Every bi woman I have dated cheated on me with women. I find out they are bi after the fact and feel bad if I reject them based solely on the fact they are bi. I have told each one how I feel about cheating which is if I'm not around and you kiss or do anything sexual with someone else male or female is cheating. Bi women seem to think vag on vag contact is not cheating, they all agree then I catch them all cheating. I have offered to stay with a couple of them only if I could have a girl on the side also, they all seem to get mad and think I'm an for saying that. Bi sexuals seem very selfish and only concerned with their own satisfaction and don't care who satisfies them. So my question is my current girlfriend is bi I have told her all this stuff she promises to be true and she doesn't even desire girls now but I have heard it all before. Should I trust her?

I have to say your sweeping assumptions about bi women are both rude and untrue.

But having said that, there are an abundance of straight women out there that have no attraction to women and they may cheat on you too, just it will be with a male.

I think you need to start looking past the 'bi' label and start looking at your choice of women.

Finally I don't think you are mature enough to be in a relationship with anyone at the moment if you are so fast to judge on what you have known before. To be honest, if I was your current girlfriend I wouldn't be able for all this. The accusations will fly as soon as she engages in a conversation with a woman.

You are never going to feel comfortable with this or any other relationship until you deal with the abandonment issues you have.

No one can tell you whether this or any human will cheat. So until you are able to take the good with the bad and are satisfied that the risk is worth the reward, you should stay away from committed relationships.

But 4 bi women all do it. I can't believe its my choice in women. I have been with my current girlfriend 4 years so your accusation point is moot.

If you don't trust her after four years why are you still with her?

I do trust her but my buddy wife cheated on him with a girl and it just brought all this back to me. Bi just seem greedy. If you offered me either steak or shrimp and I said both you would think I was a greedy bastard, wats the difference. Who is to say she hasn't cheated on me I don't go through her stuff and follow her around but it's a trend I see going on and I see no proof the other way

I also came home from work the other day and she had a friend over who was sitting on my couch spread eagle I could see it all and they kept giggling about something. Just seems fishy (no pun intended). I asked what they were doing and I just got "oh nothin"

Should you trust your bi girlfriend? Yes. Why? Because your in a relationship with her. How are you going to be with someone and not trust them. Relationship and trust go hand in hand.

Perhaps the bi women you have gotten to know ARE indeed selfish-- but that does not mean that ALL bi women are this way. That would be like me saying all Italian men are stingy momma's boys. Just because I have experienced this doesn't mean that every Italian man is this way.

So really it comes down to you big boy. Are you going to trust her or are you going to keep second guessing yourself when it comes to her?

Hmmmm? So I should ignore the couch thing and when her friend comes over she sits next to her on the couch not me. Your right worrying about won't fix anything and if she is a liar ill find out eventually. But if she does do it I will never trust or date a bi women ever again.

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Originally Posted by bigswarz

Hmmmm? so i should ignore the couch thing and when her friend comes over she sits next to her on the couch not me. your right worrying about wont fix anything and if she is a liar ill find out eventually. but if she does do it i will never trust or date a bi women ever again.

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No you talk to her about it. You don't jump to conclusions, that just drives YOU crazy and creates more problems and that's just not fun.

Your right if she is lying you will find out eventually.

Now I don't remember if you mentioned this or not but has she actually cheated on you before?

This is also a shot in the dark but would inviting another woman in the bedroom be an option for you? Just sayin'...

I've never met a man having a problem with "their women" being bi just as long as they can be a part of the whole bi experience.

Not sure if that helped but I just threw it out there.

Saying you'll never date another bi woman ever again is well a little silly. There are a lot of bi women in the world today, like a lot, I mean I have not met another straight "never kissed or touched another female". Seriously, it's like a giant trend [is that offensive?]. Well it's like "the thing to do" in my end of the world anyway. So good luck trying to find a super straight woman - eeps!

You should talk to you girlfriend though. If this is such a huge problem for you though and you can't seem to move on and your constantly beating her down with your insecurities then maybe it is time to break up and be alone for a while and work on that stuff.

Hope I helped. Good luck to you.

I don't think she has cheated. I also wouldn't date her seriously if threesomes were on the table. I don't want my girlfriend to like vagina as much as me its just weird and creepy. If I do find out id rather be alone and have meaningless sex I don't want homosexuality apart of MY world. If others want it fine but I should be able to choose that without being called a homophobe because I fear no homosexual as a threat to me

And I never beat her down with questions I probably hold things in too much because I don't want to offend her

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Originally Posted by bigswarz

I don't think she has cheated. I also wouldn't date her seriously if threesomes were on the table. I don't want my girlfriend to like vagina as much as me its just weird and creepy. If I do find out id rather be alone and have meaningless sex I don't want homosexuality apart of MY world. If others want it fine but I should be able to choose that without being called a homophobe because I fear no homosexual as a threat to me

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Hey that's fine-- that's your thing. To me it's a little shocking to hear a guy doesn't want a threesome--- it's kind of refreshing to hear this actually, thanks for that.

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and I never beat her down with questions I probably hold things in too much because I don't want to offend her

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Well you do need to talk to her. It's not like your going to say "I know your bi so how many women have you been with while you've been with me?".

You do however need to have the conversation that cheating is cheating to you even if it is with another woman [if you hadn't made that clear already]. Because your right, some bisexual women think it's okay to cheat with another woman, like it "doesn't count".

Talk to her, you need to do this in ANY relationship. Communication is key in a relationship. Otherwise it'll be harder to maintain a relationship and there is a lot of misunderstandings and guessing and well that's not a very good thing. You want to have a happy, healthy relationship not a stressful one.

I think you are playing games with us. You say that you have been dating her for FOUR years yet in another thread you state that you have a NEW girlfriend.

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Originally Posted by bigswarz

long story short i have a new gf and a nice beard.

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You attempt to blast us as judgmental (in the full post), but it seems you have your own problems being judgmental.

If you don't trust her, let her find someone who does.

If you can't stand the thought of what she may have done with a woman in the past or may do with one in the future (after you), then find a woman who fits your needs. Ask about their sexuality before you date them. You choose who you get in a relationship with. If you can't trust a person based on your past, then don't date or get serious with her.

I was saying when I had a problem with a previous girlfriend about my beard I left her and kept my beard.

Well here's another guy who would not enjoy a threesome. (Not with a girlfriend, anyway) Only we can have each other... that's special!

I think that you are entitled to be happy and secure in a relationship.

I can understand why you would be re-living the nightmares of relationships past, when your partner announces, after the fact, that they are bi.

But, in your case now, she has been faithful to you, although you have doubts after the couch thing- that seems weird to me too. If instinct is telling you something isn't quite right then you need to do two things.

Talk to her. Be confident and assertive- this is YOUR life! Ask her what's with the couch thing if you need to ask.

Tell her you are feeling a little less than 100% sure of her sexuality, and you'd like to know what's going on, if anything. Give her an opportunity to talk, and take the time to listen. Try not to be accusatory, or interrupt. At the same time, take the opportunity to be heard. Each of you deserve that in a relationship, and shouldn't be too hard to do considering you've been together for four years.

You don't need a reason, or proof, to end a relationship that isn't working for you. Sometimes it just isn't working anymore, and with you, it may not have anything to do with her sexual preferences, but everything to do with being afraid of being able to trust.

That's okay too, as long as you figure it out. If trust and fidelity are things you are unsure of, and always will be with this woman, then let her go.

If you can't communicate with each other honestly, and if there is a big trust issue, then really, what's the point.