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-   -   Help breaking out of my shell (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=431067)

  • Jan 3, 2010, 05:28 PM
    dgurl123
    Help breaking out of my shell
    I am 14. I am not shy to be myself around my best friends. But when it comes to some family and friends, I become really shy. Anyone have tips for me? What can I talk about with people. And to top it off never been in a relationship.just sayn'.
    I also want to be a actress dancer singer. And I wannna break out of my shell, I can perform in front of people, but not small crowds like family or friends. I want help please!
  • Jan 3, 2010, 10:04 PM
    Clough
    Hi, dgurl123!

    What sort of activities do you already have available in school for you to perform in front of others, please?

    Thanks!
  • Feb 8, 2010, 01:03 PM
    redhed35

    Joining a drama group or youth club will boost your confidence.

    Sing,out loud,just sing along to the radio,being vocal takes practice if your used to hanging back.

    Join a choir.

    Reading out loud also helps,get to know the sound of your voice,listen to the news,I know your only 14 but reading the papers etc will broaden your conversational topics.
  • Feb 13, 2010, 11:17 AM
    Glove And Gavel

    Hi Dgurl,
    The best way to come up with conversation topics is to continuously educate yourself. What I mean is -- read everything you can get your hands on. Be hungry for knowledge. Eventually you will have so much that you will want to dispense it to people; and then conversational ability should come with that.
    You might and probably will be more attracted to reading about things you like. When you find others with those same interests, conversations about these things will flow naturally.
    In the case where conversations do not flow naturally, don't blame yourself. There are two people (or more) in every conversation. People who are interested in getting to know you will make the attempt to connect with you by keeping conversation. However, sometimes there isn't enough chemistry and that's nobody's fault.
    In response to the shyness: try doing a lot of social, group activities, rather than solo ones. Don't spend too much time on instant messenger programs because they create a false sense of social ability.
    In response to the singer/dancer/actress: it's great that you have ambitions! That's a good start! Now that you have an idea of what you want, you need to T.R.Y – and go for it!
    Good luck and let us know how it goes!
  • Feb 16, 2010, 05:12 PM
    rubyGM

    Try slowly getting yourself out there. Don't do anything too drastic just start in small steps. I use to be just like that and started coming out of my shell when I was 18. I was extremely shy and scared to death of rejection. But I just took small steps and now at 21 I'm a social butterfly and found it to be so easy I wonder how silly I was to be so scared!

    Join a club with like minded people or maybe start small by hanging out with some of your best friend's other friends. Knowing you have your best friend at your side will help you out a lot and keep you positive. Trust me it works.
  • Feb 19, 2010, 06:34 PM
    Glove And Gavel

    That's a really nice story Ruby. I think a lot of the time we set limits on our own social abilities by saying "I can't" or "I want this now". The key here is to take things slow . Making good decisions that will bring you esteem rather than social disfavour is important as well.

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