Hi, I'm 14 years old (just so you know) and I barely have a relationship with my mom. In fact, I think she doesn't even care about me anymore. I honestly think she favors my older brother. She always yells at me for something he did. Plus I have chores but he doesn't. To make matters worse, my dad abandoned me, my brother, and my mom when I was only a month old. She got remarried when I was about 5. Everything was good at first, but then he started to change. He was an alcoholic and used to hit me. When I tried to tell my mom, she ignored me even though I had bruises and cuts from him. When I was 11 she cheated on him for the nextdoor neighbor who is 25 years older than her. She divorced one and married the other within the same year. But just yesterday he pulled my hair and forced me to the ground and started hitting me all because I accidentally said f**k when I was playing my videogame. She didn't even stop him. This is a patteren though. She always blames me for my dad leaving us, for my 1st stepdad abusing me, and for all the fights she getts into with this guy. I'm scared it might be worse next time and he might hurt me or my mom. Yet she doesn't listen to me. And I'm not doing too well in school. Yesterday she said I was stupid and if I didn't pull my act together she is going to kick me out of the house. She is my mother. She should care about me and try to help me when I'm having a hard time. But she just ignores me. I did nothing to deserve any of this. But I'm so confused right now that I don't know what to do. I just feel hurt that niether one of my parents care about me. If she had it her way she would probably kick me to the curb and leave me for the wolves just like my dad did... I don't know, maybe she is right and all of this is my fault...

It is never okay, to hit, punch, kick, etc. a child. Under ANY circumstances. Even if you are the worst kid in the world to manage, there are many alternatives that adults are well aware of, when it comes to disciplining a teenager.

I would encourage you to speak to a counsellor or teacher at school, and ask for help. Another adult needs to intervene and see what's going on. You should not be in a position where you feel threatened with physical abuse, or abandonment.

Is he physically abusive with your mother and your brother as well?

Because you have painted yourself as having no contributing factors to the level of stress and upset in your house, I have to take much of what you say with a grain of salt. I do not doubt that your step father has abused you, that issue is nothing short of criminal on his part and I'm not questioning it.

What I am saying in addition to the abuse issue, is that there must be additional problems in the house, that contribute to the overall level of stress.

There are options. In addition to taking steps to protect yourself, there are parenting classes, and family counselling. There are ways that every member of the family can contribute in constructive ways to improve the overall quality of family life in your home.

It isn't up to you to mend your parents' marriage, that is up to them. But it has to start somewhere.

Maybe you taking steps for yourself to stop the abuse is a good start.

I would like to add that it is NOT your fault. As adults we are the ones who are suppose to be at a higher standard then our children and raise them so they may live a fruitful and happy life. Jake is right. What you are describing IS abuse. And your mom should never allow anyone to put a hand on you. That is why you need to get help from the outside. Talk to a teacher or if you go to church talk to a minister. Is there a school nurse where you go ? You can talk to them too. All of this IS NOT your fault. Since your dad hasn't seen you you really don't know the whole story behind the breakup. Your only hearing one very bitter side. As your going to learn there are 2 sides to every story. But try to talk to somebody and keep your head up high. You made it here so you can't be stupid. So take the next step. Get some help.

Either report that or tell a teacher at school. Be aware that they will confront her and your mother may lie and try to harm you further when you are alone, but try to stay away from her. DOn't run away but tyr to see if you can live with another relative.

Hi First of all, NONE of this is your fault. You are not an adult yet and you should be able to rely on the people closest to you to act in an adult, mature and responsible way. I don't want to rubbish your family but these people aren't any of these things.
You remind me of me at your age ( I am 48 now). Trapped, miserable, feeling let down and depressed. One thing I realised was that my escape route was through school and getting qualifications. You must do the same. Forget the past. You are young enough to turn your performance around. Concentrate on school, put all your energies into getting good grades, focus on this and only this, because good grades will be your passport out of your environment. Don't allow any of them drag you down or put you off your goal. Don't tell anyone what your goal is. Let them think you are working hard to please them. And when you are finally free of that hell hole, with good grades and a good job you will be able to put your own roof over your head and you will be in control of your life and not them. It may seem a long time away but concentrate on your school work and you will be amazed how quickly the time flies by. Good luck. Keep positive. All the best. Michelle