For sake of this question, my name is John, and my girlfriend's name is Tina. Oh, and sorry for the long story.

My question is quite simple. Is my girlfriend obsessed with me? And I don't want you to think I'm being harsh, so I'll give you some background.

Tina and I have been going out for about 2 years, and I love her, and she loves me. We're both 18 going on 19, and I am Tina's first boyfriend. Like any couple, we have our ups and downs, have small, stupid arguments once in a while, but overall, I would say out relationship is healthy... that is, until I bring up my question. Tina feels the need, to constantly talk to me, and the need to constantly see me. And, of course I understand, I love her, I love talking to her, and seeing her, just as much as the next couple does this sort of thing. We see each other about 3-4 times a week, and while we might not go out a lot, we just like to be in each others company. Unfortunately, this has started to affect my relationship with my good friends, because Tina just ALWAYS wants to see me when I'm free. She will tet me constantly, and insists that we talk online (via AIM, or iChat) every night, usually until she's tired, because if I want to go, she's not ready. Most of the time, that'll be around 1:00-2:00 AM.

Every night, probably on average from 10:30-1:30. That's 3 hours of "talking," on top of the texting, the phone calls, and hanging out together. I love her, but when it gets to a point where we have nothing to really say to each other, but she insists on staying online... I think there may be a problem. Also, tonight, for example, I was at my friends house, just getting home at 4:00 AM. While texting through 1/2 the night, (my phone "died") she told me that she wants to stay up and talk to me when I get home... at 4 AM. I tell her that there's no need, it's fine if you want to go to sleep... actually I insisted that she sleep, but she was stubborn about it. It is now 4:40 AM, and while I would love to go to sleep, Tina feels the need to talk... and we're not even talking. Or barely talking.. about nothing.

Tina just can't seem to get enough of me... and yeah, she loves me, and I love her, but isn't there a time when you just have to say, "enough?" My friends and brother continuously comment on how it seems out of hand, and they are asking me what we can possibly be talking about all of the time. My response is always the same... "I have no idea."

So.. I'm curious as to what the users on here have to say. And I'm sorry for any run-on sentences, or the run-on paragraphs. Maybe I just needed someplace to put my thoughts/worries. I would really appreciate your thoughts, however, and perhaps some advice on how to handle this "obsession."

Thanks a lot.

Oh, also... perhaps something to be pointed out. Tina doesn't have much friends. She has two close friends, one that she is currently sick of because they go to school together, and are in all of the same classes together, and the other is so busy with school work and everything else under the sun that she never gets to see them. I'm assuming this is why she's latched onto me from the beginning.. and at first the attention was wonderful, but now it's too much. Anyway, just something I thought I should add... thanks.

You need to tell her this,in a calm reasonable manner. This relationship is suffocating and you must step back and put some space between the two of you. Everyone needs to have a social life that doesn't include their partner. Your situation is not healthy but unless you discuss this with your girlfriend, nothing will change.

She needs to learn to be more independent. You need breathing space, your only normal. She is choking you, and she needs to find a life besides the two of you. You need to tell her that. It isn't healthy as amicon said, she is suffocating you. If she continues to do this, I would say I would be a little leary of this girl. Maybe she isn't what you think she is..

I agree with the others, she is needy, clingy, demanding, and immature.

But then, you on the other hand, do not establish any boundaries with her. What are you afraid of.

This is not love, it's not even affection. It is an obsessive need to continuously control another person.

If this situation were reversed, and she were the man, and you the woman, it would be considered to be jealous, stalking behaviour.

Why she is so needy, and why you allow yourself to be used by her in this manner, is equally confusing.

To allow someone to take your freedom away is very unhealthy. For her to have you as the centre of her universe is unhealthy as well.

Don't give up your friends and activities because she 'needs' you. Learn how to say a simple 'no'. Let her know that in no uncertain terms, that you will talk to her often, but not all the free minutes of your day; it has to stop. If she cannot understand that her behaviour is obsessive, and if you cannot muster the courage to stick up for yourself, then expect more, not less, of the same behaviour.

Its not her behavior that the problem, its you putting up with it, that's the problem. The fact that you can't honestly express yourself, and your need for privacy, or even sleep, says a lot about you.

Stop letting her punk you, guy.

She’s insecure, obsessive, controlling, and literally smothering you to death. You must tell her and ASAP! If you don't then your resentment and anger is going to build up to a point, where you just lose your cool and blow up and tell her (which I think isn't what you want to happen). You really just need to come right out and be open and honest and tell her what's on your mind. With her being so sensitive and insecure, there's no nice way of telling her without hurting her feelings. Even if you said it in the nicest possible and respectful way, she'd still probably end up with hurt feelings. She needs to get over the insecurity.

Tell her that you have something to say to her that's truly been bothering and stressing you out for a while now, but you don't want her to take it personally. She probably has no clue that you even feel like this (without hearing it from your mouth), most women literally have no clue until you tell them. It's a risk to your health to be stressed out all the time. You certainly don't need that. Hopefully she'll understand and be supportive and will try too cool it a little. If she doesn’t, I think I’d be exiting the picture soon! Good luck!

Maybe you could introduce her to some of your female friends. Or invite her to things where a group of your friends will be, then she could socialize with other people. And then push her to interact with some of them on her own, like go shopping or such.

Also maybe talk to her about her interests and hobbies, maybe she could get involved in something like sports. With these other things in her life, she will soon be busy enjoying herself apart from you.