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-   -   Is my long distance relationship working? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=433619)

  • Jan 10, 2010, 12:31 AM
    bellisima44
    Is my long distance relationship working?
    Hi, I'm 22 yrs old and I'm currently in the military. I met my current boyfriend where I'm living now and we were dating and living together for a few months until he moved to his next duty station. We decided to do long distance since we fell in love but now it feels like I'm the only one putting in all the work. There is a 15 hr time difference and I know that it's hard for us to talk but is it really so much to ask for one phone call on the weekend? I send him e-mails and I know that he reads them, but he never takes the time to write me back. The last two phone calls that I have gotten from him were drunk calls. I'm planning on going to visit him next month because he is going to be deploying but right now I don't know if I should. I love him and I want to make this work but I'm tired of putting in all the effort. When I talk to him about this, and I have a few times, he apologizes and then fixes it for a little bit and then he goes back to not calling. This weekend is almost over and I haven't heard from him in 10 days. I'm just tired and I don't know if I'm over reacting. I just want to know if maybe I'm asking for too much or if I should ever stay in this relationship. I do want to make it work I just don't know if he does...
  • Jan 10, 2010, 12:39 AM
    mudweiser

    The fact that your last two calls were drunken was it doesn't really look good.

    How long have you and your boyfriend been together?

    Have you had a serious conversation with him, about where this relationship is heading or just simply if he still wants to be in this relationship? If not I suggest you have a conversation about. No tears, no yelling, no finger pointing-- but a real conversation.

    If your not happy and somewhere inside you, you want out then I suggest you go with that.

    You are only 22 years old and you do have a whole life ahead of you--- you may be sick of people telling you this by now but it's true.

    If something is not working for you then fix it or get rid of it.

    Good luck to you.

    Talk to him. See where things are. See how you feel.
  • Jan 10, 2010, 12:46 AM
    bellisima44

    We have talked about it. He says that he's in this relationship and like I said after we talk he gets better for a little while. I know that things are stressful for him now with him going to Afghanistan in March but things aren't easy for me here either. I do want this to work. I just don't want to become that girlfriend who always calls and e-mails. I would be OK with hearing from him once or twice a week. But I don't like going 2 weeks without hearing anything from him, not even a quick I'm sorry I'm really busy, talk to you later e-mail. I mean if he has time to read my e-mails then he can find a little time to write me that right?

    Oh and we have been seeing each other almost a year now
  • Jan 10, 2010, 01:04 AM
    mudweiser

    Hello you are in a long distance relationship. If he can go weeks without emailing, calling or texting you I don't think he's as much into this relationship as you are.

    You should really take a break from calling him and emailing him--- see if he tries to contact you or just completely ignore you.

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