I am low a priority to her
Im just wondering... My GF I have been with for over 3 years has been confusing me lately. We use to be so good together but lately she never seems to want to be with me on holidays. The first two new years she's been spending it with me but she didn't look so happy. So I let her spend it with her friends for 2009. I would say that this year has been the worse year for us because I never got to spend any holidays with her... new years, her birthday, halloween. She would always go out with her friends and the majority being guys. Well she recently just spent Christmas with me but I feel like she only did because she already had her Christmas party with her friends earlier. She is going to spend this upcoming new years with her friends again and I told her that I wanted to spend it with her because I don't have anyone to spend new years with and I feel that you should be with loved ones. She got mad and said "fine! ill cancel on my friends" and that obviously wouldn't make me feel better since she wouldn't want to spend it with me in the first place. I don't get along with her friends because they are really rude to me. I almost got into a fight with 3 of her friends already and I just do not like them at all and I tried my best to get along with them. Anyway Im just wondering what should I do? We broke up for a month and recently got back together. I changed a lot during out break up but I feel she hasn't changed at all. Should I just chill and let her go because I might be over my head. I was thinking of avoiding her and going through NC for a bit because I really feel lonely and too attached to her. She knows that she can threaten our relationship because I would apologize and call her back when things get to a bad point. I really love her but she really hurts me sometimes and I don't have enough strength to leave her.