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-   -   Why is this guy distancing himself like this and did he loose feelings for me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=434358)

  • Jan 12, 2010, 12:30 AM
    prettypeach20
    Why is this guy distancing himself like this and did he loose feelings for me?
    There was this boy that I met this summer at a college course. I saw him everyday for 6 months and became good friends with him. Anyway, once 6 months passed I had to go back to college which is 3.5 hrs away. He came to my college and told me that he REALLY liked me and that he should've admitted his feelings sooner. I admitted that I liked him back. We knew it was going to be long distance but we managed to see each other about once a week or every other week. The week after telling me I came home and we went out. He introduced me to his best friends, kissed me and all was good. The week after we were supposed to chill but he was sick so we didn’t but we set another day and chilled and it was good again. I didn’t see him the week after but I texted him and called him and he ignored both. The week after that, I saw him again and he admitted to ignoring my texts and calls and told me that he had relapsed on some hard drugs (Meth and many other things). Then he gave me a big hug and said sorry and when people asked if we were dating he responded by saying: maybe. I also messaged him a couple times after that and he responded so all was good. The next week I come home and I message him to chill again and he calls me back after a few days and says: “I know we had this little thing going on, but I don’t think we should continue to see each other anymore.” I understood and asked him if he wanted to continue being friends because I saw him as a good friend. He hesitated and responded by saying: “yes it would suck to lose a good friend.” He told me that there are many things going on in his life at the moment: his parents just divorced, his mother got laid off work, problems with his brother but he said him using hard drugs again was the main reason…(in total I dated this guy for about 1 ½ months) I didn’t talk to this guy for about 3 weeks but then I messaged him to chat and all was good. He also responded to any messages and texts that I sent him (I did NOT do this often). 2 months after the breakup, I asked if he wanted to chill this break. He responded by telling me which specific days he was free and also mentioned that we will stay in touch. I told him that those days work for me and picked one of the possible 5 days and suggested we do something then. He never responded (he DID receive the message). All of those days have passed now. I also randomly texted him last week and he responded to that so he isn’t ignoring me…at the same time, I feel that he is being very distant towardes me: he is meeting up with and talking to other people but not me unless I start talking to him...
    My questions for you guys:

    1. Does this guy really want to stay friends?
    2. Why would he give specific days if he didn’t want to see me?
    3. Why did this guy break up with me? Did he loose feelings for me?
    4. Did I do anything wrong?
    5. Do you think there is any chance of him talking to me again?
    6. What next steps should I take? (if any?)
    7. why is he distancing himself like this if we are friends?

    **Thanks for reading guys. I just saw this guy as a good friend thus I’m concerned for him. Thank you so much for the advice. I means a lot:)
  • Jan 12, 2010, 12:44 AM
    amicon
    Whatever feelings he had changed for whatever reasons.

    A huge red flag here is his drugtaking,which in the long run means he probably isn't even friendship material until ,and if,he manages to sort that out.

    Let this go,I don't think you need him as a friend in your life.

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