Soo after 2 years and 8 months of dealing with drama from a female who claimed that she might have been carrying my boyfriends baby(it was between my boyfriend or another guy), we finally got the dna test results back in June 2009. The test confirmed that the child was not my boyfriends and I was sooo happy because I didn't have to deal with the drama anymore and we could finally move on and raise our daughter.Well during the time before the test results when we didn't know if the baby was his or not the ex was always starting drama with me, trying to break us up, writing him begging him to break up with me (which I saw with my own eyes), picking with me and always saying that my boyfriend wanted to be with her and wasn't claiming me and that they were still sleeping together, etc, I would always ask him about these things and he would deny them, but he still had contact with her because he didn't know if the child was his or not and he swore to me that he didn't want anything to do with her, he only talked to her because of the baby and that if the baby turned out not to be his that he would not have anything to do with her at all. Well After all of the picking and drama she started with me I just wanted my boyfriend to stay away from her until they took the dna test and the results came back, but he didn't cause he didn't want to abandon a child that might have been his, although he wasn't taking care of the child financially. When we got the test results back I tried my best to move on but I still looked at his exs myspace profile to see what she had on her page and she still had the picture of my boyfriend and her child on her page to still portray like he was the father. That kind of irritated me but whatever what could I do and I should not have cared, cause he wasn't the father, I don't guess?? Well I kept checking on her myspace periodically and nothing was ever written about my boyfriend for 6 months after the dna test. Well On December 11th 2009 I saw a message that she was writing back and forth with her friend and it basically said that my boyfriend sent her a text telling her that her best friend had written him a text telling him that she had slept with somebody who had aids,in the message the ex also said that her and my boyfriend talked about getting back together, I was laughing because I just knew she was lying because my boyfriend couldn't possibly still be talking to her after all our relationship had been through because of her,after her pinning someone else's child on him for over 2 years and after he told me if the baby wasn't his that he wasn't going to have any contact with her. Well later that day I sent my boyfriend a text asking him if he could believe that his ex is still portraying that they still talk, and that they talk about getting together, he sent back that she was crazy and she was a liar and he got a little mad with me because he did not want me on myspace and I had went on it against his will. Well he ended up getting mad at me and treating me real bad because I had been on myspace against his wishes and I had acted like it was no big deal. Well on my way home that night I signed onto myspace again and saw where the ex and her friend who sent the text to my boyfriend were fussing back and forth and my boyfriends name was all in the argument.Basically the friend was saying that she did send my boyfriend the text, so now the ex and the friends stories were matching up.So the next day I sent a text to the ex asking her if she was still going around telling people that her and my boyfriend still talked and she said no that her and my boyfriend were just friends, but before I could respond back my boyfriend wrote me and confronted me with "what kind of mess are you trying to start" the ex had wrote him and told him that I was writing her and she also told him that I sent a text to her phone acting like I was him, which was a lie, so he was pissed at me, I wrote the ex and asked her why she had to bring my boyfriend into it when it was between me and her not him and she wrote me back and told me to stop textin her phone. Well when I got home the ex wrote me on her friends page on myspace and I wrote her back, right after I wrote her back my boyfriend called me asking me what I was doing and I said nothing and I knew at that point that the ex had written him again and told him that I had wrote her again, so my boyfriend ended up breaking up with me and calling me out of my name because I continued to go on myspace after I told him I would not. So the next day I asked him about it again and he said he doesn't even talk to the other girl so how could she send him a message but I still felt like in order for their stories to match up when they were arguing it had to be some truth to it, so I kept pressing him about it.Well on December 17th he ended up admiting to me that the girl did send him the message and he did forward it to his ex because the accusation of sleeping with someone with aids was not anything to play about so he just thought he would let his ex know what her so called friend was saying about her and that's all and that she was lying about them talking about getting back together, I was so hurt cause he knew all the heartache I had been through from the whole "baby" situation, including me being pregnant with our child at that time that all the drama was happening.So the next day I was still mad and hurt because he had broken up with me a day before he had admitted to sending the text message but he told me that he didn't lie to me about it, that he didn't remember telling me that he didn't send the text but he remembered telling me that he didn't talk to her about getting back together and that's what he said she was lying about, he claimed that I never asked him about the text message and I know good a well that I did, but besides the point if I didn't ask it the correct way, he knew exactly what had happened and what he had sent and he should have corrected me and told me what happened instead of trying to play mind games and act like he didn't know what I was talking about, when he did... well I told him I was going to put him on child support and he was getting mad and irritated with me and after me and him talking about it I just couldn't be without him so I ended up getting back together with him even though he broke up with me cause I wasn't ready to let him go but since then I have been paranoid thinking he's been talking to her, and always asking him about her, and its starting to get on his nerver, even though he caused my doubt I just can't let it go cause I feel that if she caused me so much pain and our relationship so much drama, and he saw how much pain I went through having to deal with her when he didn't know if the baby was his or not then why would he go and send her a text 6 months after the dna test results when he knew she still had feelings for him, and that she was going to rub it in my face and find a way to let everyone know that he sent it to her and start lying again, and why would he send a text to a female that has lied on you to your girlfriend soooo many times and tried to break up your relationship with the person you love and the person who has your biological child... I just can't get over it or understand why he did it and I can't help but think that before the baby was proven not to be his that he talked to her about stuff other than the baby if he sent her a text months after the baby was proven not to be his and he had no reason to contact her... what do you think... should I be pissed or am I over thinking things... I need advice... help??

After reading this, I would tell you that you should leave him except that you have a child with him, so therefore he will be in your life for a long time.

First of all, I don't think he has any right to be telling you that you can't go on myspace. You have just as much right to be there as anyone else.

But I think, that if he needed to tell his ex about sleeping with someone with aids, that's acceptable and it's really a must. He's right that it isn't something to play around about.

Since you two have a child together, I say try to make it work. Just explain to him that you don't want him talking to that girl anymore, and tell him that you won't talk about it anymore either.

If he does continue to talk to her, and you do have to leave him, he'll just have to pay the child support.

I think you are all contributing directly to this soap opera.

Each of you has lied, created friction, broken promises, inappropriately accused the other of causing problems, started rumors, forced confrontations, and all of you keep upping the ante until somebody is going to snap.

You either trust him, or you don't. There is NO middle ground here. You have no business contacting the other baby's mother accusing her of messing around with your boyfriend, and demanding answers about anything.

IF you do trust him, stop the drama, never mention her again, and try to make a relationship work with the father of your baby.

You have a baby that should be first and foremost in everything you do, and it should be priority for your boyfriend too. If you put all the effort into creating a safe nurturing environment for that baby, you would have less time on your hands to create problems where none probably exist.

Your boyfriend needs to step up and put his baby and you first in his life, and work hard to establish the same goals of providing a healthy home environment with two parents who are on the same page.

If you carry on the way you are, you will end up being single. Time to make some changes, get past the other baby's mother, and get on with nurturing your baby

Thanks bidingmytime- I should try to make it work and if he does it again, break up with him and by the way the ex supposedly knew she had slept with someone with aids, she told her friend and her friend told my boyfriend, so she knew who she had slept with so my boyfriend didn't have to tell her anything, she was aware and he hasn't been with her since 2007 so whoever she slept with after then doesn't concern him.

Thanks Jake2008-I must admit that I did contribute to the drama in a way and it was just because she did me so wrong and caused so many problems in our relationship and she thought she had the right cause she was pregnant and by the way she's not his baby's mother, the baby was proven not to be his, so I just didn't understand why her telling her friend that she slept with somebody with aids had anything to do with my boyfriend because we got tested for stds before I found out I was pregnant and I also got tested again while I was pregnant so we were clean, so I feel like my boyfriend should have just ignored her friend and told her that he's clean and to take the drama directly to the ex and not bring it to him, because he had nothing to do with it because they were no longer together, but instead he forwarded it to his ex knowing that it was going to make her start drama with me and make her feel like he still cared about her and was looking out for her, I feel like people should completely cut people out of their life other than family that treats their girlfriend bad and tries to have sex with them even though they know they are in a relationship, I just feel like he shouldn't have given her a reason to start trying to contact him again, and he did.

I think staying off her Facebook, and not be involved with his ex, or her friend, would keep you out of this drama, as they are using Facebook to keep you freaked out over this. So stop already, as its more you, than them, that keeps this drama stirred up.

If you had simply ignored them, and went about your own business, when the tests came back, you wouldn't even be in this soap opera.

As for the boyfriend, drop them from any conversation with him. He is a big boy, and can handle himself, and doesn't need you chewing on his ear about this dumb sh(stuff)it!!

It isn' easy to let go of this for you, and I have to wonder why. While you realize that you contributed to being the 'middle man' in this drama, the whole point is, there was no drama until you got yourself involved in it. Had you left things alone, the issue of paternity would have been the end of it, when it was realized your boyfriend was not the father.

The ex likely spent her pregnancy thinking it was your boyfriend, and she too is having a hard time letting this go. But, if you read your posts carefully, you will see that she goated you, and you took the bait. She is feeling better because she makes you feel miserable.

And who is to say that this wasn't hard on your boyfriend either. He may have gotten used to the idea of being a father to two babies, and during that time, being cordial to the other one, was the right thing to do until he knew for sure one way or the other.

It would be nice now, if you could see the bigger picture here, and let the past, stay in the past. While you may have the urge to get even over what you think she's done to you, the truth is, she played you like a fiddle. She has nothing to lose right? She doesn't have your boyfriends baby, and their relationship is over.

I agree with talaniman that you should have ignored everything after the test results came back. Making it a daily, unresolved issue, has kept this woman between the two of you.

Let it go, and fight the urge to contact, gossip, and talk to your boyfriend about this woman. I think that if you leave her in the past, you and your boyfriend will be much happier.

Jake I have to spread the rep but I agree-time to let it go.

First, your question is very difficult to read, please try and use paragraphs appropriately so that the reader can more readily assist your question.

I agree with Jake2008, this will be difficult for you to do, but if the relationship has any value to you, you have to get past this. Without trust, you don't have a relationship.

You are still defending your belief that he had no necessity for telling this ex about sleeping with someone with AIDS, which is VERY serious. It's not your place to decide what he should and shouldn't inform her. In good conscience had he not told her and she wasn't already aware he may have been left with a huge guilt. Or maybe he thought she may need support, and while you may not agree, they DID have a life together, had she found some unfortunate news that informed her she was HIV+, it was very caring that he contacted her directly.

Overall, you are a parent now. You can not control other people in your lives. Try being understanding and respectful and worry about the person you can control - you. He has promised to let her out of his life now that paternity has been confirmed. Yet it's YOU who is keeping her in your lives but following her around on MySpace. Time for some maturity and closure for you both. Let this issue end, or it will end your relationship.

Just way too much drama! Focus on raising your child and forget all the in between.

Thanks Everyone For Your Help, Me and My Boyfriend Are No Longer Together, He Broke Up With Me Last Night For The 20th Time In This Relationship Along With Threatening 2 Hit Me And Breaking My Outside Door Handle To My Drivers Side Door While Trying To Open The Door 2 Do God Knows What to me, I Feel That Its His Loss Not Mine Considering The Fact That From This Situation Lies Have Came Out Because He Forgot What He Told Me In The Past And I Remembered.


I Also Feel That My Ex Should Have Told Me He Sent Her That Text Instead Of Hiding It From Me and Me Finding Out From Others. My Ex Knew Good And Well That When He Sent That Text That He Was Going Against Our Relationship And That If I Found Out That It Was Going To Break Us Up & It Did Cause I Just Couldn't Let It Go.


He Knew It Was Going To Break Us Up Or At Least Cause Problems Because He Had Told His Grandmother That The Day He Admitted It To Me... With All That Said Its Better For Us to be Friends Anyway Because That Means I Don't Have 2 Deal With Being Slapped In Front Of His Fam, Cursed Out, Called A Faggot A** B****, & Constantly forgiving him for those things thinking he would change but he didn't, and he would always justify it with "you made me mad" or "you act like you didnt do anything to deserve it" so I'm better off without him, I just realized that I never let the things he has done to me in the past go but I stayed with him anyway cause I loved him but staying with him just caused more problems cause those things were always in the back of my mind and I hated him for treating me that way and acting like he never ever did me wrong by putting his hands on me.



I guess the reason why I couldn't let the past go is because I felt like he lied to me about a lot of the things back then because some of the lies came out and I was always looking for lies to come out or for him to have contact with her so I could let him go.

Please this time STAY broken up,make sure your child is safe and happy and get supervised visitation rights as a man who threatens violence is not a good role model as a father.