There is this joke called the early bird, but all I remember of it is this farmer in the end says shut the f**ck up and slams the birds head with the window? A friend wants this, so thought I ask here.

Could it be this one...


I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
Brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his F.. King head.

Yep that is it thanks

Maybe this is not exactly what you are looking for, but its worth it

A parrot comes to a shopkeeper and says " Do you have mango?"
The shopkeeper replies "No, we don't sell mangoes"
Next day again, the same parrot comes to the shop and ask "Do you sell mangoes?"
The shopkeeper without bothering says "NO, we don't sell mangoes".
Next day again, the Parrot comes and ask the same question "Do you sell mangoes?" This time bit furious, the shopkeeper replies " how many times I have to tell you, that I don't sell mangoes? Next time if you ask me the same question, i will break your teeth with hammer!"
Next day bit afraid of what the shopkeeper had said the previous day, asks again " Do you have hammer?"
"No"
"well, do you have mango?"
" Just get the hell out of here, I don't have mango nor I have hammer!!!"
Next day, before the parrot comes to the shop, the shopkeeper has the hammer this time, ready to be slammed down at the bird. As expected the bird comes," Do you have ham......" SLAM!! And the bird loose all his teeth.
Yet next day, the parrot comes and asks the same question in his huffed voice "Do you sell mango juice?"