I fell hard for this one girl a few years ago. We ended up being off and on for almost a year, I repeatedly broke up with her for cheating but took her back because of how forgiving I am. I was her first love and first girlfriend. I have friendly love feelings for her, but not of romantic love. She is aware of my engagement and my lack of "feelings" for her. I have similar problems with two boys. She tells me she loves me and how much she wishes she had another chance. I feel terrible for making her unhappy, but I'm happy for once with someone who's treating me well. How do I get her to leave me be and accept that I'll only be her friend

I has a ex who would try her luck years after we were together. I tried everything. I tried explaining to her nicely it hurts me to see her. It prolongs my healing process. It gives me flashbacks of good times and bad times. We were over and done with.

I tried everything. Eventually I could just not take it anymore. So I ended up verbally abusing her so bad she cried and ran away. It worked. But is not recommended. But its very easy if someone doesn't get the hint after 5 years.

You tell her you are happier without her in your life as your girlfriend, and that's that. If she cannot understand and respect that you cannot be friends with someone like that.

Be firm and direct

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Originally Posted by LJDK

I has a ex who would try her luck years after we were together. I tried everything. I tried explaining to her nicely it hurts me to see her. It prolongs my healing process. It gives me flashbacks of good times and bad times. We were over and done with.

I tried everything. Eventually i could just not take it anymore. So i ended up verbally abusing her so bad she cried and ran away. It worked. But is not reccomended. But its very easy if someone doesnt get the hint after 5 years.

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You're advising someone to verbally abuse someone else? Under no circumstances is abuse acceptable, period! This is bad advice.

To the OP: you have to stop worrying about causing her unhappiness. That sounds harsh, but you must be (as Rome said) firm with her. Tell her that you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with her, you are very happy with your fiance', and you will be getting married on XX date.

Tell her that you would like to remain friends, but if she continues to try and "seduce" you into rekindling a relationship, you cannot continue contact.

You don't have to be mean about it, just be firm.

Best of luck.

I tell her all the time. She just won't accept it.

Then you have to cut ties with her. Sad to say but it has to be done

*Sigh* is it really necessary?

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I tell her all the time. She just won't accept it.

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Exactly as Rome said, you cut ties with her.

I've had to change my phone number because an ex wouldn't stop pestering me to "come back" to him. It creates chaos and is a pain the bum, but sometimes it must be done.

And, the piece of mind that results in KNOWING that when the phone rings or you receive a text, it is NOT from the ex? That's worth it.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

*Sigh* is it really necassary?

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Well, no. I guess not. Not if you want to live with the constant barrage of "take me back," "I can make you happy," "Don't you love me?"

But if you want to stop it, then yes. It is necessary.

It stinks and it's a pain. I know. :o

Well let's weigh the options here. You cut ties, and the problem goes away. OR you don't cut ties and your fiancé gets tired of the fact you won't cut a pestering ex out of your life. Put yourself in your fiance's shoes, how would you feel if an ex kept trying to win her back and she didn't cut him out of her life?

I can't change my number, but I can have mum call the phone company and block her. Mum hates her.

My fiancé is male. And he doesn't mind as long as I don't welcome it.

I tried blocking the ex on my phone. Hopefully your phone company allows that. That would be SO MUCH easier than getting a new number.

Best of luck!

Thanks. I'd get a new number if it didn't cost 50 bucks