I have had tons of boyfriends in my life, but none of the relationships have lasted longer than a month. I know I seriously over analyze my relationships and boyfriends. I always ask myself things like: "What did it mean when he said/did that", "What if I would of done/said that.", "Will we last till this event", "I should wear this, walk like this, talk like this", "maybe if I accidently trip and.." It goes on and on. I am a very happy confident woman, except in intimate realtionships. I was also involved in a serious car accident last year that broke my face. I look exactlly the same never the less but It hurt my relationship confidence even more. It is so hard for me to believe that a guy could honestly like me and want to be with me. On New Years Eve 2010, I kissed an old friend. We have know each other a couple years and there has always been a spark. This time things are acctually moving forward. He is head over heals with me and makes sure I know that, yet I still and scared to get hurt. Its been one day since we have kissed and I am already breaking everything down. I really like this guy and I want it to work out. I just have trouble not thinking about everything when we are apart, especially before I fall asleep. How do I quit thinking about everything and just enjoy that we maybe are becoming something? What do I do when we are not hanging out? I try to breath and preoccupy myself but I need other good things about this to think about. What should I do?

Keep busy doing other things.

Sounds like you have too much time on your hands,head to the gym,start that hobbie,get on that course you want,keeping your mind busy with other things, it will give it less time to think about the relationship,and give it a chance to develop naturally.

Why don't you just loosen up and have fun? Get to know the guy well as a friend before the relationship begins. This way, you know you have common interests, and you can sort of, 'practice' hanging out with the guy in different settings, so that you become more comfortable. This way, you are only friends and there is no emotional involvement- so less pressure, and the transition into a relationship is easier. Also, why don't you try slowing things down, taking it easy, and living one day at a time.

Your obsessive-compulsive analyzing is... well... it's you. That's who you are. I doubt any MORE analyzing will change that in any substantive way anytime soon.

So, I think you're doing the best you can right now, by being AWARE of it. Part of your obsessive-compulsive behavior needs to INCLUDE obsessing over the idea that you need to keep your obsessive-compulsive thoughts out of his life... as completely as you can manage.

This means no matter what, you protect him from the effects of the things you're thinking that you can identify as OC. If you think it might be OC, it probably is... so don't bring it up to him. Don't ask him about those topics, keep them to yourself as much as you can.

... And when you can't keep it to yourself, make sure you don't convert your thoughts into "problems" he has to deal with or justify. Do your best not to let the thoughts that DO come out to him sound like he's doing anything wrong, which he may well not be.

In other words, you'll have to practice faking sanity until you're not faking anymore and the OC stuff is truly a background habit that is not affecting your life or loved ones more than is healthy.

Onward and upward!