My brother molested me for most or all of my childhood. My mother finall asked me when I was about 12 and I told her. She never told anyone but one of my sisters and kept him in the house. The only reason he stopped was because I began to fight him. She never asked me if he was trying to do it again and still left me alone with him. Growing up she never celebrated anything for me or treated me special. She fed me and clothed me yes, but never took me anyplace or gave me a party or showed me any affection. I looked for love in other places and got pregnant at 14. She behaved as I was just fast and a bad child. Later in life I left home to go to school and I did all the work alone in getting into school and housing and left my son. After about 2 years I dropped out and got my son. She was telling him that I was no good and I left him there and was going to ruin him. My dad gave me a car and that was all I ever got from that day until now I'm 35 years old. Mother's day, Christmas, Thanksgiving and her birthday I give her gifts, cards and flowers. I never receive anything not even a call to say she received the flowers. Instead she tells me what's wrong with me. She never calls me and never comes to my house. She complains when I don't come to her or call her. She even has given my brother my phone number and told me I need to forgive him and asked me to get life insurance for my brother because he can't afford. My now 20 year old son just had a baby and I'm very excited and even turned his old room into a nursey/guest room. When I told her about it she said well I thought that was going to be my room you don't have no room for me and that she was here before the baby. Then finished by saying she wasn't excited about the baby because she was sick and I'm so excited about the baby I don't need to forget about her. Thing is for the past 4 mohts I have been going to her house cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, bring gifts, giving her baths and any other thing she asked me to do because she was taking kemo treatments for breast cancer. What can I do to protect myself against her poison how do I even cope with this?

Hey Tummy,
Wow you have been through a lot in your lifetime, a lot more than many people would have gone through. My parents ignore me and I'm adopted but they don't even treat me as their son just some stranger in the house. I try not to listen to what they say to me because they never intend on giving me what I seek and desire, the love and affection I missed out on. Do you have anyone in your family who can go with you and make it easier for you to be able to handle rather than you going alone?

Hi tummy,

There are several things in my opinion that your Mother should have done many years ago.
Your brother should not have been allowed to get away with what he has done to you, this has obviously affected you through out your life.
It would seem that your Mother appears to blame you, rather than face up to this abuse get it out into the open and deal with it.This often happens rather than blame herself for letting it continually happen under her roof,she has shifted the burden to what was then very young shoulders, in a bid that it is nothing to do with her eventually hoping that you would forget about it.
This was never going to happen,you need to talk about these incidences to allow them to heal.

It seems that because of this abuse, your Mother has ( maybe not intentionally )separated you from the rest of your family, not including you in celebrations etc.you could almost say that she denies it ever happened, not outwardly but inside her own mind.
Perhaps this was the only way she could deal with the situation at the time, however it did happen and you really need to talk the whole story through with a counciller who is proffesionally trained for this very purpose, if not a very close friend who will sit and listen and give you support.

I think you should enjoy your new baby... many congratulations to all of you... take comfort in the fact that no matter how you have been treated,you are the better person for helping as much as you can now,however I do think you should have some restbite in the situation with your Mother,maybe someone else could come in every other day and do the chores or what ever your Mother needs doing at the time,that way you would at least have a break.

Your story saddens me,Mother and daughter shouldn't be like this, perhaps when you have healed and you feel much more confident,you could appeal to her better nature sit down have a girly chat, maybe heal a few wounds.

Who knows it might be what she really wants deep down,but just doesn't know how to go about it.

I wish you love and luck in you life, the past is exactly that... past.. look foreword to a lovely future with this gift of a new life, a new beginning for you all.

Take care