I think I have put myself in the worst situation I have ever come across...

I have a newly discovered best friend, we have always been good friends but out friendship moved to a new level, we discovered we have more in common than two people could even hope to share, we also discovered that a few years ago we both had feelings for one another. We dismissed these fairly quickly as he is getting married end of 2006, and me, well I have a lovely partner and a beautiful little boy.

So far it sounds not too bad... but wait... he is getting married... yes... but his bride to be isn't exactly what you would call a nice person, she is snappy and nasty to him, he was doubting the marriage and I spoke to him about it.

We both have fairly dirty minds and would throw in a rude joke here and there.

It all stayed fairly innocent until one day... we decided to meet up with out our other halves, because my partner is a very jealous man and well he can't understand how his bestmate wants to talk to his 'wife', he knows we chat and confide in each other.

Any way to cut a long story short, I love him, we slept together a few times and he love me too, but, he is still getting married in a month or so, I am a bridesmaid for his fiancée and my partner is his best man.

I have really screwed up this time... but I love him so much. I don't get the same feelings from my partner, but I don't want to leave him for my daughters sake, after all he is a beautiful man, its just the love is lost for me.

Please help I am going insane thinking about it all...

So, what is up with married, or soon to be married, men and cheating all of the sudden today??

No, I am sure you do not think she is a nice person, nor does she, or would she think you are a nice person.

Does he really love you or is he telling you this so that he can keep you, like a kept woman, whenever he wants to bed you down? How can you be sure he loves you?

Oh, yeah, you have a partner and a daughter. Girl!! Do you have any idea how you will ruin your daughter's life??

Make yourself an honest person and drop him.

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Originally Posted by J_9

So, what is up with married, or soon to be married, men and cheating all of the sudden today????

No, I am sure you do not think she is a nice person, nor does she, or would she think you are a nice person.

Does he really love you or is he telling you this so that he can keep you, like a kept woman, whenever he wants to bed you down? How can you be sure he loves you?

Oh, yeah, you have a partner and a daughter. Girl!!!!!!!!!! Do you have any idea how you will ruin your daughter's life????

Make yourself an honest person and drop him.

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He does love me, that is not the issue, I know he does.

We have concluded the sexual relashionship but we still support each other emotionaly.

I am a young yummy mummy and my partner and I were only together for a short time before I fell pregnant.

I love my baby more than life it self and would do anything, And although this wasn't a good choice for my child, I needed to feel like something more than a 22 yr old mum and house wife.

I just haven't felt so good in a long time he made me feel special and he knows what I'm thinking all the time, it is actually scary how well we know each other, where as my partner is young and immature, he loves me and would do anything for me and our child... but is love always enough?

I am very very confused about my feelings... even if I leave my partner it will not be for his best mate.. if I leave I will be alone for a while...

Of course he does not love you, or he would ask you to run away with him, or at least he would not be getting married.

He is like many men, likeing to have sex with varoius women for fun.
A lot of men do it, and if he is cheating on his soon to be wife with you, he would just as easy sleep with someone else telling them how no one understands him still.

And you need not to be in his wedding, not contact him again for any reason, and start working on the relastionship with your partner

Can you tell us how you "know he does?" Is he marrying you with no involvement with other women?

If he loved you he would be with you and only you. This is a line some men love to keep their women in bed.

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I have really screwed up this time... but I love him so much. I don't get the same feelings from my partner, but I don't want to leave him for my daughters sake, after all he is a beautiful man, its just the love is lost for me.

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So you have made the same mistake that all who fall for cheaters make, You listen to them and believe them. They tell you what you want to hear "I LOVE YOU". Now you love him so much you are confused about it. Of course you are confused, because you not only crossed the line, you fell all over it. Your husbands best friend? That goes over real good, and strengthens your confused argument. Makes me wonder if all those cheaters and the ones they cheat with, put half the honest effort into their marriages or relationships as they do with their forbbin lovers, would there be a need to cheat? If this guy loves you so much can you tell me why he is marrying this nasty horrible female anyway? Why not runaway with his true love and live happily ever after. Oh that right, you STOPPED giving him sex, so he may as well get married. Honestly you are not the only one who is confused,. so am I!

I said he loved me... I never said he was in love with me...

He has made his choice... I respect that, but it doesn't make me feel any better..

The whole reason we slept together in the first place was to just share that moment with each other.. so we would have something to hold on to... but now I'm just unsure where my own life is headed..

I know what I did was wrong... but I wouldn't change it.

The whole reason we slept together in the first place was to just share that moment with each other.. so we would have something to hold on to... but now I'm just unsure where my own life is headed..

I know what I did was wrong... but I wouldn't change it.[/QUOTE]

How can a girl be so silly, she goes to bed with a guy he gets his rocks off and she has something to hold on to, and he goes to mary another woman. If I remember right I saw this show and many more like it.
If a guy is going to be a sorry son-of-a and f**k around on his wife then why doesn't he just get a maid instead and nt mess up the life of the girl he marries, getting her pregnant, keeping her at home tending to kids and he is off getting his wick wet where ever he can, and if he gets a STD she will suffer just as much as he will because you know he will not be man enough to tell her he has it, he will just spread it.

No no no he is not like that...

I

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said he loved me... I never said he was in love with me...

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Is that like fools gold and real gold?

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I know what I did was wrong... but I wouldn't change it

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So what's all the confusion about?

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no no no he is not like that...

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You have issues that need to be dealt with by a professional, you are more hurt than you realise.

He is the most beautiful man I have ever met...

And although what we did was wrong we have the most respect for each other..
He asks nothing of me.. and I expect nothing... we have actually been talking allot today, I feel a lot better..

We shared something beautiful together... we made love.. and yes it wasn't under the ideal circumstances but at least we know now.. we couldn't ever be together we know each other too well... we read each others minds.. we are best friends we did what we did because we needed to. Now its out of our system we will move on and be happy with the life we have chosen.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I
Is that like fools gold and real gold?

So what's all the confusion about?

You have issues that need to be dealt with by a professional

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I don't have 'issues' I fell in love with someone I shouldn't have.. that part was not suppose to happen...

And if our cirucumstances were different if we knew then what we know now.. we probably would have been together but is that is not a risk we are willing to take... I can't destroy my partner and my child, and he is the same with is 'wife' we are not prepared to risk it on a maybe..

I am probably not making much sense... I can tell by the responses I'm getting..

We slept together twice.. in 2 weeks that's it.. it wasn't an ongoing thing... we just needed to know what each other was like... all we wanted was to see what we missed out on.

I is wrong yes...
I love him.. I always will... but... I have a family.. I was selfish and that is wrong if they ever found out they would be so hurt.. but I did it for me.. I wanted to feel free just one last time...

I would never sleep with someone I don't know or love. And I will never allow myself to do it again.. that much I know..

I may not know where my life is headed... I will figure it out...

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I am probably not making much sense... I can tell by the responses I'm getting..

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OLG-I am so curious as to what responses where you looking for? I would honestly like to know.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

OLG-I am so curious as to what responses where you looking for? I would honestly like to know.

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I don't really know, but I wasn't expecting every one to make him out as a sly dog. He isn't actually like that.

Although cheating is wrong I know that I'm not stupid. There is not justification.
We are only human I craved a feeling of freedom and passion and he the same. Now we have discussed what went on, he wasn't using me.

I know you probably don't believe that. But we are bestfriends.

I suppose I wanted some guidance as to what to do next.

Because I don't feel guilty... does that mean I don't love my partner?

I think the conclusion I came to today is that I have allot of work to do on my relashionship, see I fell pregs about 4 months in, we didn't know each other well we didn't have fun and do what 'normal' couples do... I went from being a happy go lucky 17 yr old to a mother... and it was hard.. but I am a good mum.. I love my child.. I love my partner to.. maybe I need to put more effort into finding the love and fire there instead.