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-   -   Uncomfortable in this relationship (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=430956)

  • Jan 3, 2010, 11:44 AM
    madin-
    Uncomfortable in this relationship
    I am currently going out with this boy but I don't really like it and I go out with him because I have nothing better to do. I have been going out with him for one month now and I want to stop this relationship before it gets deeper as he is thinking of us getting serious. What must I tell him?
  • Jan 3, 2010, 11:47 AM
    redhed35

    You could try, sorry,this is really not working out for me.. goodbye.

    Don't do it over the phone or text.

    Don't be mean or give hope where there's none.

    Don't say,lets be friends.

    Quick and easy is the way to go.

    One more thing,don't go out with someone if you don't really like them!

    Date first,get to know them and then the relationship.
  • Jan 3, 2010, 01:27 PM
    madin-

    sorry,this is really not working out for me.. goodbye.
    He'll ask for a reason =/ what should I say?
  • Jan 3, 2010, 01:29 PM
    redhed35
    That you jumped in too quickly,he's a nice guy (assuming that he is).. but it not working for you.

    You don't owe him a full indept conversation about it.

    But respect him to tell him face to face..

    Be clear and concise... its only been a month.

    And then go no contact.. at all.. nothing.
  • Jan 3, 2010, 01:30 PM
    amicon

    Tell him the truth,you don't see it as developing into a longterm relationship. The truth is always the best choice.
  • Jan 3, 2010, 01:32 PM
    Devorameira
    It seems like you are worried about hurting your boyfriend’s feelings. That is very nice of you, but if things aren’t working out and you’ve only been staying in the relationship because you don’t want to hurt him, you are actually hurting him more.

    If you're uncomfortable talking face to face, you might want to get your thoughts together by first writing a breakup letter to get really clear on why you want to break up and also to acknowledge the positive impact he's had in your life. Hold on to the letter a few days to be sure you still feel the same way and be sure you’re not just impulsive. After you’ve read over the letter several times and know definitively that you want to break up, tell him you need to talk to him (in person). Meet him in a public place and tell him you have been doing some soul-searching and have come to a hard decision (he’ll know where its heading). Explain why you are breaking up "I need to be alone for a while," "we've grown apart", whatever is true for you...Then tell him that you wrote him a letter to let him know how much he has meant to you. Be nice, calm and sincere, but keep it brief. Then head out of there! Good luck!
  • Jan 5, 2010, 11:11 AM
    talaniman
    Tell the truth, why don't you, and let him know its not working out for you, because your just not interested in him, just bored with yourself.
  • Jan 5, 2010, 11:33 AM
    ohsohappy

    Just be honest with him.

    Say something like "I know you really like me, but to be honest, I really don't think I feel the same way about you. I think that I jumpped in to this without really thinking about it. I'm not trying to hurt you, but I think it's better if we dont' see eachother like this anymore, because I don't want you to expect for it to get deeper, and then having this happen later. I hope you understand that I'm just trying to be honest with you."

    That's just kind of an idea, of course do it in your own words.

    Good luck. :)

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