So I've been with my boyfriend for some time now and when I first met him I knew he smoked weed but it wasn't until we actually started dating that I realized he smoked between 20 and 40 bowls a day because he has his own crop (he has his medical card to grow his own) well he eventually cut down to only a couple times a week and I'm so paranoid all he ever does is smoke because all of his friends are always over (who always smoke) and his mom smokes too. Then one day he and I got in a huge fight (almost broke up) and I got him back but one of my deals with him was that I would smoke with him at least once a day when I move in with him... I'm not sure of my question whether its should I make him quit all together? Or if its should I really smoke? (if I don't he's just going to know I lied to him to get him back) or what I should do? He says he loves me but I guess not enough to quit for me? Ah I don't know!!

He's asking you to start an addiction? What a prince-NOT. Dump the dopehead and find a man who's happy living in the real world,rather than on cloud nine.

Well he has asked me before if id smoke with him and he always respected when I said no, but for some reason I decided to make this stupid deal with him and I feel so low for making it, I feel like I gave up or something, if that makes sense...

You gave up your integrity but reclaim it by leaving him.
Google cannabisaddiction-it isn't pretty. Good luck.

Ill look it up again but believe me I've done all the research to prove to him weed is still bad... but of course he doesn't believe me... my other problem though is I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic and see I didn't choose to be that was all the pressure from my horrible sister when I was young her practically forcing me to drink everyday with her and my boyfriend says smoking weed is better than alcohol and could help me quit... is that true?

No my dear you'd just be swopping one addiction for another so that's a horrible idea. I suggest you go to AA.
They will help and support you.
Take care.

You will be adding one addiction to another addiction. Stupid... fry your brain and drown your liver. Smart choice isn't it?

Neither one is better than the other.

What is his medical condition that he has a licenced card to use pot? That is not exactly an easy thing to get unless under specific chronic conditions.

Why do you want to use somebody elses' 'prescription'?

His heavy use, his friends who use, and the use itself sounds like a lifestyle to me. Why would you start except to say that you too want this lifestyle?

I think you should be on your own, and handling your own addiction. Support 12-step type groups are good, as well as specific counselling for your own addiction such as CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy). There are options for you.

I urge you to skip jumping into the drug lifestyle with your boyfriend and his friends. Get your own life on track without alcohol, and stick to people who are good for you. Not people who are going nowhere.

And if he is "giving" or selling to his friends or even giving to you, he is breaking the law also.

And you smoking, you can't get a lot of jobs that require drug tests, and so much more.

jake2008-his medical condition is acid reflux but he also has it for a replacement for pills for depressoion and add insomia and anexity

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(he has his medical card to grow his own)

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Are you kidding me?
There is no such thing.
Anywhere!
If you saw one he must have made a fake one.
If you think these people are nothing but stoners ,get away from them and don't look back.
Save yourself because they are not going to change for you.

The point is, obviously this man is in rough shape. It sounds like he cannot just 'quit' as you mentioned in your original post, because he has several 'chronic' conditions such as acid reflux, depression, insomnia, and anxiety, requiring a medical prescription for marijuana. You realize that with that license, he is allowed only to grow as much as he needs, right? It is not a license to grow, sell, share. Anyway, my opinion is that it is highly unlikely that any Doctor would prescribe for any of his 'conditions', but there are exceptions to every rule, and it sounds like he is taking full advantage of a ready supply of 'legal' pot.

My question remains, why would you get mixed up with a man who is so sick. Why would you want that lifestyle. Why would you be trying to 'fix' him, by making deals with him to smoke yourself, so he'll smoke less. Why the rescue thing going on.

You will find that life without an addiction, is a better life. A better lifestyle for you, more productive, and rewarding. You really need to wake up and smell the coffee here. Look at the bigger picture. His addiction, with your addiction to alcohol=an unproductive, unhealthy lifestyle.

Try instead to rescue yourself, get into counselling, learn how to live without alcohol, and learn what it is about you that is attracted to men with serious issues, that are unwilling to change themselves.

Your relationship with your sister has nothing to do with where your mindset is right now. You can blame anything and everyone for you becoming alcoholic, but the truth is, it is your addiction, and you have to get help before you waste a few decades lamenting about how rotten your childhood was.

With the start of 2010, I hope you make a resolution for yourself, and decide to take care of YOU. Get into counselling, deal with your addictions, drop the boyfriend, and live a happier, productive life, on your own two feet.

That was a dumb deal to get into, and an illegal one. You had better stand up for yourself, and back away from that one, whether he leaves, or not. That's not a route to a healthy relationship at all, but a recipe for disaster.

You either accept your boyfriend for what he is, since he was doing it when you met him, or leave this situation, and find a better one. Trying to change him is futile. You have already learned enough about him, and his life, to make a good choice for yourself.

As a recovering pothead/ alcoholic, I think its time you got away from that place/person. With the fighting and him wanting you to start too,NOT good! Sorry but that's what you ned so you don't get cought up in any trouble that is going to come from his problems. Having "friends" over all the time will have the cops watching if they aren't now.

OK well I'm not going to fight with all you guys but you CAN grow your own true enough for only you but when 3 other people in the house have their card that's a lot of weed growing in the back yard... im done with this thread or whatever this is I've gotten enough info so goodbye...

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3 other people in the house have their card that's a lot of weed growing in the back yard

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That's the problem, your around a lot of active pot smokers, You can't expect him to do anything else but smoke pot, as long as he thinks it helps him through his issues, but you don't fit with that crowd, nor do you seem to want to. But how could you not be influenced by his pressure?

As long as he is so important to you, there will be pot around him, and he will constantly be urging you to join him. That's not going to change as long as your there with him.

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Originally Posted by lovebird120

ok well im not gonna fight with all you guys but you CAN grow your own true enough for only you but when 3 other people in the house have their card thats a lot of weed growing in the back yard...im done with this thread or whatever this is ive gotten enough info so goodbye...

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Where is this I wonder? There is pot growing all over the South, I'm sure of it. But no one down here has a "get out of jail free" card. Are doctors really prescribing weed so freely nowadays?

As an alcoholic/addict in successful recovery, I can tell you that you both should get into a 12 step program.

Good luck.

Not any fight do what you want you ask we gave. Life does teach a lot its up to you to learn. If someone steps in dog crap and tells you were it is so you don't,listen to them. Ask yourself this question, Is he more important then me? True you want him in your life,but is the risk,you don't have a card I'm guessing. So if you smoke too. The cops will take you and how will that be? Your call,your life. Good luck.

I think what your doing, and going through, your doing to keep him, and have a place to stay.

I wish you loved yourself, half as much as you say you loved him. He obviously loves himself, and what he is doing, more than he loves you.

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Originally Posted by jmjoseph

Where is this I wonder? There is pot growing all over the South, I'm sure of it. But no one down here has a "get out of jail free" card. Are doctors really prescribing weed so freely nowadays?

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Hello jm:

At last count, there are 13 states that allow a physician to prescribe medical marijuana, and ain't NONE in the south.

Alaska, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Washington. Two states have passed laws that, although favorable towards medical marijuana, did not legalize its use. Those would be Arizona and Maryland where a medical marijuana defense can be asserted.

While I disagree with the posts saying that marijuana is a dangerous drug, I don't disagree with the proposition that it IS a drug, and as such must be viewed in that light. Its use CAN have negative consequences, the law being the most obvious in most states. It's NOT for children. And, it may not be the drug of choice for some people. Alcoholics are often times, NOT interested in pot.

If the OP has an aversion to pot, she shouldn't smoke it... Certainly, she shouldn't be with someone who does.

excon

PS> Yup. I live in Washington, and I grow the BEST pot in the world.