MY neighbor (who apparently has nothing better to do) told another neighbor (who, of course, couldn't WAIT to tell me) that I am cheating on my fiancé with a guy "in a van."

Same guy - different vehicle.

Some people have nothing better to do. I hope this is your situation... but there was an arrest.

Yes its very difficult situation for me. I was only arrested cause I admitted to pushing him, he swore that I didn't even touch him to the police and the people that interviewed him. SO I guess I just have to wait and see what is going to happen. I have to wait for those papers before I can get the agree not to see each other thing lifted and that will take approximatly 2 weeks. So now I'm all alone in my partment caue I don't want to tell anyone.. but I guess I have to take responsibility for my actions.

And you have taken responsibility - I see no attempts by you to make this anything other than what it was.

And for that you should be applauded, by the way.

Thnak you! That really cheered me up because I'm really trying to make this alrigt and to make things better.

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Originally Posted by verysadgirl

thnak you!! that really cheered me up because i m really trying to make this alrigt and to make things better.

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I'm a stranger and you don't have to believe me but sometimes things happen just so we see where we might be headed and so that things change.

Consider this a wake up call.

Go to anger management class if they require it, pick up some pointers and come back and post them here (and I'm not kidding. We have very angry people posting all the time... and sometimes I'm one of them and what you learn will certainly help someone else, which is what this is all about) and move on.

You'll be fine - really, you will

But come back and let us know, okay?

Thnak you so much for being so supportive, I have my frist class on Friday, and yes I'm going voluntarily, the court has not ordered me, I think it will help me grow s a person and help me control my anger easily. I will def post some pointers to help others out because I would really hate for others to be in the position.

Im a very shy quiet girl, I've never been in any big trouble, I dotn even remember ever getting grounded by my parents. PEople at my restaurant are always running up to me and hugging me for thanking me for giving them good service, and Sunday night, I made a big mistake, I just hope people don't make this mistake. Me and my boyfriend have been going out now for four years, when he was diagnosed with bipolar I sat with him everyday at the hospital from 9am-9pmfor a month and a half, it hurts me so much to be away from him, and I know its killing him too. And because of my mistakes now I'm sitting here alone for the at least the next two weeks because I refuse to tell my parents what happened and now I just have to suffer, and trust me this is a big eye opener for me. I just never realized what one little push and a verbal argument could really do, now it is one of my biggest regrets of my life.

Yes, but remember if you signed not to see each other, and get caught together before you go to court it may be worst.

The courts and police have gotten so tired of the victiim not wanting to press charges, or have the person arrested so most states don't even give the police officer a choice, in many if the officer knows there was an assult, he must arrest them, if he does not there is about a 15 page report he must fill out, and he can even be held perosnally liable if there is further abuse that day by those people.

Also with the courts, tired so most will not drop any charges even if victiim asks.

If you don't have an attorney get one and work out deal for as less as you can

We def haven't seen or talked to each other, I'm way to paranoid and afriad to even think of it at the moment. From what I've overheard the police talking, I told them I didn't touch him, I was the one who admitted to pushing him, I'm working on getting a lawyer but I have to wait till these forms come in before I can get a free legal aid. I live in canada so I think the charges and courts work differently. I don't believe I will be put in jail but I will definitely be taking responsibility if they do decide to press charges but I'm just curious what those charges will entail.

I also don't see jail time - it will "probably" be simple assault, but that's a guess. I have seen the charges reduced to disturbing the peace, also.

So will any of those effect me on doing things like crossing the border into the states? Cause I travel a lot with my family and I'm just worried that they will find out, wich I don't want to happen

It's hard to know what info is transmitted to Homeland Security. Yes, it might.